Hey! That’s what I said I was going to do! LOL

I tried eCrapimony once for about a month (never paid for it), and dumped it. Forever.

Well now, then you’ll never be part of the 2 percent of marriages that result from eHarmony matches, so nana nana poopie poo!

I found your blog while searching for anything related to hearing loss. IMHO I don’t think potential dates will care so much about your hearing loss, but your very obvious disrespect for women in general is a real deal breaker. You refer to your matches as “ugly”, “hoochie mama of a ho bag” “the theater harlots and the whale mountain man beasts”, “slutty looking trampers” and “slutty babylonian harlots”. Everyone is different and I imagine you are not perfect and certainly not a perfect gentleman.

I do wish you the best in finding a “match”. You will likely be turned away because of your sarcasm, anger and general nasty attitude but not your hearing loss.

Sometimes life deserves a ‘general nasty attitude’… it’s not all fluff balls and doves for everyone. There may be a couple of the 100 or so that didn’t deserve the coincidental tags to their woman hood. But if the shoe fits… whatever; I just had to listen to a friend tell me that his wife of twelve years has decided she doesn’t want to be a mother to their two children or be married anymore-she’s run to her parents many states away and left him… the honeymoon ends at some point and the more responsible of the two must move on; there is not much wrong with ‘calling the kettle black’ right out of the gate … some people just know things and if the general consensus on a ‘performer’ is other than what Mr. Adams is looking for so be it.

I happen to be (just) one who appreciates this bloggers sarcasm … there isn’t really a way to tell if he’d be the kind to open a door for a lady or has manners.

Granted positive thinking helps but you can’t live in a dream; I actually met the man I saw in my dreams- it, in reality turned out to be a nightmare! Talk about a disappointment; And there are not enough derogatory comments to suit any floozy (man or woman) that would get with someone by being on their best behavior to turn around an be a monster, honestly, a money hungry selfish spoiled bossy brat.

Cheers; (how does it go again?) here’s to those who we love and those who love us; and if those who we love don’t love us- $crew them… here’s to us.

Pizza for everyone!

Dear PeppyOne, otherwise known as stupid bitch,

So, you can make that assessment about me based on reading one post? Really? Like it’s a regular habit of mine to bellow out “HO!!!” if I see a skanky looking girl at the entrance to a store somewhere and slam the door in her face rather than hold it for her like a gentleman. You got me all figured it out, doncha’?

Or maybe… after years of treating women with nothing BUT respect only to get my heart repeatedly stomped and trampled on, I feel the need to express my frustration about my mistreatments on my PERSONAL blog. Oh but that can’t be, because you see, it’s NEVER the woman who’s at fault here. They are all angelic creatures as pure as the driven snow and would never pre-judge me based on my hearing loss, or say, by reading a single post of mine on a blog.

But you go pat your back for valiantly trying to put me back in my place, oh whorish one. I’m sure it will make for a lively conversation when you go meet up with the other shriveled up hags down at the hair salon.

Everyone has been through the mill at one time or another. Don’t loose faith.

Play Nice.

Hmmmm….For some reason I’m thinking of motes and beams.

Sorry, mispelled my own name…stupid viruses, making me empty my temp files nearly every day now. A pox on all writers of computer viruses.

E-Harmony is just like any other dating site, and for the most part, they are scams of the first order. Notice how they are willing to extend a discount membership, just to keep you hooked and reeled in. For all the talk about how Neil Clark Warren is fired by higher ideals in starting this site, they seem to have a membership drive as aggressive as any other cult.

I tried E-Harmony for six months, and all I got matched with were people a thousand miles away. When I tried to cancel the membership citing this reason, they magically started matching me with people a lot closer geographically. The whole things smells of hucksterism and misrepresentation. All that and for only $50 a month!

As to the matches themselves, most were at least passable in looks…but then again, I am pretty forgiving in that regard. Yet, like any dating site, the women were largely providng laundry lists of “demands” of their prospective mates, all of them mutually exclusive, and representative of perhaps the top 1-2% of the male population. It never seems to occur to these people that this segment of society does not need an organization like E-Harmony, or Match.com, or indeed any other Procurer sites.

Also, one never truly “resigns” from the service. They keep your profile, your picture, everything regardless of whether or not you keep up the payments or use the service in any way. These are often circulated to subscribers as matches as yet another method of keeping you hopeful…and a paying subscriber.

It’s all a scam. I refuse to use it or any other service of it’s kind. But then again, I have permanently suspended love quests of any kind, given the sick and selfish nature of society.

@Call Me Mom: Duuuuuude, you should have gotten an Apple, and thus enjoy virus free bliss.

