Remember that scene from Ghostbusters?

Dr. Peter Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, “biblical”?
Dr Ray Stantz: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Dr. Peter Venkman: Exactly.
Dr Ray Stantz: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Dr. Egon Spengler: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…
Winston Zeddemore: The dead rising from the grave!
Dr. Peter Venkman: Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!

Maybe it’s bravado, but strangely enough just like Venkman, I seem to be relatively ok with the fact that we’re all going to die.  No, really.  Because if this crisis is truly meant to be the beginning of we’re-all-royally-screwed-end-times judgment on America for its many sins, then I can’t think of a better way to ensure our complete and total destruction than to elect a Christ denying (yet Christ imitating) dillweed who thinks he can neutralize the threat of a nuke building Iran and a nuke ready Russia with his charm.  Really, what better way to tell God just how ridiculously irredeemable we’ve become than to elect a guy who claims to be a Christian and yet thinks a good Muslim could still make it to the pearly gates as long as he keeps the bombing of civilians to a minimum?  Hey, we’re all good people here, really(!), even if we do think having a baby is tantamount to a punishment, and if we don’t seem to be too bothered at the thought of leaving those that survived failed abortions out to die.  Not that Big-O would ever intentionally do such a thing, he just doesn’t think they merit protection of course, at least not until the kind of offensive language that dares to remotely suggest a fetus is a living thing is completely stripped from such a bill of protection.  Because you know, God forbid we should toss those whacky pro-life freaks a bone that even NARAL wouldn’t have had a problem with.  We do need to be principled here, after all.

No, I just don’t see why God would want to rain fire and brimstone on us darling cherubs of light… except for possibly giving our rich folks far too many tax breaks.

When I think about it, it’s not even Obama that I can’t stand so much.  I don’t even hate on the heathens for supporting him either, since such a godless sort devoid of any sense of morality will obviously go for the Barry-O show.  I can respect that.

No, it’s the self professing Christians who hang on every word he speaks, and who teach their children to sing musical praises of Hopey-O-Change that make me want to stomp their faces in with something rusty and spiky.

It’s no secret that I intensely dislike what passes for American Christianity today, whether we’re dealing with dimwits sipping Starbucks while they fawn over girlie boy Rick Warren’s latest perfume scented books, or Calvinist snotheads who think knowing two words in Greek makes them the most brilliant scholars in recorded history, or charismatics who scream and flail their arms in revival meetings because they think they’re “on fire” and they’re about ready to projectile vomit out a stomach’s worth of 24 karat gold.

Yet nothing makes me want to go out and start bouncing people’s heads off the cement more than those ever devout Christians drooling puppy love over that Obamanation of nature otherwise known as Barack Hussein Obama.  I am absolutely convinced that this very same flock of fluffy sheep will also someday jump at the chance to stand in line for an opportunity to lick the hairy hindquarters of the Antichrist, thinking it will taste just like rainbows.

These to me represent the most darkened, clueless minds in all of creation, and because of their depraved stupidity I may end up witnessing the one thing I never wanted to see in my lifetime: the death of my country.  Thank you so, SO much for that, my brothers and sisters in the Lord.

I don’t get it.  I really don’t.  You hate Bush?  Fine.  You think he’s a war mongering, oil happy, half brained cowboy who caters to the rich?  Fine.  I can understand that.  I even dig the pacifism thing.

Explain the abortion thing to me then.  Explain to me how the violence involved in ripping fetuses to shreds doesn’t somehow repulse your pacifist side the way “Bush’s war” does.  Because when I see people looking to extend human rights to red assed baboons or wail whenever a dolphin is caught in a net, but scream at the top of their lungs for the right to twirl up a fetus into itty bitty bits that would have otherwise become a full fledged human being, then I see only the kind of deranged, twisted up minds that no medicine on earth could ever possibly cure.

And yet somehow, you’re all ok with it.  You can relate to a guy who can’t even get the basic tenets of Christianity right, (though I admit, it would have been more palatable to me if you merely agreed with him on some points and decided only to vote for him while holding your nose at the polls.)  But no, your attitude is one of complete adoration for a morally compromised Chicago politician as if he had come from the very throne of heaven itself.  It exhibits the same kind of mentality that the Antichrist will no doubt someday feed on: unabashed adoration and unquestionable loyalty, despite the transparent seedy and evil character of your so called hero.

It almost makes me want to see the Obamanation become President, if for no other reason than to see the collective look of your ashen faces when you realize with horror that “the one” turned out to be the second coming of JC after all: JC as in Jimmy Carter that is.  Mr. Malaise has finally come back to finish the job.

You know what really frosts my Chips Ahoy cookies about all this though?  It’s the fact that I’ll have to endure the travesty that will soon come upon us, alone.  There will be no honey bunny snuggles to share my misery with while we watch our beloved country commit suicide.  No cuddly bunchikins to hold and share a sweet, tender moment with while our cities riot and burn.  Every dark day that lies ahead of me I will have to face completely and utterly alone, all because not a single one of you hateful, despicable, vile women could manage to find it in your hearts to wubs me.

Fine then.  Don’t come crying to me when the world ends and you desperately need a manly shoulder to cry on.   I won’t be there.

Well maybe I will.  I am desperate and all so who knows, perhaps I can learn to forgive and forget. 

I had a dream last night where I met Sarah Palin at a Tennessee rally.  I’m not sure what either of us were doing there, but I ain’t gonna complain. 

Only problem was, the hags from The View were also there, including America’s favorite moron, Whoopi Goldberg. 

