Social Networking May Cause Dementia, Diseases, and an Irrational Fear of Kittens
Lincoln Adams | March 3, 2009 @ 10:15 amI recently caught this article on the BBC:
People’s health could be harmed by social networking sites because they reduce levels of face-to-face contact, an expert claims.
A lack of “real” social networking, involving personal interaction, may have biological effects, he suggests.
He also says that evidence suggests that a lack of face-to-face networking could alter the way genes work, upset immune responses, hormone levels, the function of arteries, and influence mental performance.
This, he claims, could increase the risk of health problems as serious as cancer, strokes, heart disease, and dementia.
“One of the most pronounced changes in the daily habits of British citizens is a reduction in the number of minutes per day that they interact with another human being,” he said.
“In less than two decades, the number of people saying there is no-one with whom they discuss important matters nearly tripled.”
Could be sensationalism sparked by psychologists looking for a little time in the spotlight, but in a way I agree with some of the opinions beng expressed here.
As much as I enjoy using the Internet, I find it to be a highly unsatisfying substitute for real life relationships, and if I had a choice, I would much rather meet people in person and forge relationships that way. Yet the reason I hang out on here all the time (instead of “out there”) is because I basically have no choice.
If you’ve read the comments after the BBC article, notice how many people with disabilities defended their use of social networking, and for good reason. The Internet takes away the bias and the barriers those of us with disabilities have to confront and deal with in real life. In my case it’s being hard of hearing, the kind that puts me right in the gray area between those who hear normally and those who are completely deaf. The deaf have their own culture and community, one that I can never fit into because I can still hear with the help of aids, and yet I can’t hear well enough to fit in within a society that hears normally either. I’m caught somewhere in the middle, without a true community of my own. As if that weren’t enough by itself, I’ve also lived the kind of unorthodox life that absolutely nobody could possibly relate to. It’s one of the major reasons why I remain single too.
So, I go to the Internet. Because on here, I don’t have to worry about embarrassing myself because I missed bits and pieces of a conversation. I don’t have to worry about people forming misconceptions about me because of my disability or my background, or assuming because I can’t hear it must also mean I’m brain damaged as well. On the Internet, none of those things matter.
But I also see where it falls depressingly short too. Those who use the Internet to supplement their already active social lives have no time for me. I’m unable to bond with them and others in any meaningful way. I can be reached via email, instant messaging, social networks and even through my blog here, and yet most of the time I find myself twiddling my thumbs, waiting for somebody, ANYBODY, to talk to me. The hours are long and lonely in between.
And as much as I try to project the full spectrum of my personality into my writings, the Internet can only present certain bits of pieces of who I am, but never the whole. People who know me through the Internet don’t really know me as I truly am. Here’s a hint too: if you find me to be a truly likable person, then you really haven’t gotten to know me at all. 
Truth be told, I find the only people I can truly relate to to via this medium are those who are forced to use it as a subsitute for real life relationships themselves. Whether it’s because of a disability, or from living in a remote area, or from leading a solitary life that stunted their ability to network and bond with others, being online has become our only recourse to connect with other human beings. And yet it amazes me how few there are of us, as opposed to those extroverted types who project their already successful social lives onto the Internet (and then feel the compelling need to rub it in our faces too.) Dweebs.
And now, after having been online for so many years, I’m beginning to accept the sad conclusion that I will never find anyone I can truly bond with, a best friend who would always have time for me and vice versa, or a wonderful girl who would understand me through and through and where I’ve been. People who totally get me. I’m of the introverted sort who only needs one best friend and one special girl to be truly content, or perhaps those two rolled into one. I don’t need to have eons of acquaintances or casual friends to feel connected and feel like I belong. But the fact that I can’t even find ONE saddens me to no end. And I wouldn’t be surprised if all this really did adversely affect my health too just as the article claims. Oh well.
Oh and if you’re wondering about what might cause the irrational fear of kittens, look no further than LOLcats. I swear that mindless, idiotic internet fad is going to bring about the demise of civilization, mark my words. I can never look at a kitten the same way again.
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Tags: community, deaf, disabilities, disability, friend, friends, health, health problems, hearing, internet, life, lonely, network, online, people, personality, psychologists, relationship, single, social, social networking, social networking sites, social networks
Categories: Romance and Relationships
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11 Responses to “Social Networking May Cause Dementia, Diseases, and an Irrational Fear of Kittens”
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Hey Linc, are you pretty active at your church? If you go to one of the larger ones and get involved in volunteering at what you like & do best, there will be a small group right there, of people you can relate to, on several levels at least. I suppose you’ve thought of that already, but?? Some people say they feel lost in a mega church, but the advantage is the number of ministry possibilities.
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Firstly, thanks for the follow on twitter – i will return the favour.
Secondly, in reference to your post… there are so many thoughts i have relating to your post that i will list them:
1) I like your writing style – internal dialogue, which seems honest.
2) I understand many of your comments about finding people you really connect with, however,
3) I once read that friends come in and out of your life for various reasons. Some are long term, some are short term. Those who are short term aren’t necessarily less worthy or unimportant. Everyone will have a different impact on you, and in a genuine friendship, help to you grow in whatever way, and in turn you will also help them grow. even if they aren’t a real friend, you should no doubt grow from the experience anyway.