@Curiepoint: I love how they tout that 2 percent of marriages in the U.S. now result from eHarmony matches. As much as they claim to use the 29 dimensions, it does seem like my matches are completely random, especially when I read the profiles. I signed up though more as an experiment in human psychology and for blogging fodder than anything else, but once it expires, I’m taking myself on the road and forgetting about all things dating. It’s not worth it.

Hmmm again. Perhaps y’all ought to stop looking at marriage as a quest for “Twoo Wuv” and start looking at it in a more logical and businesslike manner. I seem to recall reading somewhere that arranged marriages have a fairly high success rate. I suspect this is because both parties go into it with a realistic view of the relationship instead of expecting some sort of subjective “fireworks”.
Start with the basics and go from there.
Look for someone with a compatible sense of humor.
Look for someone whose base values are very close to your own.
Look for someone who is kind.
Everything else is extras.
That’s my advice. I’ve been married for 20 years now. Patience, humor and kindness can overcome nearly anything. Look for those qualities first.

Sure, you can go for someone you find pleasant to look at but bear in mind that beauty fades and is not nearly as attractive as the face of someone you know you can trust. Then there is the problem of high maintainence that seems to go along with many conventionally beautiful people-is that worth it to you for a few fleeting years of physical beauty?
True beauty is rarer and often takes time to develop.

Yeah,
The boy has an apple laptop from school-no virus problems with it yet, but it does this funny thing where it just stops working and there’s not a d*rned thing to be done except be glad it belongs to the school instead of us. So far Sophos and Malwarebytes have been doing their job in finding and quarantining them, but I still have to spend a bit of time hunting down and removing the associated files. Knowledge is power -I guess I should be thankful for the experience.

I guess I can believe that arranged marriages are more successful, if you measure success strictly by the longevity of them. Marriages made in this manner have a very different impetus behind them, and thus they don’t succumb to DivorceMania like others do.

But then again, I don’t think it a bad thing to marry for love, and I certainly wouldn’t want to invest my life in something that is devoid of it. I never bought that notion that two strangers forcibly joined together by third parties who have no interest in your happiness, “learn” to love one another. At best, you tolerate each other and just go through the motions of doing what others expect of you. It’s the worst and most blatant form of being led around by your nose.

I think it’s high time marriage be seriously scrutinized to determine it’s efficacy and impact on modern society. I think it a long outmoded institution that needs to go the way of the dinosaur. People today do not have it in them to be faithful, nor to stick to promises they have made. Any man who involves himself this deeply in another person’s life really ought to have his head examined because chances are he will never see the train wreck coming, and will be blind-sided utterly. Odds are, that is the scenario that will play out, given by the sheer numbers of divorces that take place every year.

Lincoln, that was pretty much the same reason I had joined E-Harmony as well. Other dating sites along with this one have only cemented my suspicions into hard, glaring facts.

The problem is not that we are looking in the wrong places, or that we are putting emphasis where it shouldn’t go. The problem is that love like we all imagine it simply doesn’t exist anymore. When someone says “I love you” what they are actually saying is “In this moment, I love you”. Permanent love is obsolete.

@Curiepoint

People today do not have it in them to be faithful

I believe I mentioned I’ve been married for 20 years-no cheating for either of us. We have had other challenges, but as I also mentioned, kindness, sense of humor, shared value systems.

I think it’s high time marriage be seriously scrutinized to determine it’s efficacy and impact on modern society. I think it a long outmoded institution that needs to go the way of the dinosaur.

Marriage has been examined and people in marriages live longer, are healthier and more likely to survive cancer than those who are not. (That’s not even to mention the overall positive affect of marriage on children. )

The reason I mentioned arranged marriages (which are NOT the same as forced marriages) is because their success is generally thought to be a function of the higher levels of tolerance, forgiveness and mutual respect for each other that are usually present in arranged marriages. Love often grows in out of a sense of mutual respect for each other, which is really the basis of a good marriage. But these folks are looking at marriage from an entirely different perspective than most Americans. It’s not about love-it’s about “can I live with this person respectfully and fulfill my part of the marriage contract and do I think they can and will do the same?”
If you are not willing to look past a pretty face, figure and your own emotional reaction to a person, then yes, you’re going to be disappointed. Not because they are not a good person, but because you have allowed the subjective information you have about that person to overrule the collection of the objective information you need to make a reasonable decision. In other words, you haven’t done your homework. Don’t blame the other person for being who they are when you don’t bother to find out who they were before investing your time in them.

Oh, and I highly recommend the Mark Gungor Radio Show for married people of any age and for singles who want guidelines on how to have a reasonably happy marriage once you’ve taken the plunge. This guy is hilarious and pretty close on most stuff. It does contain adult content though.

