Nothing says happiness like a warm gun =)

Today a coworker of mine took me to the firing range so I could learn how to shoot me a few guns. Yep, as violent as I make myself out to be on this blog sometimes, the truth is, I’ve never actually used a firearm before.

Until today.

The guy brought along a hefty arsenal too: a 30 odd 6 rifle, a 357 Police Special, a Sig Sauer, a Beretta, and finally a weenie 22 Browning Buckmark.

Before I could get started he decided to have a little fun with the rifle. He gears up and fires the first shot, and for a second I thought somebody had bombed the place.

“HOLY #%&^!!!”

“Yes, it does get that loud, Linc. Calm down already.”

After he fired a few shots, he took out his firearms and began teaching me the basics. I finally settled on trying out the Beretta, a 9mm I’ve always loved the shape of ever since I was a wee little one. All the water pistols I used to play with had been shaped like the Beretta too. I’m not sure why though, something about how it looked and felt just appealed to me.

It was finally time for me to lock and load. I put in a clip and pulled back on the slide, looking away and closing my eyes while I did it because I was afraid the thing might somehow accidentally explode on me.

“You’re embarrassing me, Linc.”

“Don’t annoy me when I’m holding a gun here. Especially when I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”

The Beretta was finally cocked and ready. “Ok, so I just shoot now?”

“Yep, just go ahead and shoot.”

The target was only 10 yards out. “Hmmmm, seems a little close, how about I move it back another ten yards?”

“20 yards?? For your first time? I would start out close, but hey, if you wanna do that knock yourself out,” he chuckled.

I whistled as I cranked the handle to move the target back another 10 yards (a la Riggs from Lethal Weapon), then carefully took aim. I squeezed the trigger all the way and the Beretta exploded. I never saw the shell eject either, it all happened so fast.

Whoa…

I carefully took aim again and got more comfortable as I kept firing. The Beretta was powerful, but it wasn’t overwhelming me like I thought it would. In fact the gun felt pretty comfortable in my hand. In a way it was love at first shot.

I finished going through all 15 rounds, and my coworker immediately starts cranking the handle to bring back the target sheet.

“Are you #$%^ing kidding me?” he said in disbelief.

I looked at it. It was a tight grouping that had mostly hit the upper torso, including one bullet that had hit the target’s eye.

“You sure you’ve never fired a gun before?” He gave me a suspicious look.

“Never fired a gun in my entire life.”

“Well $%*& man, you’re a natural.”

Hee. :-D

I tried out the other firearms as well, though I quickly realized the Beretta was “my” gun. I couldn’t even shoot as accurately with the pea shooter Buckmark as I did with the Beretta. And the 357 Police Special? Mother. I shot it once and that was more than enough for me. I don’t think even the Space Shuttle had that much kick, and yeah I understand it has great stopping power, but I think that only applies if you can actually manage to hit the target first, doncha think? I don’t even know how off I had been with that shot because it never hit the practice sheet.

But the Beretta… ahhh the Beretta, the true love that I’ve been waiting for all my life. At long last I think I’ve finally found something to keep me warm during those dark, cold, lonely nights. :-D

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