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Why Affiliate Marketers are Scum of the Earth and Should Rot in Hell

Lincoln Adams | February 26, 2009 @ 1:57 pm

There were several advertising networks I used to deliver ads to my blog here, and for a while I had a pretty good setup going, to the point that with a little more traffic I could actually earn a decent secondary income, and maybe some day live off my blog altogether.  A few of them though didn’t have the option of letting me preview ads before they went live, but they did have some rudimentary filtering features (such as blocking advertisers by domain), and I figured that would be enough for me.

Until the acai berry ads started showing up.

You’ve probably seen them already, as they have infested the Internet like some sort of cyber mutated bubonic plague.   Really, Moses himself couldn’t call down a worse plague than this.  The ads lead to landing pages (vanilla websites) that contain completely fake testimonials with before and after photos that were photoshopped and/or taken from stock photo sites.  The links to the products are actually hidden affiliate links on which the affiliate marketer (or as I like to call him, the Greedy Scum Whoring Bitch Boy of Satan) receives a commission every time a visitor clicks on one of his links and subsequently makes a purchase.  What many of them don’t realize though is that the “free” acai berry offers being promoted are really a gimmick to get your credit/debit card info, at which point they charge you about $100 after two weeks without your knowledge.   By the time people figure out what’s what, the scam has already been perpetrated, and it will take much hair tearing and gnashing of teeth to get your money back again, if you can at all.  As time goes on, these landing pages are getting more and more sophisticated and will no doubt fool even more people as a result.

As if that weren’t bad enough, these are the kind of ads Greedy Scum Whoring Bitch Boy of Satan might show:

Typical Acai Berry Scam Ad
:sick:

Naturally, I didn’t want these ads showing up on my blog.  I wanted only quality ads that lead to genuine products, and since these ads were nothing more than overfunded (not to mention overEXPOSED) snake oil scams, I moved to block them on the ad networks they were circulating on.

Or I should say, I TRIED to block them.  That’s when I realized just how bad this epidemic of vomit inducing flabby skin really was.  On the ValueClick network, Greedy Scum Whoring Bitch Boy of Satan constantly changed the name of his ad campaigns so even when I blocked one campaign, another one would pop up under an entirely different name.  I emailed Valueclick and complained several times about this, giving them the names of the campaigns, but of course they ignored me.  After all, I’m not the guy who’s showing them the money.  And it’s all about the money, right Valueclick?  How’s your stock doing by the way?  Jerkweeds.

Then I noticed they were also showing up on what was by far my most lucrative network: ADSDAQ (owned by ContextWeb).  Not to worry though, ADSDAQ had the option of blocking ads by domain name, so I figured no biggie, I’ll just block the domains these ads lead to, and that will be the end of it.

But then another domain popped up, and then another one, and then ANOTHER one.  And then suddenly there were ads for government grant scams, and teeth whitening scams, and ads to fake eBooks promising natural cures for various ailments, and ads for wrinkle cream scams, and on and on and on.  I literally started spending hours a day hunting down these rogue ads and adding more domains to the blacklist, and STILL they were getting through.  Just how bad was it?  Well lookie here at my latest blacklist:

acaiberryboom.com
acaiberrydetox.com
acaiberryscam.org
acaiberrytruth.org
acaicomparison.com
acaifacts.org
acaihealthreport.com
acaihealthtest.com
acaionoprah.com
adamsmoney.com
adamsmoneyblog.com
adrianasweightloss.com
adriennesweightloss.com
akabeezy.com
alanasweightloss.com
alliesdiet.com
amandasteeth.com
ameliasweightloss.com
amydiet.com
amysbrightsmile.com
amysdietcombo.com
amysincome.com
amysteeth.com
amysweightlossdiary.com
andrewsblog.grantmoneyforyou.com
annasdiet.com
annasdietingblog.com
annasdietstory.com
anndropslbs.com
annsdietsecret.com
annsweightloss.com
anthonyisgreen.com
ashleysweightloss.com
asthmadefeated.com
aubreysdietblog.com
beckylostweight.com
beckysmoneyblog.com
beckyswhiteteeth.com
becomeskinnyfast.com
benbanksit.com
bestcelebdiet.com
bestwhiteners.com
bethsmoney.com
bethsmoney.net
bethsmoney.org
billgetsmoney.com
blog.jennyswhiteteeth.com
blogfordiets.com
bradmakesitrain.com
bradsbailout.com
bradsmoney.com
bradsmoneyblog.com
briangetsmoney.com
brians-money-blog.com
briansmoneyblog.com
britneylostweight.com
buy-it-now-online.net
carlasmoney.com
cashfromgrants.info
catchhimandkeephim.com
cathysteeth.com
cellulitedefeated.com
chadgetsgreen.com
cheddahustleblog.com
cheddasblingblog.com
christiesdietsuccess.com
cindiesweightloss.com
clarasweightloss.com
colitis-cme.com
colitiscured.com
coloncleansefacts.org
conniesgrantstory.com
coreycash.com
coreyhasmoney.com
craiggetscash.com
craigsblogsite.org
dangetsgreen.com
danielgetsgreen.com
daniellasweightloss.com
danielsmoneyblog.com
darrylgotpaid.com
datingadvicesitesreviewed.info
davegetsmoney.com
davidscreditstory.com
davidsmoneyblog.com
debt-free-dave.com
debt-free-debbie.com
debtdownthedrain.com
destinysweightloss.com
dietproductsguide.com
diverticulitiscure.com
diverticulitisinstitute.com
donnasdietingblog.com
double-diet.net
downbutneverout.com
earncashfromgrants.com
elliesteeth.com
elliesweightloss.com
emergevictoriousoverfat.com
emmasdietblog.com
emmasweightlosssuccess.com
ericmakesmoney.com
erinsweightloss.com
fastgooglecash.info
fibromyalgiacured.com
flatstomachdiets.com
flatstomachrule.com
freddysblog.com
free-dieting.org
gay.com
get-money-online.com
getvitalacai.com
googlekits.com
governments-grants-2009.com
govgrantcash.com
govgrantscenter.com
grantmecash.com
grantreviewsonline.com
grantsforyounow.com
grantsreviews.org
greggetsgrants.com
healgenitalwarts.com
healthproductsanalysis.com
healthy-diet-program.com
heatherswhiteteeth.com
helensdiet.com
hemochromatosiscure.com
how-to-whiten-teeth.com
howigotwhiteteeth.com
howtolosefatfast.net
imwrinklefree.com
jackmakescash.com
3.jackmakescash.com
jackysdietblog.com
jadesteeth.com
janetsdebtblog.com
jasongetsgrants.com
jasongetspaid.com
jasongrants.com
jaygotmoney.com
jeaniesdietblog.com
jeffgetsgrants.com
jeffgetsgreen.com
jeffreysgrantblog.com
jeffsgrant.net
jeffsgrantmoney.com
jennasweightloss.com
jennasweightloss.net
jennylostweight.com
jennysathomejob.com
jennysdietblog.com
jennysdietsuccessstory.com
jensdietsecret.com
jensweightblog.com
jensweightjournal.com
jensweightlossjournal.com
jenydiet.com
jeremymadecash.com
jessicasmoney.com
jessicasmoneyblog.domlander.com
jillsbusinessblog.com
jimgetspaid.com
jimgotmoney.com
jimmygetscash.com
johngotrich.com
johnsgrantsuccess.com
johnsmoneyblog.com
jonsunemployment.com
judysweightloss.com
juliesdietblog.com
justingetsgreen.com
justinsmoneystory.com
karens-weightloss.com
karenswhiteteeth.com
karlasweightloss.com
kathylostweight.com
kaylaswhiteteeth.com
kaysdiet.com
kellygetsgreen.com
kellysdiet.com
kellysdietblog.com
kellysdietsecret.com
kellyswhiteteeth.com
kellyweightlossblog.com
kelseysweightloss.com
kevinblogsite.org
kevingetsgrants.com
kevingetsgreen.com
kevingoesgreen.com
kevingonegreen.com
kevingotcash.com
kevingotgreen.com
