Made a near midnight run to 7-11 for cookies and ice cream. You know, it’s right down the block from me and I’m thinking it’s late, nobody should be around and I can get my goodies in peace. Instead I run into a old lady flailing her arms because her car broke down, running around the store like we got hit by a nuclear attack, and then some cute girl, and I mean REALLY cute girl, with hot pink sweatpants comes in too… on the back of her boyfriend… and start making out in the ice cream section before I can get to my Haagen Dazs.

Because you know, I need to be constantly reminded that I’m single and nobody wants me, even at 11 o’ clock at night at a 7-11.

Just shoot me now.