Is it September yet?

Written by Lincoln Adams on August 27, 2008 | 5 Comments
Filed Under: Personal Reflections

*Yawn*

I’m having a boring week here, which translates into having nothing to write about on my blog, which translates into my life sucks and I just wanna die, wah wah wah, I want my Mommy.

I am SO glad summer’s just about over though. Unlike normal people, I hate summer. LOATHE it in fact. It brings me nothing but sheer, excruciating heat, and sheer, excruciating humidity. I can’t wear my super cool looking clothes and jackets either, because nature precludes me from donning clothing meant for fall and winter climates when it’s 90 degrees out. All I can do is throw on a boring shirt and shorts and walk around looking like a dweeb, while my feet melt in stylish, yet toast oven hot sneakers because I absolutely refuse, REFUSE to wear flip-flops or sandals, all of which are utterly unworthy of being grouped in the same class as shoes. I don’t know why, I just hate those things. There’s just something about hearing the flap flap flappity flippity flop of a flip-flop that makes me burn with murderous rage.

Yes I know, I have issues. Bite me.

Fortunately though, as the heat starts to wane, I start to mellow out a bit. Once Labor Day comes around I start coming out of my summer fog like a bear out of hibernation, when it finally sinks in that the worst has past, and things will once again start looking up from here. The weather gets cooler, the air gets more crisp, the holidays get more frequent, and the leaves turn more brilliant as we get closer to autumn, by far my favorite season of all time.

But I think what really sells it for me is how quietly empty the streets become, signaling that ever celebrated event when snot-nosed vile little monkey turds that society calls children finally go back to school again.

Ahhhhh, September, how I missed thee.