I’m alive… barely

I’ve been as busy as a beaver lately, but now that I’ve set aside a few minutes to blog here, I can’t remember what I did five minutes ago, let alone what I’ve been doing for the past week. My head’s in a fog, I’m chronically tired, and the whole world seems hell bent on working my very last nerve.

So, what to write about? Well, I’m here at my desk at work, munching on some chicken fingers and using toilet paper as makeshift napkins. The Eagles are playing off my laptop, and I’m just sitting here, wondering about my life, and what it’s become.

*cruuuunch* Mmmmm, good chicken…

Fridays at work always seems to be a bittersweet day for me. On one hand I have the office to myself, I can relax and surf the Internet or watch TV. Sometimes I’ll order in some pizza and garlic rolls, then chow down while I check my email and blogging stats.

But it’s also a day when the reality of how lonely my existence has become really sets in. While everyone else is making plans for a fun night out with their loved ones and friends, I just sit here at work, with only a lukewarm pizza slice and a dead cell phone to keep me company.

I can’t help but wonder if I’ve finally managed to dig a hole deep enough that escaping it has now become utterly impossible. This seems to be my lot in life, as it has been for the past seven or more years. Nothing has changed, and nothing will ever change. It seems the only thing left for me to do is resign myself to my fate, and hope something like cancer will finish me off early.

What a waste of human flesh I’ve become.

Tags: beaver, blogging, cell phone, chicken fingers, chow, death, depression, eagles, fate, five minutes, fog, friday nights, Fridays, garlic, job, last nerve, life, loneliness, napkins, regrets, toilet paper
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log

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15 Responses to “I’m alive… barely”

CaseyC wrote a comment on August 18, 2007 @ 10:44:am
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When I get back to the US you can hang out with me. :dance: :banana:

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on August 18, 2007 @ 11:43:am
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LOL, that sounds like fun. Who knows, maybe you can find me a woman too.

jjjen wrote a comment on August 18, 2007 @ 12:23:pm
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http://www.1-800-volunteer.org.....xAction.do

Go help someone….it will make you feel better.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on August 18, 2007 @ 12:49:pm
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I would if I had the energy. :sick: I may have to get a blood workup done so I can finally found out what’s wrong with me.

bradmc wrote a comment on August 20, 2007 @ 01:49:pm
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heheeh well I am wasting away. so we are on the same road I guess.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on August 21, 2007 @ 10:08:pm
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I hope I at least enjoy the love of a good woman before I waste away completely though. :naughty:

Jesse wrote a comment on August 26, 2007 @ 04:22:am
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Hello, this is my first visit to your blog, let me tell you, your last post would sound really pathetic if it wasnt written in such a hilarious way ! Yes, your painful look at the current state of your life touched my heart, but it also had me rolling with laughter ! I think I can relate to your state of being totally lacking in energy, I have felt like that, on and off, for years and no doctors or specialists I went to can find a reason, so I have to live with it.I do find that the times I am totally wthout energy is when I have to do chores or some other yukky thing…oh gosh, then I am drained.But if its something I enjoy doing, I feel a lot better.And let me tell you, just because you dont have any friends or go out on a weekend does not make you a ‘waste of human flesh’…it simply makes you a person who stays home a lot, nothing wrong with that.Being alone can be good, you can choose when to get up, what to eat and what dvd to watch. Great blog, by the way..Keep it up !

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on August 26, 2007 @ 11:52:am
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Hi Jesse, thanks for your kind words. Yeah the whole point is to put a hilarious spin on my otherwise really sad life, so I’m glad you picked up on that. I haven’t blogged in over a week though, so I better get cracking soon lest Google think my joint here is just another “dead blog.” :egads:

Jesse wrote a comment on August 26, 2007 @ 12:01:pm
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I cannot wait to read your new post..oh, and I dont think you have to worry about google thinking your blog is dead, ha..as long as You are alive !!

Lolz , in your own time, of course ! ps. garlic rolls and Pizza are my absolute favourite snack,yummy,can never get enough of them.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on August 26, 2007 @ 12:19:pm
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LOL, garlic breads and pizzas are my ideal snacks too, just the treat to have before dinner.

Jesse wrote a comment on August 26, 2007 @ 12:34:pm
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before Dinner??? hey, I see that with all that eating going on, you need not worry about wasting away … that may never happen! Sheeez, and here I was worryin about you ! ))