So I get a letter in the mail last Monday, real bland looking envelope, looks like it might have come from my credit card company.
I open it up and it reads:
As we publicly reported last fall, Express Scripts, the company that administers (or previously administered) your prescription-drug benefit, received a letter in October 2008 from an unknown person or persons trying to extort money by threatening to expose millions of our member records. We immediately notified the FBI, and an investigation is ongoing.
I am contacting you because the FBI recently received additional information and as a result we learned that the unauthorized access to information included your name, social security number and date of birth and may also include prescription information. Although details regarding the situation are limited and we are unaware at this time of any actual misuse of your information, we believe it is important to notify you. We continue to investigate this matter and will further advise you if we become aware that your information has been misused.
My first thought was, “What in the flipping flip is Express Scripts???”, because prior to today, I had never heard of them. I did some googling and only found barebones info that indicated they were the third largest prescription benefit manager (PBM) in the US. Apparently my health insurance uses them (or used to at least), which would explain why I had gotten such a letter.
So I’m only now being told that crucially personal information about me had been STOLEN, 11 months later after the fact? Seriously?
I thought it had to be a scam, yet it turns out such a thing did apparently happen, since it had been reported by the NY Times (which explains why no one seems to know about it.) The letter also indicated that they set up a support site with more info and what I could do if I became a victim of identity theft, and that through them I would be able to use the services of a fraud prevention company called Knoll should I end up becoming a victim of identity fraud.
So basically I have to twiddle my thumbs and wait around to see if I eventually get butt boinked by the perpetrators who stole my ID. Great plan guys! First you scare me to death with this letter, and then tell me to adopt the wait and see approach, meanwhile somewhere out there some dude named Ivan Uvgunstoffgard is at this very moment placing a $50,000 order for a Mercedes using a newly minted gold card with my name on it. That’s just great.
Oh but wait, it gets better.
Because apparently, when the initial breach first occurred, only 75 names had been confirmed stolen, but recently it seems the number was much, much larger than that. A letter was also sent to New Hampshire AG indicating that almost 2000 people in that state alone have had their info stolen as well. I seriously doubt “millions” of records had been stolen, but this data breach was definitely bigger than earlier reported. They must have had some idea of the scope and who was at risk, so it would have been nice to have been apprised of this LAST YEAR when it happened, instead of waiting until it was actually confirmed that my info was included in the theft before notifying me.
Even though they did publicly report it, it seems they’re still trying to be low key about it all, so please allow me to help them out on this by SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS TO ALL WHO CAN HEAR:

WARNING, WARNING, IF YOUR HEALTH INSURANCE/EMPLOYER USES EXPRESS SCRIPTS, YOUR PERSONAL INFORMATION MAY HAVE BEEN STOLEN

Sigh. On the upside, I had gotten my credit reports and scores from the three major credit agencies last July, months after the data breach, so if my info bad been misused during that time it would have showed up then. Still, I signed up for LifeLock as a precuationary measure (maybe I’ll send the bill Express Scripts too). After taking a harder look at what LifeLock had to offer, I’m surprised I didn’t sign up for it sooner, especially since I got a 20% discount and will only pay $8 a month for the year. 8 bucks a month for some peace of mind is a no-brainer, especially after getting a letter like this.
But just in case, I’m working on establishing a new alternative identity under the name Vincent Spankypants, a venture capitalist who owns various multi-million dollar properties around the US, including a favorite in Aspen, Colorado, where he can sometimes be found snuggling with a Ukranian blonde and roasting marshmellows by the fireplace. Totally believable identity if you ask me.