kevingothisgreen.com
kevinhoeffer.com
kevinsacidrefluxcure.com
kevinsbigmoneysecret.com
kevinsgotgreen.com
kevinsgrantstory.com
kevinsgreen.com
kevinsnewlife.com
kevinsrich.com
kimsdietplan.com
laurasteeth.com
lisashomebiz.com
lisaswhitesmile.com
lorigetspaid.com
lorriesweightloss.com
loseweightjen.com
makecashmonies.com
mandysdietingblog.com
mariasdietblog.com
marksgotcash.com
maryweightlossblog.com
mate1.com
mattsgrants.com
megansdietingblog.com
melissasdiet.com
melsdietblog.com
michellesweightloss.com
mikegetsmoney.com
mikemakesmoney.com
mikesgmoney.com
mikesmoneymatters.com
mollysrecipes.com
mollysweightlost.com
monasweightloss.com
monicasdietblog.com
my-money-journey.com
my-white-teeth.com
my-whitening-story.com
myacaisuccess.com
mydailyrecipes.com
mydietblogjourney.com
mygovtbailout.com
mygrantdollars.com
mygrantstory.com
mygrantstory.net
mylife.kevingoesgreen.com
myonlinedietblog.com
myowndiet.com
mysixpacks.com
myteeth.org
myweightlostdiary.info
nadiasweightloss.com
nichollesweightloss.com
nickgetspaid.com
nicksbusiness.com
nicksgreen.com
nicksmoneyblog.com
nirvanadance.com
one-flat-stomach-rule.com
onegirlsweightloss.com
onlinecashkit.com
onlinegoldfinder.com
pams-diet-blog.com
partnerwithpaul.com
patdietblog.com
paulgetspaid.com
photoshop.es0ftware.com
provedweightloss.com
rachaelraygoodies.com
rachaelsweightloss.com
rachelrayblog.com
rachelrayblogs.com
rachelraydiet.com
rachelraygoodies.com
rachelsberrydiet.com
rachelsdietadvice.com
rachelsdietguide.com
rachelsweightloss.com
rachelteethwhitening.com
rachelweightloss.com
reannesweightloss.com
refluxremedy.com
removemystretchmarks.com
reneesweightloss.com
restoremyyouth.com
richgetsrich.com
richstudent.net
rickiesweightloss.com
rickysfastcash.com
robertscashblog.com
robsgrants.com
ryan-craig.com
ryansincomestory.com
ryansmoney.com
sarahs-weightloss.com
sarahscleanteeth.com
sarahsdebtblog.com
sarahsweightloss.com
sarahswhiteteeth.com
sarasweightloss.com
sarcoidosiscure.com
sashasdietblog.com
scottsjobhunt.com
scottsmoney.com
secretofdiets.com
shingles-cure.com
singlesnet.com
sitereviewauthorities.org
sophiasweightloss.com
sophiesweightloss.com
stevesmoneyblog.com
stimulus-grants.org
tanyasdietblog.com
tanyasweightlossblog.com
teethwhiteningreviewed.com
theacaiberryresearch.net
theacaiberryresearch.org
thisdietsavedme.com
tinasdietblog.com
tomscash.com
tomsjournal.com
tomsmoney.com
tonyasdietdiary.com
top-teeth-whitening-reviews.com
top3acai.com
tourettes-disorder.com
tracysweightloss.com
true.com
trynaturesacaiberry.com
trynaturesbestacai.com
tuberculosiscured.com
tylersmoney.com
usgrantguide.org
wealthresource.org
weightlossduo.com
whitener-reviews.com
whiteningreview.com
whitenteethathome.com
winfreysweightlossblog.com
www-grants.org
jennasweightloss.net
JensWeightBlog.com
emmaweightlosssuccess.com
Realplasticsurgery.com
Cleanserate.com
secretofdiets.com
emilysdietsecrets.com
HaileysWeightLoss.com
alisasweightloss.com
8weekslose30lbs.com
rateweightlossproducts.com
tracysweightloss.com
nadiasweightloss.com
nichollesweightloss.com
melorasweightloss.com
melissasdiet.com
reneesweightloss.com
tryskinny.comericasweightloss.com
monicasdiet.com
urlsplit.com
ColonReview.com
m231g.mikegeary1.hop.clickbank.net
FatLossJournal.com
judyslbs.com
judysweightlossjourney.com
wuyiweightlosstea.org
BridgetsWeightLoss.com
myalli.com
holistichealthstudio.com
aliciasweightloss.com
2cpa.com
samarasweightloss.com
jillsnewbody.com
rachaelraygoodies.com
buy-it-now-online.net
jillsdietstory.com
aleshasdietblog.com
miraclenoodle.com
jennysdietsuccessstory.com
laurasnewbody.com
y.celebsecretdiet.com
rachaelraydiet.com
emilysweightlossblog.com
my-weight-loss-review.net
maryweightlossblog.com
sarasnewbody.com
sophiasweightloss.com
hopesdiet.come
lisasweightlossblog.com
reneesweightloss.com

