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Taxed with doing taxes

Lincoln Adams | January 10, 2010 @ 11:15 am

Been reading up on miscellaneous income at the IRS due to having to report my blog earnings now, which skyrocketed to $3.34 last year (adjusted for inflation).

When I scanned the list of the different types of income, I noticed this:

They really expect people to confess to a crime, on their TAX RETURNS? Seriously?

Anyhoo, I’m wringing my hand over doing taxes this year since it marks the first time I have to report an income stream outside of my full-time job. I like keeping things simple, so simple in fact that for 10 years or more I’ve only had to file a 1040A using standard deduction to get my refund. It takes like 5 minutes to do my taxes, but then of course I have to do my NY state taxes too, which typically takes me 5 weeks. You think federal taxes are complex? Come live here. You’ll never complain about the feds again.

Evidently I have to report ALL my additional income (not just the ones I got a 1099 for), including the $5 lottery scratch-off I won as a Christmas present. Sure, I’ll get right on that. I’m just righteously anxious to fork over what little of my money I have left so the gubmint can continue to hand out welfare checks to crack addicts. You betcha!

Seriously though, it doesn’t look like it will be too bad this year. I just need to switch over to a 1040 and there’s a line on it where I can report miscellaneous income. Next year though will likely be a completely different story. I can’t even wrap my mind around it, but the day might come where I may have to incorporate my blog as a business, because it’s getting to be THAT profitable. Habitation of Justice, LLC? :blink:

By that time I’ll probably need a tax advisor or some dweebie expert to walk me through incorporation and doing my taxes, and just hope they’ll be reputable. All this business crap gives me a serious headache. I just wanna blog and whine about about my lack of a love life in peace, ya know?

Tags: blog, business, earnings, federal taxes, income, incorporation, irs, report, state taxes, tax return
Categories: Blog Fog, Comic Relief

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This is what happens when you get bored

Lincoln Adams | August 7, 2009 @ 8:16 pm

So I’m minding my own business when I get an IM on AOL from someone named FreeAssFreda:

[15:39] freeassfreda: hi! I saw your profile and ur a cutie!

[15:39] linc4justice: Hi, where do I know you from?

[15:39] freeassfreda: I’m actually working right now what are you doing exactly??

[15:39] linc4justice: working too

[15:39] freeassfreda: aww poor baby i wish you weren’t at work.. maybe sometime i can take ur lunch break and we can have some fun for 30 min.. lol

[15:40] linc4justice: possibly, lol

[15:40] linc4justice: which profile did you find of me? I have a few of them

[15:40] freeassfreda: nice, nothin I work from home just starting doing these cam shows It’s pretty fun actually lol

[15:40] freeassfreda: I am a little busy right now cant really talk here but I would LOVE if you came to watch and give me some company, and maybe a GOOD rating ??

[15:42] linc4justice: sure!

[15:43] freeassfreda: well I think i have my free friend’s pass lyin here one sec babe.. I mean would you want it??

[15:44] linc4justice: sure!

[15:44] freeassfreda: yup, I do got another pass left!..YAY.. just please don’t tell anyone else I can get in trouble. What color panties should I put on for you sexy, i’ll let you pick! LOL

[15:45] linc4justice: Ummm, pink?

[15:45] freeassfreda: pink is my favorite color

[15:45] linc4justice: Mine too, but only on girls

[15:46] linc4justice: doesnt look as great on me

[15:46] freeassfreda: Ok, go to [link removed] scroll all the way down to the bottom babe, and you will see “friends of Megan”, click that and when you get the password page, put in the password: “daddy” okay?

[15:46] freeassfreda: yup, fill out your info, make sure you put your correct b-day k?

[15:46] linc4justice: No problem!

[15:46] freeassfreda: CC is just to verify your age hun,its the sites policy to ensure no minors get access to the site .. i gave u my free friend’s pass

[15:47] linc4justice: great, thank you!

[15:47] freeassfreda: ok let me know when you get in so I can invite you directly to my cam.

[15:49] linc4justice: I definitely will! And you’ll wear pink panties too?

[15:49] freeassfreda: pink is my favorite color

[15:51] linc4justice: I’m glad, but you’re definitely gonna wear the pink right?

