That was it?

Yeah I know I’m only repeating ad infinitum what virtually every New Yaawker was saying in Irene’s aftermath, but still… that was it?

I never lost power once, although it seemed a quite a few people around me did, but as I watched the winds toss a few leaves outside in what was otherwise a normal torrential downpour, I couldn’t help but feel the urge to drive into the city, find a reporter breathlessly sounding dire warnings about the apocalypse that Hurricane Irene was about to bring upon us, and give him a nice swift kick in the balls.

Have you noticed, that these same chooch monkeys barely said a word about North Carolina when it got hit by, you know, a REAL hurricane? Almost like it was an afterthought, nay, the REAL story was Irene coming to New York and wreaking havoc and destruction on THEM, because after all, it’s where most of these reporters actually LIVE.

Funny that, how their lives seem to be more important than the lives in North Carolina, or say, Connecticut? You could actually hear the relief in one reporter’s voice as he informs the viewers that the bulk of the storm was now projected to miss the city and veer east towards Long Island instead. Wheeeeewwww, dodged that bullet, didn’t ya? We the people of Long Guuuuyland are much grateful to hear that the city has been spared, while the rest of us guffoons die in a flash flood.

Exactly how many times is the media going to pull this sensationalist “We only care about violent storms when it personally affects US or gives US a chance to be the next Dan Rather” crap before we get a live one that could indeed wipe out half the eastern seaboard, only we wind up losing more lives than saving them because this chooch media cried wolf one too many times?

In any event, I’m glad most of us came out of it unscathed, in so far as Irene not only merely gently caressed me with her loving winds, she also left behind a gorgeous sunny day appropos of autumn. I always joke about enjoying synergy with violent storms, but now I’m starting to wonder…

You know, when I read things like this, I honestly just want to fall on my own sword (if I had one.)

Let me point out just a couple of the injustices here. One, she’s getting tons of traffic to her blog, which is in turn helping to fund her quest to reach 1,000 pounds. The blog offers nothing more than a chance for men everywhere to watch her gouge on fast food. And for this, she’s raising crazy blog money.

When my mother told me to come up with an original idea to help bring in traffic to my blog, I’m pretty sure this wasn’t what she had in mind. It used to be the only guarantee of getting massive traffic to your site had to involve boobies and kittens (or ideally a mixture of both). I guess now we can add a mountain of flab to the list too.

Secondly, to say nothing of the fact that she is getting the kind of traffic and income stream that I could only dream about, she also has a boyfriend on top of that. A boyfriend. That she met on a plus-sized dating site. Seriously? If that’s plus size, then what’s a size zero, the country of China?

How is it that I can’t even attract mosquitoes if I was covered head to toe in horse poopie, yet Jabba the Hut’s twin sister can get a boyfriend? I see this, and my mind logically concludes that I am somehow more undesirable, repugnant and disgusting than even 200 million year old fossilized dinosaur snot if a whale mountain man-faced hag beast stands a better chance of finding wubsies than I do. Thanks so much ladies, ya really know how to make a guy feel special.

For this however, I blame men. Who is encouraging this behavior but a horde of orca loving male perv monkeys? How is it that society tolerates your existence without grinding all you sickos to ashes with a napalm bomb?

Sigh, I can’t read this crap anymore. I’m gonna go have myself a Ho-Ho now.

Back in October I blogged about my trip through Vermont and New York, and some of the best pictures I took during that trip was a shot of Lake Champlain with the Crowns Point Bridge in the background. That same bridge closed literally a day after I had driven over it, and was finally demolished forever yesterday morning:

As it turns out, there were divers in the water around the same time I had driven over the bridge, and it was since discovered that in some parts the bridge was not even connected to the concrete piers beneath it.

Who knew the picture I took of the bridge would turn out to be the very last one I would ever make before it closed permanently? I found myself truly saddened by its demolition, as another piece of our history is now gone for no other reason than because of the gross incompetence and stupidity of our local politicians. Thanks Albany!

Here’s a photo from my last view of the Lake Champlain Bridge before I drove over. You can also read more about its history here.

I think people who live and breathe the news and politics 24/7 either have nerves of steels, or they got some problems.

There’s only so much I can take of the news before my eyes start to bleed over and I start seeing visions of angry looking leprechauns stealing my iPod and then setting my room on fire with dragon’s breath to assure their escape. Trust me, having these kinds of hallucinations is not a good place to be.

That’s why my blog will rarely be news oriented, but also because, well, it’s just so monotonous too. Oh the monotony of it all! Seriously, when you hit Drudge or anything else these days the news could always be summed up in three words: The world SUCKS. And I suspect that would pretty much cover the news for tomorrow too.

But without the news and politics, I don’t have the writing fodder that others take for granted for their politically charged blogs. So I have to find other sources of inspiration, which usually defaults to what’s been happening in my life lately.

Except that… my life could bore a snail to death. I just eat, sleep, wake up, yawn, go to work, then eat and sleep while I’m at work, then come home and eat and sleep some more. Even my dreams are boring, which for some odd reason lately has me doing exactly what I’ve been doing in real life: eat, sleep, work, sleep, eat, although not necessarily in that order.

I think I need a vacation. I’m obviously working too much.

I did however make a pact with myself, that I would blog at least 5 times a week (Monday to Friday) just so I could keep feeding the Google matrix with my fascinatingly witty repertoire. They say if you do this often and long enough the traffic will eventually come, and along with it, fame, money, babes, and lots of cupcakes (I’d settle for the cupcakes.) But because the mind is like a muscle too, writing on a regular basis would help improve the flow of thoughts as they travel from my bodaciously sexy brain to my smooth and delicate fingers. It also means though that I’m probably going to write some ridiculously stupid things on here, so you’ll have to forgive me if reading my content results in the loss of a few IQ points on your end.

Still, I need to write. I’m always letting my blog languish simply because I don’t have anything going in my life, but I feel determined to just keep at it until it becomes second nature to me, and I’m able to weave an epic, riveting story even out of something as mundane as picking at a hangnail. :-D

So what do y’all think? Would you find yourself at the edge of your seats waiting to see what becomes of my hangnail?