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The email I never in a million years thought I would get (from the GIRL OF MY DREAMS)

Written by on March 26, 2012
Filed Under Romance and Relationships

Or if not the girl of my dreams, then a VERY close relative of her.

Remember how I described what I thought my dream girl would be like?

I added that description to my profile on one of the dating sites I was on.  Most of the women I talked to suggested I not do that, as such specific details might make a girl think I’m being very closed-minded about getting to know anyone else who is less perfect than the fantasy girl I’ve envisioned for myself.  That’s why I only decided to put it on one site, where I was having the least amount of luck.  No loss, no gain.

But then I happened across one profile and I found it so endearing that I had to email her (despite her being nearly 1,000 miles away.)  I didn’t expect to receive a response, but to my surprise I did, and to my complete shock, I couldn’t believe what I read:

Hello and thank you for the message!  May I just say that I love your profile.  It reads almost as poetry.  I was a little freaked out by your description of your dream girl… you could have been writing about me.  Right down to the bit about being quiet and shy, artsy, reads a lot (yes I love a real book in my hand :), long hair, never curses, love music (have played piano since I was 6) and am a true romantic at heart.  Despite the current statistics of the length of an average marriage these days I firmly believe that two people can love each other and no one else for their entire lives and be the better for it. *daydreams*

*snaps back to reality* So yes thank you for the message :)

O_O

I have no words.  Not two days ago I was firmly convinced that I was projecting my fantasy of the kind of girl I’d fall in love with, never believing for a minute that this type really existed in real life.  Except…

If anything, that completely turned my world upside down.  Could it be possible?  Could the girl I envision really exist, if not this sweetheart, then someone like her?  It was hard to imagine, but it gave me a glimmer of hope, that maybe, just MAYBE, I wasn’t being so silly about this after all.  Maybe I really did have a soulmate.

I’ve emailed her back and asked her if we could continue corresponding, if for no other reason than to just be friends and now waiting if she gets back to me with bated breath (actually I’m terrified out of my mind.)

I have no expectations really… ok who am I kidding, I already envisioned the wedding.  My mind has a tendency to do that, latching on to a scrap of hope in the present and then time warping into an idealized future, instead of just taking things as they are now.   It’s why even the most petty of disappointments sometimes have such a devastating impact on me.  Sigh, I wish I could stop that somehow.

So if she doesn’t respond (which seems likely) I’ll be sad panda, but I think it was enough to know my type may exist in this world after all.

Comments { 13 }

A profile that gives me just a wee bit of hope

Written by on March 25, 2012
Filed Under Romance and Relationships

I’m sorry for going on this long stretch of whiny crybaby wailing over my online dating experiences recently, but I’m planning to get back on the road next month (either Tennessee or anywhere but here), so I do see a light at the end of the tunnel.  Too bad I have so little drama in my life that I don’t have much else to write about, amirite??

Anyhoo, after spending the usual afternoon sifting through eons of profiles, this one caught my eye:

I’m a 24 year old with a lot ahead of her but no one by her side. I am an artsy person with a love of languages and culture. I would love to travel someday with someone who appreciates culture as well and how other people live in the world. I also love to help people and I’m looking for that quality in a guy as well. Someone who won’t scoff at me if I’m heading out to visit someone in a nursing home or take a dish of food to a struggling family etc.

Above all else, I am looking for a kind and caring guy who isn’t afraid to show me his feelings and is dedicated and loyal. I love love love humor in guys and I don’t think I could be with someone who is always serious. There is a time and place for that of course but I like a geeky/goofy guy for sure. I never grew up in the spotlight, I was the middle of 5 siblings and have only had 1 boyfriend which lasted 2 years in the time since High School.

It’s not indicated here, but elsewhere she describes herself as shy and introverted as well.

I knew I had a type, but I seriously didn’t believe my type existed, that it was just a fantasy conjured up by wishful thinking.  You see enough dating profiles and you believe women as a whole only want a particular flavor of guys, that is, men who are tall, dark and handsome, ambitious, knows what they want in life, very active outdoors and equally as active on the social scene.

You know, everything I’m not.

But then I read a profile like this and I realize not only does my type of girl potentially exist, but it’s possible that I could be the type of guy they are looking for too.

Kinda brightened my day, reading this.  Yes, I sent her an email.  No, I don’t expect a response.  But still, it does grant me a sliver of hope, and I guess that’s enough for now.

Comments { 4 }

Maybe I have a type after all (and my new dating profile page!)

Written by on March 12, 2012
Filed Under Romance and Relationships

A few people suggested that I create a dating profile on my blog, so I managed to hack one up today (check it out here).

For now it’s a copy of the profile intro I’ve been using with some extra stuff tossed in.  Might add some pictures later on (as long as I’m not identifiable in any shape, form or way), but i’m too lazy to do anything of the sort now.  Let me know what you think though.

After pasting my profile I started writing up what I personally wanted in a female companion, and I think that surprised me, because my description of the dream girl started to become more detailed and specific.   So much that I was starting to wonder if I wasn’t describing a real person.  That maybe, somehow, I was imprinted with a sense of who she might be even though I don’t know WHO she actually is just yet.

Maybe that’s just the romantic, idealistic side of me dreaming again, but it’s nice to think that there might be something to this.  It’s on my dating profile now, but I’ll re-post it here for your perusal:

*******************************************

As for the kind of girl I’m looking for, physically my type seems to be women who are especially girlie, big bright eyes that just draw you in, with a soft look and expression about them (and not the permanent, stony faced scowls that seem to be so common among women these days.) Think Zooey Deschanel or Jessica Alba, pretty much the only two celebrities I’ve ever daydreamed about. Well, other than Rebecca Herbst that is, who I had a thing for back when I was in college (a soap opera star in General Hospital.)

