There’s been another “revival” going down in Florida (it’s always Florida) where people have been experiencing healings and miracles and walking away with gold teeth even. (Really, gold teeth now? Why not drop some gold bonds into our laps instead? Seems that would be far more constructive than having to get one of my chompers ripped out just so I can cash in on some heavenly manna.)

Anyway… at least one healing allegedly went awry though when a pastor suffering from bone cancer died only a week later after he was pronounced healed by the repugnant looking Todd Bentley (really dude, how much metal can you possibly jam into your eyebrows there? Though I guess I shouldn’t say anything, since God supposedly told you to mutilate your body… repeatedly… all for His glory I’m sure.)

After I chimed in with my own thoughts on the story at Word N’ Verse, I noticed a comment in response to Isaiah’s post that to put it mildly, was bonknuts insane:

…But blame shifting is not the answer my friend. Todd Bentley believe that God’s word is true - just as you do. Therefore, he can say without any doubt that, “We are healed.” Todd is not the healer. God is. And we are not Todd’s judge. God is.

Good grief what an idiot. Supposing Larry Reed’s story is true (I can’t confirm whether it is), it’s obvious in this context Bentley was declaring that Reed was physically healed, and wasn’t merely speaking in metaphorical terms. Reed after all didn’t make that trip just so he could be reassured that we’re all metaphorically/spiritually healed in Christ, ‘Praise the Lord, Amen’ and all that jazz. He was looking for an actual HEALING.

Bentley made a false declaration, plain and simple. To infer that he was speaking merely in metaphorical terms is ridiculous and offensive.

So what went wrong then? I don’t know, maybe the angels that were assigned to do Reed’s healing were too busy gathering money from the four corners of the earth to support Bentley’s lifestyle that they just couldn’t get to the poor guy in time.

Seriously, this guy is like a Harley Davidson version of Benny Hinn, and you’d think by now people would finally warm up to the shenanigans of these holy rolling scam artists and realize how they’ve been getting jerked around all these years. But nope, proclamations of meeting up with Paul in heaven and conversing with girlie angels named Emma only has the masses begging for more.

Although…. I wonder if Emma is single? Hey, I always believed the girl of my dreams would be an angel from heaven, so maybe if Bentley Boy can hook me up, I might decide not to be so critical of his ministry.

Nah, I’ll do it myself, *picks up cell phone*

“Hello, Information? Give me Jesus on the line….”