Last Christmas I received a lovely miniature Christmas tree to hang my decorations on, and I decided then and there that my wittle tree would also be known as the Tree of Hope:
…I thought to myself, “I will continue to take care of this tree until I meet the girl of my dreams, and perhaps even beyond. This will be our future, special tree.” So as long as the tree lives on, my hope lives on…
Well…
Suffice it to say, I don’t think yellow is a good color for an evergreen tree to have. I watered it, gave it plant food, made sure it always had enough light, but the fricking thing was determined to die on me, almost like it had heard me when I declared it to be the Tree of Hope my future honey snuggles would someday hang ornaments on, so it decided to spite my ass by committing suicide.
Though it’s not like it really needed the help. With each failed attempt to connect with the opposite gender since that time I could tell my tree was getting a little browner. The depths of evil to which evil women go (because they’re evil) was simply too much for my wittle Tree of Hope to handle.
Eventually I decided to take it to work hoping the nuclear powered fluorescent lights over my desk would breathe some life into my poor, wittle tree. For all I know it could have, but the air here was probably more toxic than I’d care to admit, because now it was starting to turn yellow.
Finally I gave up and planted what was left of the Tree of Hope outside in a small garden area. After I finished planting it I threw my hands up and said, “Well Lord, I tried. Now it’s all up to You.”
My guess is that it’ll be torn out by the maintenance crew and dumped into the trash by week’s end, which is pretty much how I think I’ll be going too when it’s my time to check out.
Ah well. It was nice to dream for a while.
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This is old, but OMG I laughed so hard reading this one.
You are a special one Linc, and I feel your pain man. There is nothing wrong with your view of romanticism, the problem lies in the fact that what women want and what they say they want are usually two different things.
My ex said she wanted a loving, caring guy that would never place anything above her…she met some new friends and BAM!
Really!?
lol, but I am a firm believer that there is someone out there for you and one day you will find that person, the problem? You will have to go out and find her. Girls are shy by nature and the girl of your dreams will most likely be shy, chances are you will have to go through many women before you finally stumble upon her. The important thing is to keep yourself open my friend and don’t give up the search! Make sure to take care of yourself and learn to be happy single so that when you do meet her she will want to be with you even more!
You have to be the one that brings joy into her life, not the one looking for her to bring joy into yours. I firmly believe that.
Like I’ve said, chin up, shoulders back and keep on moving forward!
That’s something I never really put together, that a girl worth knowing, humble, modest and shy would by her nature not be outgoing, and thus she would have to be sought out.
BTW, the tree DID in fact get uprooted by maintenance and thrown in the trash, the very next day.
And your ex, what the @*($? Good riddance, really.
Glad I could enlighten you my friend. That girl is out there for you, now go find her!
And really? The maintenance crew couldn’t leave the poor thing alone?
And about my ex, I KNOW RIGHT?
I was like really!? 4 years together and now you want to up and leave for people you’ve known for 2 months? Have fun with that…btw…I’m burning the bridge down so if the grass isn’t greener on the other side you are flat out of luck.
Maybe she’s bicurious and wants to go “experimenting” with her friends. God knows that’s been all the rage these days. Yep, I think I’m good here, free and single.
[...] in a dinky apartment, shut up already.) My previous tree was a live one, which I also labeled the Tree of Hope, praying it would last long enough for the girl of my dreams to someday put an ornament on it. Died [...]