Anomaly | The Habitation of Justice

Another coworker gets hitched and why it’s making me batsh*& insane

Lincoln Adams | September 3, 2008 @ 8:04 pm

Another coworker of mine is getting married, this time it’s a woman with cerebral palsy. Very nice person too, and when she talked about her fiance, she indicated that he had a similar disability as well. She showed us all her lovely new ring.

“Wow, that’s probably about as close as I’ll ever get to an actual real diamond,” I said.

“See Linc? You never know.”

“Unfortunately, I have found that I am the exception to every rule, no matter what that rule is.”

Indeed, it seems lately that every time I look around, I’m always seeing somebody being paired up with their own. If I see a Chinese girl, she’s holding hands with a Chinese guy. If I see a black guy, he’s holding hands with a black girl. Now here’s someone with a disability who is getting hitched to someone else with a disability. How in a horse’s wide load are these people finding each other?

For my part, all I can seem to attract are women who, oddly enough, look like men. Does that mean I’m really gay and this is God’s way of trying to tell me to own up to it?

Really quite sure that’s not the case here, but frankly, I’m running out of plausible reasons to explain away this anomaly.

Lately though, I’ve been settling on what I call the “My Man Genes Were Pounded to Fossilized Dino Droppings” theory. This theory extrapolates that I was somehow born with a genetic defect that precludes a particular demographic of women from being able to see me. Like, at all. In other words, if I’m at the supermarket, they will run right through my righteous ass with their carts not because they’re being rude, but because they just couldn’t see me.

The more I think about it the more things start to make sense. If I hold a door for a girl and she walks right on through without acknowledging me or saying thank you, it wasn’t because she was being rude. Again, she just couldn’t SEE me. It also explains why when I’m talking to a girl, she’s always looking past me, like I’m not actually there. Really, is it conceivable that every woman in creation would be that rude? Doesn’t it make more sense that they were simply unable to physically see me at all?

I think I need to head down to Harvard with this. This definitely merits a closer look and possibly conducting controlled studies so this phenomenon can be observed in action. I’m talking fully funded with grants and the whole works, and lots of hot girls to use as test subjects too.

Seriously, it’s for science.

Tags: anomaly, coworker, demographic, disability, girl, girls, God, phenomenon, science, woman, women
Categories: Romance and Relationships

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How Akismet Hosed My WordPress Blog

Lincoln Adams | August 8, 2007 @ 7:40 pm

For some time now I used to have this perplexing problem where I simply couldn’t access the administrative section of my blog without it timing out on me. I couldn’t figure out what was causing the latency issues, and I also noticed that if I tried to access it from a different browser or different IP address, the issue would usually clear itself up. It was an anomaly that only occurred every now and then, so I wasn’t too worried.

Then yesterday it started happening again. Only it got worse. MUCH worse. So bad in fact, that I couldn’t access the Admin page at all. Then I started getting 500 internal server errors after trying to access my admin from different browsers and different IP addresses. Nothing seemed to work.

I finally submitted a ticket to my hosting service, Hostgator. I was a little worried that I would get some half baked tech support dude, but these guys really rose to the occasion. After scouring over every nook and cranny of my blog, a network admin emailed me to let me know they they had been experiencing a lot of issues with WordPress blogs that day, and the only common denominator that they could find was that we all had Akismet installed. They since learned that it was an issue on the manufacturer’s side. The network admin then deactivated my plugin and asked me to check my blog again.

Instant access! Yaaaaaay! My admin page was now loading, and it was smoking fast too. I couldn’t believe it.

But now I had another problem. I no longer had protection from comment spammers, and my blog suddenly became open season for these scumballs. I was already getting comment spam while I raced to my options page and set all future comments to moderated status as a temporary fix.

I then went to the home site for Akismet (which is developed by Automattic,) to see what news there were regarding this issue that was apparently affecting quite a few WordPress based blogs.

Nothing. There was no update to speak of, and the Akismet blog itself hadn’t even been updated in a month. So I used their contact form to send them a polite note inquiring about this issue and how soon it would be resolved. No response. So not only did they hose the administrative portion of my blog, but they blow me off on top of that?

Suck it, Automattic. It’s obvious your support system isn’t worth a hill of smelly beans. This was a problem that had the capacity to lock out God only knows how many WordPress users from accessing the admin portion of their blogs, but this seems to matter to you, not at all.

I suspect this might have something to do with using an older version of the Akismet plugin though (I was using 2.0). When I upgraded to 2.02, everything seemed to work fine. But just by going to their website, you’d have no idea that there had been any updates since 2.0. There’s no changelog or even any other basic information, except for a download link for “2.0″ which in actuality was really 2.02.

This wouldn’t frost my cookies so much if it had been any other typical third party plugin, where you can only expect so much support from its developer. This was a plugin developed by the makers of WordPress itself, and one that required API access to their servers. If something goes wrong, it’s liable to create problems not just for them, but for your blog as well.

So… how about a little bit of courtesy here for us little people, mmmm-kay? :angry:

Tags: akismet, anomaly, automattic, blog, blogs, bug, common denominator, downtime, half baked, hostgator, hosting service, ip addresses, issues, open season, plugins, spam, spammers, tech support, web hosting, wordpress
Categories: Blog Fog

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We are… Unique

Lincoln Adams | August 31, 2006 @ 3:11 pm

Just some random thoughts going through my head today while I sit here doing just about everything except what I should be doing, that is, working:

After wandering around the Internet vainly searching for members of my kind, I’ve come to realize something: There ARE no members of my kind. I am… an anomaly, a glitch in the system. I can relate to no one, and none can relate to me.

The sun is out, the temperature is perfect, it’s the last day of August, and this horrific summer is finally coming to an end. So why am I so bloody depressed??

I can’t believe I’m still smarting over one of my co-workers getting hitched faster than you can say “Prenup!” I’m here 6 years and I don’t get so much as a nibble. She’s here 5 months and in that timespan dates another co-worker, falls in love, and gets engaged. All this in 5 months?? WT*???

Ok, back to work, or rather, back to avoiding it as much as possible. :grin:

Tags: 5 months, 6 years, anomaly, co worker, co workers, depression, glitch in the system, lonely, love, nibble, random thoughts, single, Sun, women, working, wt
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log

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