Besides that, she’s quiet, shy, and a bit introverted (or maybe a lot). She loves reading books, whether it’s on a Kindle or iPad, although maybe she just likes to hold an actual book physically. She might have reading glasses too, granny type glasses that make her look even more adorably cute.

She dreams a lot, sometimes lost in thought, always thinking. She’s kind-hearted and volunteers somewhere to help people in need. She’s the type that’s always looking for a quiet spot by herself in a park or an arboretum, content to watch nature and observe people.

And when she smiles, there’s almost a melancholy sadness about it, and yet it’s a smile that could light up my day and make me feel as right as rain again.

She’s quirky and funny, and maybe a bit clumsy. She almost never curses, and might even still blush red if she says things like darn and poopie.

She cares about her looks, but not excessively so. Her hair is long, maybe slightly curly, maybe not, always beautiful. She dresses tastefully, a bit modestly, but somehow attractively. She loves animals, might have a dog or a cat that looks just as adorably cute as she does.

She has an artistic side, whether in music, art or poetry. She feels deeply, and loves deeply. She is a romantic, a true one, she equally craves intimacy and bonding with the love of her life. Soulmates are not a silly concept for her.

She sees the world through child-like eyes, always fascinated by it and viewing it with a sense of wonder.

She is, for all intents and purposes, the girl of my dreams.

Comments { 1 }

After 130+ messages to women on dating sites, I finally get a response! (and why being a player is hard work)

Written by on March 12, 2012
Filed Under Romance and Relationships

I have the hat.

Last Friday was a weird day.

After plugging away on 3 dating sites, it finally got to that I was trading emails, texts and IMs with 8 women in one day, one of who actually got back to me after I viewed her profile and sent her a message.

Of the 8, I was only attracted to 3 of them, the rest of them had contacted me first and I was pretty much just stringing them along (cuz I’m kind of a douche.)  They all complimented my profile though and how funny I was, and I didn’t want to just blow them off after they had said such nice things, so I just tried to be polite as I could.

I think they all got the clue that I just wasn’t that into them though, as I hadn’t heard from them for 2-3 days nows.  Whew.  Dodged that bullet.  :-D

Of the 3 I WAS attracted too, 2 were overweight, but OMG, just as cute as a pail full of kittens.  Let it never be said that I never go for overweight girls, so suck it you people who think I’m being picky.  :-P

Anyway, one was in Florida, and our texts were pretty clipped.  I could tell she was just humoring me, but at least she was texting me, so there’s that.  Another one sent me an email but that was pretty much it.  The last one was the most promising, she was from Dallas, had an adorable face and worked in a similar profession.  Her emails came across as pretty shallow though, not much of a deep thinker and a bit self-absorbed.  I tried to keep it up but it was clear the distance was an issue and she wasn’t one to use the computer much, so it eventually fizzled as well.

And now… I have a local gothic chick chasing me.  Cute, but the pic of her standing in front of a shrine to some demon named Babalawanakillu (or something) has me a bit apprehensive.  Not seeing a white picket fence future with her either.  Oh and a bisexual looking for a fling too.  Because if there’s one thing New York (particularly Long Island) does better than anyone else (including Austin), it’s dishing out teh CRAZIES.

Ugh.

Still, I couldn’t believe I was chatting with over 8 women in one day, and I found the experience exhausting.  I don’t know how the players do it.  They must feed off that somehow like a leech, but for it was emotionally draining, especially as each interaction eventually fizzled out due to lack of interest or common ground, or even just the distance between us.

That’s another thing I learned, how extremely difficult it would be to forge any kind of long distance relationship because of the effort needed to keep her interested in me, at least until she’s emotionally invested in making it work.  I’m better off keeping my searches local.

…. Except that the locals here are out of their freaking minds.  Must be the water.

Comments { 0 }

What I learned from online dating: NEVER EVER LISTEN TO WOMEN

Written by on March 6, 2012
Filed Under Romance and Relationships

I was reading a fascinating thread on a message board about relationships.  This guy comes on and basically complains about how women are viewing his dating profile but no one ever sends him any emails.  So I checked his profile:

“I rarely attend Church… I’m on SSI disability, so, please don’t expect a rich guy.  I live with my parents, but pay rent.”

Yeah so ok, I think we all know what his problem is.

But that’s not what fascinated me.  What fascinated me was that none of the half dozen or so women make mention of his profile.  They’re all basically encouraging him and saying don’t give up you’ll find somebody, blah blah blah, emo-positive stuff.

Not once did it occur to any of them to say, “You know what, your profile SUCKS.  Change it you idiot.”

Profiles are like resumes, you have to represent the very best of yourself, dangle that carrot so to speak, so once you have somebody on the hook, the less awesomer sides of you become more palatable and easier to accept.  That’s just human nature.

But none of these women make mention of this, lulling this guy into a false sense of confidence that there was nothing inherently wrong with how he was presenting himself.

That made me think about things.  Particularly if women tell me totally positive stuff about myself and that there’s nothing wrong, it really means THERE IS SOMETHING HORRIBLY, HORRIBLY WRONG AND THEY ARE JUST NOT TELLING ME.

Except for my mother, who always gives it to me straight and tells me when I’m being a schnook (which is pretty much all the time.)

 

 

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