I prefer not to see marriage as a business transaction, nor do I agree that in order to have a successful marriage I need to give up on the idea of romance. Maybe some people are fine with being in a loveless marriage devoid of snugglies and wubsy woos, but I’m not one of them.

Hey! Snuggles and wubsy woos(?)are part of the duties of a spouse. What better form for romance than one in which you know you will succeed? I’m not saying there’s no romance involved-only that subjective emotional input should not be the basis of your relationship.
I just happen to think that any two reasonable people with substantially similar values systems and a modicum of courtesy can have a romantic and highly successful marriage. All this “soul mate” stuff is nonsense or a clever cover for cold feet.
Although I wouldn’t recommend the rest of this artist’s body of work, this song really states the truth when it says that love grows over time. (Besides it has that lovely twist of the unexpected that most people find humorous.)

Nah…life isn’t longer when you’re married; it only seems longer. A cat that lives outdoors exposed to all sorts of danger will have a shorter life than, say, a cat who is trapped inside the house all the time, forever looking out on a world he can never experience. Given the choice, I would rather opt for quality of life rather than quantity.

You mention being married for 20 years with no cheating; that’s good and I tip my hat to you both. But then again, we are talking about a marriage that happened 20 years ago. Back then, there was at least some social accountability for the choices one makes. That isn’t true today. Incidentally, all these proclamations lately regarding how good marriage is for a person, I believe is just a knee-jerk reaction to all the debate about what constitutes a marriage and what does not. I find it singularly amusing that the only people really fighting for the institution are gay people. The straights couldn’t be bothered because they know what a trap looks like.

Nah…life isn’t longer when you’re married; it only seems longer

No, that’s based on actual statistics.

Back then, there was at least some social accountability for the choices one makes. That isn’t true today.

That’s a cop-out and you know it. Having dealt recently with two couples after there were implications that the spouses had cheated, I can tell you first hand that there are still societal consequences for such behavior.

I find it singularly amusing that the only people really fighting for the institution are gay people.

That’s because they recognize it’s value. And it does have value-no matter what the MSM tells us on a daily basis.

Given the choice, I would rather opt for quality of life rather than quantity.

Then you want to be married. I think you’re just scared. Yes, there will be challenges. Yes it will be hard work but it’s worth it. Biggest challenge in this life is raising children and you’re going to miss it if you don’t step up to the challenge of marriage.

Was married for 17 years, with two sons resulting from it. Yes, they are the proudest and most successful achievement of my life. Raising them was very rewarding…the marriage, not so much.

After I completed my duty as sperm donor, I was nothing but a paycheck with legs. In an attempt to “find herself”, she slept with a score of men, and spent our savings on vacations, weekend getaways, and hotel rooms. I divorced her ass once I found out about it all, and she had the nerve to be angry at me for dumping her wanton butt in the gutter where it belonged. The only trouble was, the law rewarded her with alimony that she continues to squander to this day.

And before you say it, let me just add this:

It was not my fault nor my responsibility that she decided to tramp it up like the town alleycat. That was a conscious decision on her part, without the concommitant expectation that she did not deserve to do this to anyone.

My bitterness, therefore, is well founded. Fear? What have I to fear from any woman? I only hold contempt for their bottomless sense of entitlement, and I refuse to give in to that crap again. I think also that 17 years of Purgatory is more than enough evidence that the institution means nothing in today’s world, and is a foolish and suicidal undertaking for any man.

And BTW…like Mark Twain said:

“There are three kinds of lies; lies, damned lies, and statistics”

@Curiepoint,
I agree with the Twain quote and use it often myself. That doesn’t mean the numbers about age at death or survival rates for married vs single cancer patients are wrong.

Secondly, I congratulate you on your children and I extend my condolences on the loss of your marriage. But, you demonstrated my point. You and your wife clearly had differing values structures. Even at that, I wonder how you wife was able to “sleep with a score of men and spend your savings on hotel rooms and weekend getaways and hotle rooms” without your knowledge. How close were you? Why would you allow her to go on weekend getaways without you? I don’t want to step on toes here, but you are disparaging marriage for all on the basis of yours and it seems to me that you had some responsiblity in the breakup of yours. My husband and I are both familiar with the checkbook. We both know where every penny is spent. When I have gone on campouts with my son’s Scout troop(the only weekend getaway type of thing I have done without my husband for the last ten years or more), I am careful to do my best to conduct myself in such a way that my husband could ask anyone where I was or what I was doing at any given moment during that campout and get an answer. When I have needed to go to day long trainings, I refused to share the drive with single men or even with married men whose marriages were in trouble. I did this out of respect for my husband. He is similarly respectful of me.
It sounds like you were neither expecting nor requiring such behavior from your wife.
Even the Bible grudgingly allows divorce for cheating, but, here’s the thing: your experience is not the norm. To condemn all marriage because yours didn’t work out is more fallacious than researchers attempting to draw conclusions from a bunch of numbers.
I am truly sorrowful for your experience. I’ll keep you in my prayers and I hope that time and prayer can heal some of your bitterness.