[15:51] freeassfreda: pink is my favorite color

[15:52] linc4justice: I know, but you’re definitely going to wear pink right? I really have a thing for girls in pink, I don’t know why, just do.

[15:53] freeassfreda: k, you in yet babe?? Don’t keep me waiting!

[15:53] linc4justice: I won’t! Just filling out the form now.

At that point I thought “FAIL” and blocked her. I still don’t know if I was talking to a bot, some ugly dude from Pakistan, or a cam-whore just looking for business. I could be wrong, but I had the sinking feeling whoever it was wasn’t going to wear pink for me either. Ah well, it did make for an interesting chat on a boring afternoon though.

Tags: boring, chat, funny, girls, IM, profile, whore
Categories: Comic Relief

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10 Comments »

The most absurd email, EVER

Lincoln Adams | January 21, 2009 @ 8:53 pm

Just got this a few moments ago:

Subject: Greetings for his all family’s blessing by Truth God…….

Message: Hi Justicful and loving Mr Obama and Your loving Coordinater or Super truth cooperater wife,& Children…

You have a God gress & good luck! I pray to success truth aim for you!! India and truth indians can be Super coordinaters for your success, Get a more love by all people with all people and for all people.The book of Vedas & Nirukta must read for his aim. All is well, all be truth, God bless all.. Thanks… Your lover and welwisher…Dr Ashok Kumar Sharma Late Shree Pt. Har Prasad Sharma & Late Smt. Baikunthi Devi Sharma Bharadwaj Gurukula Kangri Haridwar Uttara.

:blink:

Nobody from India is ever allowed to come to my blog ever again.

Tags: email, funny, india, Obama
Categories: Comic Relief

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12 Comments »

Why creepy men are ruining the Internet and must be destroyed.

Lincoln Adams | December 28, 2008 @ 2:48 pm

Like a biblical plague devouring even the deepest corners of the Internet, creepy little dingalings are setting tech-savvy women on edge everywhere with their oh-so-creepy tweets, Facebook pokes, unwelcome emails and unwanted IM chats, and by doing so they have made it even more difficult for me to find my Cuddle Pot Bon Bon Bunny Cakes online.

I can understand now why many women would choose to put up avatars depicting a haggish looking 100 year old female who looks like she had been dug up and photographed for a museum exhibit instead of a real picture of themselves, or why they would say they’re married to an ex-Marine who keep a running scorecard of all the terrorists he kills (which would include people who look at his wife funny.)

Join an internet chatroom under the screen name “Butch123″ and you will go virtually ignored. Join the same chatroom under the screen name “cutegirl115″ and you will have inadvertently kicked off the rock hiding the most disturbing elements of the cyber underworld, as every creepy horned up moochbag descends on you in the futile and ridiculously vain hope that they will somehow be able to seduce you with their 10 years out of date pickup lines, or the JPG images of them rubbing Mommy’s feet, or by impressing you their exciting recaps of adventures they’ve had in the past week, which would include being mugged by a gang of 8 year old boys, utterly oblivious to the fact that this is not the sort of thing that’s likely to make a girl swoon over them.

But still they press on, like the virginal roaches that they are, creeping over every nook and cranny of the Internet, writing pathetic little odes to the current object of their affection on their blogs, serenading women on Facebook with rock ballads that aren’t even from the 80s, or chest thumping their overinflated sense of manhood on Twitter while they chow down on Cheetos.

It is time for the madness to end. It is time that we manly studs rise up and lay the ultimate who’s-your-daddy smackdown on our creepy counterparts. They are a disgrace, pestilence, a blight on the human race. Let us trample their Cheetos, break their XBoxes, and hack their Facebook profiles! Let us crush their fragile little weenieballs with the mallet of our well earned machismo!

Let us take back the Net, not just for us, but for our wimmins, that they may reward us handsomely for saving them from these creepsters with lots of smoochies and coochie coos!

FREEDOM!!!!!!!

Braveheart

:ggrin:

Tags: chatroom, creepsters, creepy, internet, manhood, manly, men, women
Categories: Comic Relief

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15 Comments »

I’m air banding it today

Lincoln Adams | November 26, 2008 @ 9:00 am

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone, turned on some music to start my day, I lost myself in a familiar song, I closed my eyes and I slipped awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…