“I Have Genital Herpes…”

You know the commercial. Always when I’m eating too, this stupid ad for Valtrex comes on where some ugly schmo confesses to the world that he has genital herpes, flanked by a gorgeous girl who looks on with lovey dovey eyes and then turns to the camera to inform us that she doesn’t.

“And together, we’re trying to keep it that way.” She then wraps her arms around him in a show of warmth and wubs.

I have a message for the girl: dump Herpo-man and dial me up. There’s no need to roll around in the hay with a disease-riddled dweeb when you can get some fresh, wholesome, whistle-clean loving from a guy like me. :angelgrin: Really, why would you want to stick long-term with a bum who has now medically proven to us all what a promiscious man whore he is? This is somebody you want to spend the rest of your life with? What’s next, adopting a pet dog with rabies?

So really, drop this silliness and come cuddle up with me. I’ve had my shots, a clean bill of health, and all the love you will ever need.

Tags: commercial, couple, funny, genital herpes, humor
Categories: Comic Relief

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15 Responses to ““I Have Genital Herpes…””

ConsrvYank1 wrote a comment on April 13, 2008 @ 09:00:pm
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Linc, I know you meant for this to be funny, and it was, but there is a lot of truth in what you are saying. Sad state of affairs, isn’t it.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on April 14, 2008 @ 12:07:am
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I don’t know why, but I’m always taking this kind of thing personally. I see a girl stay with a guy who smacks her around, or runs a brothel out his garage, or moonlights as a hitman for the Russian mafia, and I think, “She’d rather be with a guy like that than with me?” :wall:

Women. :nyah:

Casey wrote a comment on April 14, 2008 @ 09:46:am
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Well…has this mistreated woman ever met you? Perhaps you should introduce yourself.

ConsrvYank1 wrote a comment on April 14, 2008 @ 12:37:pm
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I don’t know why, but I’m always taking this kind of thing personally. I see a girl stay with a guy who smacks her around, or runs a brothel out his garage, or moonlights as a hitman for the Russian mafia, and I think, “She’d rather be with a guy like that than with me?”
 

Women.

All that would indiicate is that there is something wrong with the woman, not you.

Cheryl wrote a comment on April 14, 2008 @ 05:11:pm
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You tell it like it is!

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on April 14, 2008 @ 05:38:pm
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All that would indicate is that there is something wrong with the woman, not you.

I dunno, maybe I am just so utterly grotesque and repulsive that no woman, no matter how pure her heart, could ever love me. :flush:

Sorry for being so gloomy. Mondays always gets me down. :sick:

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on April 14, 2008 @ 05:39:pm
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@Cheryl: And as tactlessly as I can too.

ConsrvYank1 wrote a comment on April 15, 2008 @ 01:48:pm
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Hey! :wife:

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on April 15, 2008 @ 03:56:pm
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Hey!

What I say? :whistle:

:ggrin:

Casey wrote a comment on April 15, 2008 @ 05:10:pm
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So…you’re wanting to cuddle up with a chick who has possibly contracted a communicable venerial disease? Linky

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on April 15, 2008 @ 05:17:pm
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ConsrvYank1 wrote a comment on April 16, 2008 @ 02:02:pm
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What I say?

I screwed this up royally, now I suppose I will have to expain. Oy vay iz mir. :pullhair:

Anyway I had said “All that would indicate is that something is wrong with the woman, not you.” Then Cheryl writes “you tell it like it is.” Now I assumed (perhaps wrongly) that Cheryl was talking to me. Then you pipe in and say to Cheryl “And as tactlessly as I can too.” But I didn’t have my glasses on and I read it as “And as tactlessly as she (meaning me) can too.” Thus the :wife: But I take it back.

Today TWICE I drove into oncoming traffic with people honking at me. I am tired, I am going to bed.