I was recently accepted into a part time program at a nearby law school.

But I’m not THAT thrilled about it.

One of the reasons why is because I still haven’t made up my mind about law school. Regardless, this presents a far better opportunity than I had before. I won’t have to quit my job or move to another state, I’ll have the luxury of giving it a try for one semester, and if things don’t work out, or I decide it was a mistake, I can withdraw without suffering severe losses.

But man do I hate this school. It just oozes liberalism from every core, and there’s no doubt the professors will be leftist retreads who will probably spend half the time lecturing us on how Bush stole the election in 2000, ad the other half lecturing us on how Bush is the sole reason for global warming. My patience with libtards has reached its limit, so I doubt I’d be able to thrive in such an environment unless I can somehow zone out from my commie surroundings and go to a happy place in my head (which usually involves rolling around in the hay with Jessica Alba).

For virtually that reason alone, I had opted to attend a more conservative school in another state so I could myself in a community where people were at least close to the same wavelengths I was on. And let’s not forget the babes. A college atmosphere that draws a more conservative crowd would provide the kind of dating mill that I was desperately searching for. If I stay here, the girls may still be hot, but they’ll also most likely be vicious, man hating freaks with a favorite pasttime of conducting public castrations. Finding a pure and gentle cuddly soul amongst a lot like that might prove to be a bigger undertaking than building a space shuttle using nothing more than plastic straws and toothpicks.

Then there’s the matter of the cost. Even part time, tuition is still expected to cost me roughly 25 grand a year. Right now I’m currently on pace to pay off all my debts (from car payments to my old college loan) in another year or so. The thought of being completely debt free in a relatively short period of time is an extremely enticing one for me, but it would be something I would have to forgo pretty much for the rest of life should I decide to attend law school. The cost benefit analysis here tells me this crap just isn’t worth it.

But then there’s the matter of whether I was born to eventually enter this profession. I haven’t read anything remotely legally related in a while, and over time my interest in the law has waned. Whether that’s an indication that being an attorney just isn’t for me, I dunno, but it’s not an encouraging sign. I SHOULD have a notable amount of passion for pursuing this endeavor, but I just don’t. But then again, I don’t seem to have a passion for much of anything these days, except kicking back on my easy chair and watching syndicated reruns of Scrubs.

The good thing is that I still have 3 months before making a final decision. And even if I should decide against attending law school, things might easily change given enough time, and maybe I’ll make another run at it after a few years have gone by (or when I inherit a 10 million dollar trust fund).

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So the other day the thought occurred to me, “Why not apply to the local law school here part-time?”

The idea made perfect sense. For one, I wouldn’t have to uproot myself and move to another state, and more importantly, I wouldn’t have to give up my job either. I’d also have a chance to try it for a semester to see if it’s something I can really do, instead of investing thousands upon thousands of dollars only to end up realizing it isn’t for me. Plus, the school is literally just down the road from where I work and they also allow you to attend part time during the day, meaning I wouldn’t have to change my hours either (since I work in the evenings rather than during normal working hours.)

Even though it’s an ultra-liberal school, nobody says I have to STAY there. If things work out and I ace the first semester, I can tell them to sod off and then transfer to my school of choice. It really would be a good way for me to test the waters, because if I can ace the first semester at a secular, whacked out leftist school while working a full time job on top of it, then I’ll know I’m on to something here.

But, there’s still the matter of getting accepted first. They have an early decision process where I could apply and bind myself to attending only that school if they accept me. I believe I’m given priority consideration if I take this route, so it’s very tempting. Early Decision (ED) requires me not to apply to another other school under the same early decision process, and to withdraw my application to any school once and if I’m accepted to this one.

Slight problem though…

I’ve already been admitted (though deferred) at another law school in Virginia, the one I’ve been planning to attend last year. Since my admission has been deferred, then technically, I haven’t really applied to any schools this year. But… if I am accepted at the local school, then I’d have to withdraw my admission to the one in Virginia. Maybe. Or maybe… I could just play stupid…

I don’t want to have to commit to attending the local school just yet, but I do want the advantage of being an ED applicant. Could I pull a fast one here? I can’t see how they’d be able to find out. There’s no record of me having applied to any other schools this year, and there won’t be.

But, Providence seems to have stepped in, as I couldn’t get the ED form to come up on my online application to save my own life. It simply refused to merge with the main application. Very curious. So I finally gave up and applied under the regular process. Ah well… whatever will be, will be.

There are some women who are so far out of my league that if my league exploded, they wouldn’t hear the sounds for another three days. (Hat tip to the TV movie, The Librarian). Fortunately, the sort I’m referring to here are bright, elegant and morally upright girls who are simply a part of a culture I can’t relate to.

Then there’s that other sort, the sordid crack whore types who almost take perverse pride in the fact that they’re crack whores. They demonstrate all the moral aptitude of a brain damaged alley cat, and their pasttime consists mostly of getting drunk, fooling around, and then getting drunk again. You know the type I’m referring to here. They almost always have Myspace websites exhibiting lewd and crude photos of themselves, (usually holding ironically enough, a glass of beer or wine), and which predictably contain quite a long list of comments from horny men looking for booty.

I had this vain hope that law school might weed out the most putrid of these sewage inhabiting bimbos, but alas it was too much to ask for. Case in point, here’s an excerpt of an email sent to an ex-law student’s blog, highlighting one particular floozy’s adventures in law school:

…the three of us nearly all got kicked out of law school for laughing in court while a rather unfortunate prostitute was arraigned. We had to write apologies to the dean and the judge, seriously. In the quagmire, I found a boyfriend… who, incidentally, had a wife. This boyfriend more or less saved my academic @$$ by teaching me Civil Procedure – to a solid C-level…

This former bartender turned attorney quite matter of factly conferred upon her readers the breathtakingly and morally bankrupt details of her law school experience, seemingly oblivious to what a complete tramp from hell she was making herself out to be. I’m inclined to think the whole thing was really made up, but sadly, I know better.

From blogs written by women who proudly declare themselves “Law Bitches” to the “supposedly” female blogger billing herself as the Law School Virgin (complete with sordid postings indicating a perpetually drunk little girl who enjoys only sporadic moments of sobriety), it’s no wonder why I’ve seem to have lost a measure of faith in the virtues of the opposite gender.

To think, these people will someday become lawyers. Good God.

Law school claims to suck up more than 50-60 hours a week of your time. And yet somehow, some way, students find the time to run for positions in the SGA (Student Government Association). Why? Is it the allure of possibly having the label President, Vice President, Treasurer or Secretary (ok maybe not Secretary) affixed to your name? I got news for you: being the President of an SGA is about as prestiguous as being the President of the chess club where you’re the only member. It may have been cute in high school, and perhaps even useful too, since it gave the nerds something to do while the real men went out and played football, but this is law school now. Grow the @#$% up already.

Caught this interesting news piece:

On June 27, 1995, the Department of Justice(DOJ) filed a complaint formally charging ABA with fixing professors’ salaries and other violations of the Sherman Anti-Trust Act. It charged ABA with furthering “the self-interest of professors instead of improving education,” Hagan said. Although ABA agreed to a DOJ consent decree at the time, Hagan said this did not put an end to ABA’s restrictive practices. “Even after the consent decree, the ABA continued to require schools to hire huge, expensive full-time faculties who had light teaching loads, to build expensive buildings costing millions of dollars, to have a huge and expensive hard copy library even though legal materials are available on-line, and to demand high LSAT scores from applicants.” Hagan reflected, “The decree did nothing to open law schools to persons who had been unfairly excluded.”

If you ever wondered how law professors manage to find the time to become such prolific bloggers, now you know.