Ranting at Panera Bread

Well I’m at Panera Bread, thinking that by having an nice Panini sandwich and watching the bustling of people around me, it would put me in a mellow enough mood to blog something up.

All I’m seeing now though is a bunch of ugly looking people who bother me just by being ugly, couples who bother me because they’re couples and have to make a point of showing the whole world that they’re couples (hold on while I go outside to let the air of the tires of said couple’s car… yeah, let’s see how manly you are now for having a girlfriend when you have to call AAA. Ha-Ha!)

Then there’s the schmuckaroos that stare at me like I just landed from Mars. Yes I have a laptop, which means I probably have more money than you. Yes, I’m by myself, which just means I was smart enough to stay single. What the f__ is it to you? Staring is rude, so knock it off before I decide to cram that Asiago Roast Beef sandwich you’re sucking on down your douche hole.

I know some people might interpret my behavior here as being antisocial, but that’s not true. I just hate people, is all. They’re rude, obnoxious, mean, and they smell bad. In other words, they remind me of me. :-D

But you know what the worst thing about all this is? Panera Bread took Crispanis off the menu. Bastards!!!!

I’m outta here.


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8 Responses to Ranting at Panera Bread
  1. Conservative Belle
    September 21, 2008 | 10:46 pm

    I think you are missing the bigger picture here. You HAVE a Panera Bread there. I don’t have one here.

    They looked at you like you were from Mars? Haven’t you learned yet not to wear those antenna in public places?

  2. Lincoln Adams
    September 21, 2008 | 10:51 pm

    @Conservative Belle: Careful woman, my antennas shoot out lightning bolts. Best not to get snarky with me.

  3. Conservative Belle
    September 21, 2008 | 11:33 pm

    You will take my heaping spoonful of snark and you will love it and beg for more.

    I was Wonder Woman in another life. If I can deflect bullets with my bracelets, your lightning bolts are no match, Mister.

  4. Lincoln Adams
    September 22, 2008 | 12:08 am

    Wonder Woman?

  5. ConsrvYank1
    September 22, 2008 | 10:57 am

    Wonder Woman?

    Yeah Linc, don’t you remember when you told me “I wonder about Conservative Belle?”

    j/k CB, j/k

  6. Conservative Belle
    September 22, 2008 | 12:14 pm

    @ConsrvYank1

    Well, I did say another life. In this life I am a slug, a slug without a Panera Bread or a Cheesecake Factory in my redneck state.

    This seems much more despairing than schmuckaroos that stare at you in an actual Panera Bread.

  7. Lincoln Adams
    September 22, 2008 | 12:14 pm

    @ConsrvYank1: Ixnay on our hat-cay about Elle-bay.

  8. Lincoln Adams
    September 22, 2008 | 12:21 pm

    Not having a Cheesecake Factory nearby isn’t so bad. Not having a Sonic OR a Dairy Queen OR a Red Robin? Well that’s just a crime against humanity.

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