Blessings | The Habitation of Justice

Spend, Spend, Spend! I’m my own economic boom, baby!

Lincoln Adams | July 27, 2009 @ 9:46 pm

I’ve been going on a spending spree ever since paying off the last of my debt earlier this month, but don’t worry, most of it has been for necessities such as work shoes, which literally had gaping holes in them and were over 2 years old (you could see my toe-sies!) And believe me, you don’t even wanna know what state my underwear were in. :wideeyed: Thankfully though, I am no longer a tighty whitey dude.

I also threw down for some chick magnetizing sunglasses and FINALLY settled on a brand new watch as well, getting ever so closer to checking off all the items on my wishlist and becoming … *clears throat* … the ULTIMATE Blogging Badass. :shades:

I do all this, of course, with the full knowledge that the current economy quite plainly sucks flaming donkey balls (while the democrats in Congress continue to serve up a fresh batch of them by the day.) I realize a lot of people are hurting out there, so when I go on about buying some nice, shiny new toys (and manly looking boxer-briefs) while people are out there suffering from all sorts of financial distress, I do feel bad about it…. for a minute or two.

The reason I don’t feel TOO bad about it is because I remember the days when the economy was boom stomping and people were going half mad buying up tech stocks or purchasing ridiculously sized homes they couldn’t afford, while I could only watch with wonder and dismay, unemployed and eventually even homeless.

Yep, there was a time when I was actually homeless, evicted by a demon possessed relative who literally poisoned my beloved cat. I guess this Nazi loving moochbag couldn’t find a Jew to gas, so he went for my cat instead. Fun times!

I remember that all happened in 2000 too, during what was supposed to be the year of jubilee. All the churches in my area just kept going on and on about the year of jubilee, and how it was going to be a time of unparalleled blessings and prosperity and bountiful harvests and God only knows what else, none of which incidentally enough, I ever experienced. Instead, it was just one traumatic loss after another. Loss of inheritances. Loss of homes. Loss of security. Loss of family. I think if you were to collectively take everything that had been lost by either me or my family, it would literally amount to hundreds of thousands of dollars. The magnitude of what we had lost or stolen from us amazes me even today. All during a time of economic prosperity and growth too.

In a way, I see these modest splurges as a way to regain some of what I had lost after ten years of plague and darkness. To find myself in a secure job, debt free, with money to invest and a blog that brings me a decent second income during a time of economic distress and imminent calamity has to be the ultimate height of irony. This is the LORD’s doing, and it is marvelous before our eyes.

I find myself in a transitional phase now, with one shackle after another slowly falling off until one day I am going to find myself completely independent, and completely free. Knowing that day is not too far off now, I wonder to myself, What will I do with this newfound freedom? What will I do with the talents (Matthew 25:14-30) that I’ve been given?

I certainly can’t hoard it to myself, nor do I want to. A free man can set others free, and I want to take what is mine, and give it to those in need. I know what it’s like to lose everything. I know what it’s like to suffer. But I also know that a man’s life consists not in the abundance of the things he possesses. We have been told by our society that a man is nothing if he doesn’t have a house or land, and we are now paying the price for that fallacy. Truth be told, of all the things that had been stolen from me, including a home, I never really wanted any of it anyway, nor did it bother me all that much to lose it. It was the concept that someone had taken something from me through the most despicable and evil means (and had gotten away with it) that bothered me, and more than bothered me, it enraged me. It wasn’t justice. Why did God reward evil with good? It’s something I still struggle with even today, even as I watch the tide gradually turn in my favor.

As angry as I am about the past, I never want to do to others what had been done to me. It’s my desire to alleviate the burdens of the innocent, not add to them. But in what capacity I could realize these desires, I don’t know. That chapter has yet to be played out.

I do know I want to save the world, one innocent person at a time. And I hope one day I can do so… while wearing comfortable boxer-briefs and looking cool in my chick magnetizing shades. :ggrin:

Tags: blessings, church, darkness, economy, financial, freedom, homeless, independent, justice, money, plague, rage, security, spending spree, wishlist, year of jubilee
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log

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How I Won By Losing: learning to be independent by depending on God alone

Lincoln Adams | September 5, 2007 @ 8:00 am

Tonight’s chat with a dear friend of mine reminded me of a lesson I learned a few years ago, when I went ape nuts clicking every blue link I could find at iWon.com in a bid to become independently wealthy and attract me some hot gold digging babes. I was on a mission to win something, ANYTHING from iWon’s site, so I could pay my bills, quit my job, and at long last tell my boss to go blow it out his own arse.

I also signed up for these gaming sites too in the hopes that I would become some kind of gaming master and win hundreds of dollars in cash prizes. Instead, I would win $1.50… then lose $2.00, win $4.00, then lose $5.00, and on and on.

For three weeks I was at it, playing games, click click clicking, playing some more games, then click click clicking, then play iWon’s slot machine, then click click clickity click click clicking, until my fingers started to sprain. By the end of the third week I was a few dollars in the hole and my fingers looked liked they belonged to the Elephant Man. I wasn’t getting anywhere. As usual, luck was never a lady with me, and in the end I finally gave up.

The next day I went to work, and as I was signing in, somebody handed me an envelope.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“That’s your raffle prize.”

“My…. what??”

“Every year we raffle off the profits from the soda machines, and everyone is automatically entered. You were one of the winners, so that’s your share. 25 bucks.”

I just stood there, blown away by having finally won something, and especially at the timing of it all. I had spent the last three weeks trying to win every prize imaginable at iWon, and failing miserably at that, and now came this, a $25 prize for a raffle I never even knew existed. I still have that envelope by the way, with the money still inside.

There’s an old joke where a man prays to God to win the lottery and the Lord tells him to go buy a lottery ticket first. In my case even that part had already been taken care of. It was a sobering lesson straight from heaven, and one I had sadly forgotten over the years. As much as I’d like to believe God to rain His blessings on my life without requiring any effort on my part except to receive it, I still strive in my own strength to create my own success, and no matter how many times I fail, that lesson never seems to fully sink in for me. It’s been especially true these past few weeks, as I try to cram as much knowledge as I can find into my poor little brain so I can utilize it all to make money off the Internet, whether through my blog or elsewhere. There’s so much information to sift through, so little time to digest it all, and not enough brainpower on my part to take what I know and transform myself into the self sufficient man that I’ve always longed to be.

And yet I seem to leave no room for God in any of this. I’m trying to do it all on my own strength, relying on the world’s wisdom and philosophies, when instead I should be casting these burdens on Him, and trusting Him to once again provide that envelope of blessings when I truly need it. That’s something no professional blogger or Internet mogul will ever tell you either. But it’s the secret to real success, real peace and freedom from worry, learning that it really is all under His control. If I succeed in this new mission I’ve made for myself, it will not be because of my talents or skills or luck, but only, and ONLY, because God is gracious in His blessings towards me.

By the way, I do intend to use the prize money I won someday… specifically for when I finally meet the girl of my dreams.