This would be one of them:

Yes, that’s a woman by the way. I can confirm this because she recently sent me a wink on Match.com.

Recently got this email out of the blue:

Hello, my dear friend!

Maybe, you could fly to me tomorrow and bring me to your home, to get married me and to call me your sweet wife. It is my bright pink dream. I know that it can’t be not tomorrow and not even the next day, because I am nobody for you and my letter will turn out to be big surprise for you. I am right.

But I am able to change everything right now and from pretty stranger I want to become very special person in your life. If You would be ill and I would be happy to take care of you; You would have interesting news into your life, and I would be close to you to share happy moments with you. Don’t you agree that it is real happiness when you come after work and light windows of sweet home wait for you, when you open the door and you feel sweet kisses and hugs onto your body? I think that nothing in the world can be compared with such simple family happiness. I need it very much and my letter, which you hold into your arms, proves it.

You need not to look for me long, I am right here and wait till I can greet you warmly.

Have a good mood
Irishka

I cried for several minutes. Here was someone who was a complete stranger, and yet she made my day. You can tell she had so much love and warmth to give that she felt compelled to write me a letter (even though it meant having to struggle to write it in English), just to show me how much she cared. Here’s someone who totally gets me, and the only thing I have to do is fly over there to bring my sweet angel back.

Anybody want to be my sponsor? Please, it’s for love.

We have a clipboard in our section that shows a list of the latest death notices for workers or workers’ relatives who recently passed away. I noticed one woman had a tendency to check the list every day when she walked by our section. She was doing it again today, so I said:

“Checking to see if the hitman did his job?”

She looked at me without emotion and then walked out of the room.

I turned to my coworker. “Why does nobody appreciate my sense of humor?”

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaay beeeeeeeeeee
If I praaaaaaaaaay eveeeeeeerry niiiiiiiight,
You’ll come back tOoOoOoooOooOoOo meeeeeeeeee! 

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaay beeeeeeeeeee
If I crrrrry eveeeeeeeeeeeeryday,

You’ll come back toOOoOoooooOOO staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay,
OooOoOooOhhhh, maybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

****************************

I’ve prayed and prayed,
To the Lord,
To send you back myyyyyyyyy looooOOOoooOve,

Buuuuuuut instead, you came to meeeeeeeeeee,
OoOoOoOOooOOoOnly in myyyyyyyy dreeeeeeaaaaaams!

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaay beeeeeeeeeee
If I praaaaaaaaaay eveeeeeeerry niiiiiiiight,
You’ll come back tOoOoOoooOooOoOo meeeeeeeeee! 

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaay beeeeeeeeeee
If I crrrrry eveeeeeeeeeeeeryday,

You’ll come back toOOoOoooooOOO staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay,
OooOoOooOhhhh, maybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Care to guess what I’ve been praying for lately?