You know the commercial. Always when I’m eating too, this stupid ad for Valtrex comes on where some ugly schmo confesses to the world that he has genital herpes, flanked by a gorgeous girl who looks on with lovey dovey eyes and then turns to the camera to Continue Reading…

To the visitor who found my blog using the search term:

“my girlfriend stays out till 4am”

Newsflash: Your girlfriend dumped you. You just don’t know it yet, and apparently your mind must be so hazy that you’ve had to resort to doing a Google search just to figure Continue Reading…

You know that saying where young girls are “sugar and spice and everything nice?”
Complete load of crap.
Of course I’ve known this to be true ever since my 12 year old bootingtocks would get chased home by a gang of cheerleaders each and every day after school. Let me Continue Reading…

A visitor to my blog sent this email:

Name: kunki

Message: I want to learn how to make money. Thank you

My response:

Dear kunki,

Get a job.

Warmest regards,
Lincoln

P.S. That advice didn’t come free. Please send me $10 payment via Paypal or I will send green monkeys after you.

I am a square peg trying to fit into the circle that is life.

At least that’s been my feeling lately. I’ve always had an eclectic personality that precluded me from being able to fit in anywhere, whether it was a church, a social club, or any kind of Continue Reading…

…if I were an Anime cartoon? Evil Woobie had been pestering me to make an accurate Anime avatar of myself using this avatar making tool, and as much as I HATE Anime (I mean truly, unequivocally HATE it), I finally relented and went to work. Continue Reading…

Claire Bear (oops make that Dr. Claire Bear) tagged me with a meme (which longtime readers know is usually a sure prelude to much violence, ranting and whining on my part), BUT… I’ll give her a pass her since it’s a musical meme, which is right down my alley Continue Reading…