Ranting at Panera Bread
Lincoln Adams | September 21, 2008 @ 7:14 pmWell I’m at Panera Bread, thinking that by having an nice Panini sandwich and watching the bustling of people around me, it would put me in a mellow enough mood to blog something up.
All I’m seeing now though is a bunch of ugly looking people who bother me just by being ugly, couples who bother me because they’re couples and have to make a point of showing the whole world that they’re couples (hold on while I go outside to let the air of the tires of said couple’s car… yeah, let’s see how manly you are now for having a girlfriend when you have to call AAA. Ha-Ha!)
Then there’s the schmuckaroos that stare at me like I just landed from Mars. Yes I have a laptop, which means I probably have more money than you. Yes, I’m by myself, which just means I was smart enough to stay single. What the f__ is it to you? Staring is rude, so knock it off before I decide to cram that Asiago Roast Beef sandwich you’re sucking on down your douche hole.
I know some people might interpret my behavior here as being antisocial, but that’s not true. I just hate people, is all. They’re rude, obnoxious, mean, and they smell bad. In other words, they remind me of me. 
But you know what the worst thing about all this is? Panera Bread took Crispanis off the menu. Bastards!!!! 
I’m outta here.
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Tags: blog, couples, laptop, panera bread, rant
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
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8 Responses to “Ranting at Panera Bread”
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I think you are missing the bigger picture here. You HAVE a Panera Bread there. I don’t have one here.
They looked at you like you were from Mars? Haven’t you learned yet not to wear those antenna in public places?
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@Conservative Belle: Careful woman, my antennas shoot out lightning bolts. Best not to get snarky with me.
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You will take my heaping spoonful of snark and you will love it and beg for more.
I was Wonder Woman in another life. If I can deflect bullets with my bracelets, your lightning bolts are no match, Mister.
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Wonder Woman?
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Yeah Linc, don’t you remember when you told me “I wonder about Conservative Belle?”
j/k CB, j/k
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@ConsrvYank1
Well, I did say another life. In this life I am a slug, a slug without a Panera Bread or a Cheesecake Factory in my redneck state.
This seems much more despairing than schmuckaroos that stare at you in an actual Panera Bread.
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@ConsrvYank1: Ixnay on our hat-cay about Elle-bay.
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Not having a Cheesecake Factory nearby isn’t so bad. Not having a Sonic OR a Dairy Queen OR a Red Robin? Well that’s just a crime against humanity.
Care to comment?
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