Thanks, but I already believe God has blessed me by giving me my sons. I am too old to give up that much trust to anyone ever again. I really don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything by staying by myself. Seventeen years is most of my adult life, and one simply does not start over after all that time. Of course, now that I have started to come out from under and have actually saved some money, the opportunities for feminine company seem to have increased substantially. I respond by not making eye contact if I can help it. If it’s unavoidable, the conversation stays safely away from topics such as my career, how much my mortgage is, and my bank balance.

I think it was Paul who encouraged those who could do so without sinning to remain single. I’m glad you are recovering financially at least. Trust is tough. I’ll keep you in my prayers.

@Curiepoint: I think Frank Sinatra said it best, that love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage. Without love the marriage will undoubtedly fail, and the reason the institution is under attack today is not because it’s flawed but because people don’t marry out of love and don’t take it seriously enough anymore. Because the courts have set up divorce as an extremely lucrative endeavor for women, it helped to raise a new generation of feminist minded women who see men more as a natural resource to tap into until the well is dry than a husband. It doesn’t mean marriage is a bad thing, only that people need to tread carefully and prayerfully.

I feel bad for what happened to you, speaking as one who has been homeless because of divorce (and I’m not even a divorcee, just a child of one!) If you feel you can lead a happy life single from now on without a woman, then it’s like Paul says, he who marry does well, but he who remains single does even better.

I personally believe I can find true love, but for that to happen it is better left to the guidance of Divine Providence than to seek her out on my own.

“Maybe, some day. But if not, I think the single life paired with an occasional trip to Prague (where prostitution is legal and CHEAP) would suit me just fine. “

Was I the only one totally creeped out by that part?

blaine, no- no you weren’t the only one creeped out by that?

Y’all people need to get out more. There’s a whole world out there that needs experiencing.

Maybe some of us have been experiencing the world; And care enough to give you a hint before you make a wrong turn and go ‘floozy’ on us.

What Annie said…being angry and frustrated about your lack of sexual satisfaction isn’t going to win any hearts…try living a little more, and you will get the perspective you need.

oops, Annie seems to have deleted her post. Oh well, she said that some of us have been experiencing the world out there and that we care enough about you to tell you before you go ‘floozy’ on us.

I agree.

Also, isn’t both prostitution and lust a sin? There seems to be a disconnect…I think it would make you a hypocrite if you were to follow through on that.

Ok number #1, I was KIDDING, and number #2, even if I were to sample dishes provided by the world’s oldest profession, at best it would be for the company, and for a snuggle or two. It seems in this day and age you would be hard pressed to find a pretty girl willing to spend any kind of time with you for free. Such a cold world we’ve become.

I don’t know…my girlfriend is pretty, she spends time with me…
As long as you are making comments like “hoochie mama of a ho bag”, I don’t think girls are going to want to be near you.

Tone down the anger, and become genuinely interested in women, as people with stories. Women can see through guys that are superficially nice and have sex/cuddling/loneliness on the brain.

Hope you are doing okay.

I use my blog to especially vent my innermost thoughts and frustrations about many things, things that wouldn’t be appropriate to rant away on in the normal discourse of interaction with people in real life, so what I say on here does not necessarily reflect what I say in real life. In short, I don’t go around calling women ho bags. Give me a little credit here. Indeed most of my friends oddly enough happen to be women. I just get fed up with the obnoxious attitude that seems to be germane to western women, and a conversation I’ve had with a female friend from another country would seem to affirm this.

And at that, I suspect you are being mild. I don’t know if it’s just western women or women in general, but we tend to not really believe that most men could think the things they do and still be perfectly(well, relatively) normal.
I have-just to test some of the things my husband has told me that I find difficult to believe – manipulated the occasional phone tech guy or troubleshooter into better and faster problem resolution.

The experience, while interesting, was unnerving in what it implied.(Mainly that my husband and others who have confirmed such things for me-because I just can’t internalize that knowledge- is telling me the truth about what and how men think. ) I think, Mr. Adams, that what some well intentioned folks are trying to tell you is that you will scare off the girl of your dreams if she reads your blog. So I advocate not telling her about it.

And before they ask, no, I will not share the technique to get better/faster problem resolution from those phone answering men.

And that is why I have a secret identity. Ironically enough, there’s a hidden blog here that contain my secret love letters to whoever she might be, but I think I’ll print those out rather than have her read it here.

…there’s a hidden blog here that contain my secret love letters

Isn’t that one of them oxymoron(s)?

Seems that sarcasm is lost on so many people.