And dudes, that’s only a FRACTION of all the domain names that Greedy Scum Whoring Bitch Boy of Satan had been registering, and I’m sure he adds several hundred more domains a day just to ensure his ads can never be blocked by domain filtering alone.  As if that weren’t enough, I noticed on ADSDAQ that some of the domains on the blacklist were STILL getting through.  Somehow Greedy Scum Whoring Bitch Boy of Satan had found a way to bypass the filtering system altogether by using a redirect to hide his actual domains.

Honestly,  there’s no pit in hell deep enough for this affiliate marketing terrorist.  Imagine the most heinous form of perpetual torture that could ever be inflicted on the minds and bodies of men, and multiply that by infinity times infinity, and still it’d be too good for whoever this crap sucking affiliate whoring schmuck monkey is.

I emailed ADSDAQ several times to let them know that this guy was defeating their filtering system, and they responded by simply giving me another list of domains to block, but will not do anything about the ads themselves.  Brilliant.  These networks will take money from Hitler so long as it helps them stay in business.  Nice to know you care so much about quality, eh ContextWeb?

And don’t even get me started on contextual link ads from networks like Infolinks and Kontera.  I’ve had ads for gambling, cigarette smoking, scams, ponzi schemes, (and my personal favorite: dating sites for married people) all show up after the fact on my blog, and these particular in-text networks provide NO means whatsoever for me to preview these ads and effectively block them.  Just lame and utterly absurd keyword filtering that I have to request by EMAIL, all of which can be easily defeated by a savvy spammer such as Greedy Scum Whoring Bitch Boy of Satan.

In the end, the only option I had to keep those ugly ass flabby skin ads (and all the other crap ads) off my site permanently was to drop the networks that didn’t give me full editorial control over the ads that might show up.  I had to drop three networks to accomplish this (including Chitika, which also only allows filtering by domain names), and my earning power as a result was cut by more than half.  Under these new conditions, there’s no way I can earn a decent income through my blog now.

Such a nice world we live in, where scammers can run rampant and free across so many major advertising networks, crowding out quality advertisers who actually care about their branding reputation and crippling the earning potential of publishers everywhere who likewise care about their own credibility and integrity.

So here’s to your success, Mr. Affiliate Marketing Greedy Scum Whoring Bitch Boy of Satan.  May you and all those like you someday be hit by a speeding Japanese bullet train twice over, and may all the remains of your carcasses be food for disease riddled condors.



A Blah of a Week

Lincoln Adams | January 13, 2009 @ 8:50 pm

It’s amazing how a few ailments such as an ear infection, a jaw ache, and a few other unpleasantries can vacu-suck out the incentive to do anything but crawl into bed and cry into my pillow girlfriend’s cottonly lump until I fall asleep.

Until of course, my blog suddenly decided to crap all over itself.  You probably hadn’t noticed since it was all happening in the backend, but there was also a significant deterioration in load times as well.

It got to the point where I’ve finally become fed up with my blog’s slow response time.  I don’t want a blog that takes 10 seconds to load.  I want it to load as instantaneously as Google’s home page does, and without having to sacrifice any of my beloved plugins to make it happen either.  :tongue:

So I spent last weekend not only working the backend of my blog to fix the problems, but also on optimizing all the ad space I could possibly squeeze out of my blog.  For whatever reason I felt compelled to check off all the projects I wanted to do to completely monetize the site, and I’m happy to announce that it’s all finished.  The only thing left on the plate is to apply for two more advertising networks once I have enough traffic to qualify.

With all that out of the way now, it is time for my beloved blog to finally move out and find itself a better home.  I found a potential VPS hosting service with high marks for support and server performance that may suit me perfectly, including a very high ceiling for growth.  Unfortunately it also means my once $10 a month deal to host my site will now cost me $60 a month, but since I already make roughly $100 a month now in blog earnings, I’m going to consider this a small investment that will significantly boost the site’s performance and appropriately prepare it for a larger audience (if it ever comes).

I may start the migration as early as tomorrow, so blogging will be light for the next few days until the migration is complete.  Hopefully by this weekend I’ll be happily sipping on hot chocolate while surfing my blog and admiring my newly juiced up server. :D



Mr. Wonderful Tries Project Wonderful

Lincoln Adams | January 14, 2008 @ 6:09 pm

Been busy having fun with an advertising network called Project Wonderful, the first time I came across an auction-based network where you bid for advertising space on websites.

What I really liked about it was the fact that you can bid to place your ad on a site for as little as a few hours to however long you wish. It’s a great way to test participating websites to see which ones bring you the most traffic without having to spend a lot of money to do so. Usually you’d have to pay for an ad on a monthly basis, but even if an ad typically cost say, $250 a month, that only comes out to about $8 a day. Suddenly it’s not so obscenely expensive anymore to get your ad on a high traffic website, even if it’s just for a day. In fact I was able to successfully bid for space on such a site (which typically drew over 5000 unique visitors a day), all for just 70 cents. Sure it’ll only show for 24 hours, but that’s over 10,000 eyeballs that will see the banner ad to my blog, something that never would have happened otherwise. For 70 cents too, you can’t beat it. :ggrin:

Since I’ve become a publisher as well, you can also bid to have a 125×125 banner ad displayed here (located near the top left sidebar). Currently the price is 30 cents a day (or $9 a month). Go ahead and place a bid! You know you want to… :naughty:

The only few things I didn’t like about Project Wonderful was that the interface was a little cumbersome to use, and there’s a somewhat steep learning curve to figure out how the system works. Another thing to consider is that if you’re currently running an ad and somebody outbids you, your ad gets slapped away and the new top bidder’s ad takes your place. You can of course try to outbid the bastard who took your spot though, if you’re so inclined. :D

Once you get the hang of it all, it’s actually pretty fun to use. Hopefully it’ll bring me a nice and steady chunk of change, money I can use to continue promoting my blog. :up: