So I drop by Blockbuster tonight to grab up some DVDs for the weekend, and I’m seeing this cute-as-a-button brunette prancing about the store.

Hmmmmmm… 

She was finally at the checkout, so I quickly grabbed a DVD and casually got in line behind her.

I looked over her shoulder.  “Oooh, Street Kings.  Good movie, you’ll like it.”

“Oh yah, I looove Keanu Reeves!”

I grinned, then happened to notice a really big, fatty, fat boy standing next to her, paying for, um, her rental??

“So you’re gonna be watching it with your brother?”

“Oh this is my boyfriend,” she said in a sing-song, cheery voice.

I broke out laughing for a few seconds, then paused.  “Seriously?”  I looked at him.  He seemed to be grating his teeth.

“Oh sure!  He’s such a sweetheart too!”  She held his arm.

“Wow… WOW.  Dude, you must be so loaded.  Was that your Corvette I saw parked out there?”

He didn’t say anything, but his face turned purple with…. embarrassment?  Rage, maybe?  I think it was rage.

Needless to say I quickly excused myself and made like I had forgotten my wallet, or something.

Ahhhh Friday nights.  Gotta love it.

Tags: blockbuster, boyfriend, cute girl, dvds, faux pas, friday night
Categories: Comic Relief
 
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….when I can now enjoy the fresh episodes of Stargate SG-1 and Atlantis?

I got my tub of Blockbuster popcorn, a nice tall glass of Diet Cola, and the easy chair all geared up and ready to go. Ahhh, a Friday night all to myself. Maybe now I’ll be able to forget about how Uptown Girl strung me along for months and then finally blew me off, the no-good lying backstabbing Babylonian harlot may she choke on her own vomit.

But I’m not upset about it.

I kinda knew deep down that things wouldn’t get very far with her. Not so much because we came from two different worlds, but also because she gave off the vibe of being an emotionally cold, self indulgent woman. If she truly had a kind heart, one that showed a genuine care and concern for others, then why was she working for a law firm that catered only to rich clients? Why wasn’t her heart drawn to helping less fortunate people, victims of wrongdoing who never see justice only because they simply couldn’t afford it? Why didn’t she take time to volunteer for charitable work? Where was that trait I was so earnestly looking for, of a woman who was willing to stretch forth her hand to the poor and needy? She just didn’t have it.

It was clear instead that she enjoyed living the good life. Sipping wine, vacationing to exotic places, tanning on beaches, jacuzzis, massages, and so on, the kind of life she could only sustain by working for an affluent law firm. Yet, I don’t begrudge her for doing these things. I think there’s a time and place for recreation and fun, but I also think there’s a point where your life becomes so hedonistic that it can corrupt your soul. And even though she professed to be a Christian, spirituality to her was something that was summed up in attending church once a week, and nothing more. She was not one I could share deep discussions about my faith with. And this was a maddening mentality I’ve seen repeatedly before which I could never understand. How can people truly expect to placate God by only dedicating a few hours on Sunday to Him, and then completely forget about Him for the rest of the week? Can they honestly believe He is pleased by this display of lukewarm spirituality?

Through my emails I opened my heart up to her, and though she claims to have been touched by it, I knew she really wasn’t. There was no empathy, no concern for my well-being, no genuine interest in how I was dealing with the aggravation and problems I was currently experiencing in my life, even though I was certainly interested in what her daily afflictions might have been. But the thing is, she didn’t have any. Suffering for her was not being able to sip wine on her patio because it rained.

She wasn’t a bad person though. But she wasn’t a good person either. I began to realize all this early on, but I guess I held on anyway, hoping against hope that maybe she would surprise me. Maybe she would indeed have a soft and gentle soul, tuned in to the suffering of others, with a fire inside her that yearned to alleviate their burdens and comfort those that needed comforting. Maybe the apparent coldness she seemed to give off was just borne out of an understandable hesitation to open up to me. Maybe for once, my sixth sense was just wrong here.

Or maybe not.

Now it’s back to enjoying Friday nights all by myself again, with only a tub of popcorn and a teddy bear named Homer to keep me company.

Tags: affection, atlantis, blockbuster, caring, charitable work, christian spirituality, christianity, Christians, church, cold, comfort, concern, diet cola, email, empathetic, firm, gentle, girl, God, harlot, hedonistic, kind heart, law, life, love, massages, popcorn, romance, self indulgent, shallow, soul, spirituality, stargate, stargate sg 1, TV, two different worlds, uptown girl, vain, vomit, woman, women, women suck
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log, Romance and Relationships
 
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Well it’s Friday, I’m by myself at work, and once again I have no plans for tonight other than twiddling my thumbs and watching WWE Smackdown. Guess it beats getting drunk at bars and waking up in stranges places the next morning, but maybe not if you like that kind of thing.

Back in the days when I had friends, on Fridays I would sometimes gather up my computer rig and stop by my best friend’s house, where me and a few other buds would set up a local network and game until 4 in the morning. Sometimes we went out to the movies or rented DVDs, but either way, someone (usually me) always made sure we stocked up on enough junk food to kill a healthy elephant. It was a nerdy way to spend a weekend, but still, we had us a time.

But then somewhere along the way, my best bud started juggling relationships with several different women, and because I was too much of a freak to manage getting a girl of my own, I found myself spending more and more Friday nights hanging out with my friend… and whatever stupid bitch he happened to be dating at the moment. Quite obviously, said stupid bitch would not be keen on some of the geeky things we liked to do, unless it involved renting a DVD from the romantic comedy section at Blockbuster.

Suddenly, Fridays were no longer as much fun as they used to be.

Nowadays, my idea of an ideal Friday night has become more romanticized since then, and ironically enough, it involves the very thing that started ruining my Fridays to begin with: women. Yet I liked the idea of renting a DVD from Blockbuster, and then cuddling up with a sweetheart on the couch as enjoyed whatever flick we decided to rent. Or maybe hanging out at my place or hers so we can spend a quiet evening discussing love and life over a homemade candlelit dinner. Companionship was what I really wanted.

But as one decade rolled into another, I realized the sad truth that it would never happen to me. Years of disappointment and unrequitted love had coagulated together to create a poisonous bitterness in me that I can’t seem to shake no matter how hard I try. Whenever I dwell on my loneliness and how I got to this point, I truly want nothing better than to just lay down and die. It’s as if my whole existence had been a mistake, but somehow fate had screwed up and I managed to be born, rather than become just another number in the miscarriage statistics.

Instead I’m stuck in the vicious cycle where my bitterness has deeply affected my personality, knowing full well no girl worth half her weight in salt would think to approach me in my current state, yet that very fact also perpetuates my bitterness. What came first, the chicken or the egg?

Hmm, maybe I WILL have that speedball after all.

Tags: alone, blockbuster, buds, companionship, disappointment, elephant, flick, Fridays, friends, girlfriends, junk food, local network, lonely, rig, romantic comedy, sweetheart, TGIF, women, women suck
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log, Romance and Relationships
 
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