4) I think it’s important to have lots of friends, some who you speak/interact with often and those infrequently… Some friends you need when you’re down, some you need when you want to be silly, some when you need advice, distraction or whatever. It’s something i am trying to teach my five year old – that if you only have one friend, they might not be able to be there for you everytime you need them. It’s certainly not a popularity contest, but being resourceful.
5) I don’t think you can meet that one person/soul mate until you’ve become whole yourself. So if there are things that when you are completely honest with yourself, that you’d like to change/achieve or even get rid of… make them happen. Then when you least expect it… that person you seek might enter your world in an unexpected way.
6) I really hope i don’t develop a fear of kittens… we’re about to get one!
I hope these thoughts are useful.
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@Claudia: I’m not a fan of mega churches even though they would naturally have a large diversity of ministries to get involved in. There’s something about the climate and atmosphere regarding such churches that always puts me ill at ease, and as much as I try to suppress these feelings, I begin to feel so overwhelmingly out of place that I just leave. It’s a hard thing for anyone to understand. Still, volunteering is a great idea, and I’m hoping soon I can get involved in a worthwhile project where I can help people on a more regular basis.
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@Claire: Yeah, I understand the degree and nature of friendships will always depend on the person and circumstances, but sometimes I just feel lost on how to connect with people and what I should expect in return. Some people are just gifted at networking or it comes naturally to them, and they’re not overly concerned about whether some relationships are shallow or not, because they know that’s life. I’m just not that guy. I wear my heart on my sleeve, where even a passing remark can affect me profoundly, and I can see how it impacts my social life too. I guess it’s part of being an introvert.
Definitely right about not being whole though. When I think about that special girl, I don’t want her to be with someone who merely has the potential to be her “perfect” love, but someone who already is.
I don’t think you’ll have to worry about fearing your kittens. Besides I’m a dog person, so my opinions are already skewered.
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You reminded me of a visit we made to see my grand aunt for her 90th birthday a few years back. She would constantly be asking who you were and wanting you to repeat things for her. Her children would look at me with raised eybrows and whisper that she wasn’t doing to well mentally.
I looked at her and thought, she can’t hear well or see well, so she needs to have things repeated and can’t tell from looking at you who you are(macular degeneration) and her children all think she’s suffering from dementia because she asks for the information she doesn’t have. Her comments were always on topic and pretty sharp, but her children refused to recognize that the only problem she was having wasn’t with dementia but with her physical limitations. It made me sad for her. So, speak up and remind people that you have trouble hearing. They’ll get it if you remind them enough times. Get folks in the habit of recognizing your hearing limitations now, cause they won’t listen when your old.
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@Mom: Thanks for the suggestions.
My experience is that people tend to disregard my requests because at times, it’s understandably too much to ask. Sometimes the only way I can understand someone is when they speak very slowly and emphasis every word. It’s simply not constructive to be doing this ALL the time, so I only luck out if I only miss an occasional phrase here and there and don’t disrupt the flow of the conversation too badly. There were times when I would ask someone to repeat themselves and get flat out ignored, and pretty much shut out of the conversation as a result too. I’m simply amazed at how much this has happened to me over a lifetime, and it’s part of why I’ve become anti-social, sometimes wishing humanity would be dropped in a vat of boiling oil. 
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Lincoln…
One of my readers sent me a link to your site; I like your take on things.
She suggested I extend an invitation to explore a new community I’ve created at http://www.dailytol.com
Given the concatenation of your pseudo nom, my guess is that you’d enjoy the content.
On a selfish note, I like that tag cloud widget you’re using more than mine…care to share
pax,
Tol
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Wow, I know exactly what you mean. It’s the kind of thing people generally don’t understand unless they’ve been there. I don’t get out a lot because of my own health problems . . . something neurological. In one sense I’m lucky because my disease is invisible to people who don’t know what I used to be like, but that also makes it more lonely. And I have the same issues with church, too. Know what it’s like to not quite fit anywhere. And a colorful background. Thank goodness for the internet.
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My disability is invisible in a sense as well. It’s not patently obvious, which is good and bad in a way.
Glad you found my blog.
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Tol, sorry for the delay in response, for some reason your comment wound up in my spam folder.
My tag cloud is powered by Simple Tags, a behemoth of a WordPress plugin though, so use with caution.
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Your not so disgruntled that you have given up all together have you?
It’s never easy to live and learn; I landed 50/50 on the introvert/extrovert test [which made the teacher make odd head movements and a crinkled face], sometimes it takes going out ‘there’ to find folks you can share good humor or decent conversation with.
The tough part is learning more about people… it’s not a perfect world in here or out there; being a conversationalist is tricky. One needs to be a good listener and having patience is golden.
The hardest part is remaining interested in people and their stories (too).
The volunteering bit is a fantastic idea; I’ve been doing that and it’s not to meet someone for potential involvement. It’s that general comradery and bonding that with or without having a relationship is essential in being able to share a common mission, or more simply a simple unspoken common bond.
Of the lessons I’ve learned, I’d much rather have a relationship that words spoken are not as important as silent comfort. Speech really is overrated …
Care to comment?
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