I was in a room and some sort of quasi-interview was taking place, which in reality was really a bashfest on Lady Sarah.  Somehow I stepped in though and started smacking around Goldberg.  You know, there’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of back and front slapping an idiot like Goldberg, especially when I was taking my time about it too. 

After that they just kind of disappeared, and Lady Sarah had to go get ready for the rally.  I told her not to worry about the media and that everything was going to be ok.  She hugged me tightly and kissed me on the cheek repeatedly, the same way my Mom would kiss me when she wanted me to know just how much she wubbed me. 

In fact my Mom was there too, and she wanted to take a picture of us together.  Lady Sarah cheerfully wrapped her arm around my waist, her hair brushing my chin as my Mom took our picture.   Everyone was really emotional about it too, the kind of raw emotion you might experience when you’ve been reunited with a long lost family member.

And indeed, in a way, Sarah Palin was family.  The love we all had for each other was palpable and genuine, and it was borne out of knowing that we were all part of the same family:  God’s family.

After I woke up, I wondered, why cant church be like this?  Why was it always so lifeless and dead, so caught up in the latest fads instead of concerning itself with the things that really mattered?  Why do we always perceive each other as strangers rather than family?

I made a decision that I would rather walk alone than walk with people who have compromised the faith, but for a moment here I was able to experience what it was like to have a real family.  To be loved and to love in return, if only for a moment.  It’s a shame that I could only experience that in a dream.  Even if I visited a million churches here, I’d never be able to feel at home like I did when I was in Lady Sarah’s arms. 

I caught this on Hot Air:

On a Los Angeles radio show, co-host Kathryn Milofsky asked Warren what one question he would direct at Palin if he was able to have her sit down for a forum like the one he hosted last month with John McCain and Barack Obama at his Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, California.

“Well actually she called me yesterday,” Warren said. “The question I asked her was ‘how can I pray for you?’”

Warren said that Palin then “asked me to send her some bible verses on how do you deal with the unfair, unjust attacks and the mean-spirited criticism that comes in.”

The truth was Warren in his typical suck-up mode had actually called Palin FIRST, and she was merely returning his call out of courtesy.  When prompted as to what he could do for her, that’s when she asked for helpful Bible verses.

Notice she asked for Bible verses, not quotes from his “The Secret” styled book, the “Purpose Driven Life.”  Of course knowing Warren, he probably offered her Bible verses cherry picked from 80 different translations.

What really chapped my smooth cooties about this though was the perception he gave that Palin had actually sought him out asking for spiritual advice.

Here’s a clue Rickie:  Women with balls of steel don’t need advice from men who don’t have any, mmmmk sweetheart?  So why don’t you go waddle back to your carnival of a “church” you call Brokeback Saddleback and leave the real Christians alone?

Really, what made you think an independent Pentecostal was going to seek out spiritual guidance from a clueless Baptist like you anyway?  Dweeb.

As much as I’m frothing at the mouth over the left’s putrid treatment and vicious smearing of Sarah Palin and her family, it’s always the Christians that manages to put me in a fire-breathing, throw-down mode. 

I found one one dissenter’s opinion of McCain’s choice for a running mate yesterday and read the following:

I came to this conclusion before I found out Palin has a five-month-old infant (I believe mothers [and fathers, OK?] should raise their children) and a knocked up teenage age daughter (who ought to give up the baby for adoption to an older, married, two-parent family) or that she’s under investigation for ethics violations.

You’re going to tell me that despite the daughter having the support of her entire well-to-do family, (and the fact that she is marrying the father), none of it is enough to justify keeping the baby?

La Shawn Barber (LSB) further links to a Dr. Laura piece to bolster her argument about why Palin was a bad choice too.  Yes, seriously.

With my jaw on the keyboard, I tapped out a comment on her blog and made it known that I thought her opinion here was one of the stupidest I’ve ever seen.  It was of course, promptly deleted, even though I wasn’t actually calling her stupid, just the views she held on the issue.  Well, now that she censored me (which she is perfectly free to do) I’ll just repeat my comments on this here blog of mine:

Um, what?  What???  That was one bar none, of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen you write.  Oh, and you’re a pigheaded skunk of a dweebish idiot too.

I added that last part just now by the way.  Yep, immaturity and spitefulness, that’s what I’m all about.

But besides that, LSB thinks Palin is ultimately unqualified, though admittedly much far more qualified than Obama is, and ultimately she really is qualified after all to be VP, so… um, what’s the problem again?

Ah yes, the problem is, (according to Dr. Laura), mothers can only do one thing at a time.  They can’t run the country and raise their families all at once, and to attempt to do both just makes them really bad Mommys.

Yet curiously enough, fathers seem to have no trouble with this.  How many fathers of wee little ones that were also Presidents did we have who still managed to make executive decisions even while their beloved ones were sick in bed?  I’m guessing quite a few, starting with Kennedy, who was the last Prez to have infants in the White House if I’m not mistaken.

And besides that, from what I’ve seen of the Palin family, it looks like each member of age appeared to take turns taking care of the younger ones.  This is not one father or one mother raising a family here: this is a whole family raising a family.  A truly cohesive unit making a group effort to support each other.

Yes I can see why Palin’s daughter would need to give the kid up for adoption here.  Gotta get that poor child far away from these whacknuts and their sick, sick circle of wubs after all, yesiree bobba ling.

Good grief.  How these Christian bloggers manage to get the audience they do when they up and say stupid controversial smack like this is beyond me.

On second thought, I probably answered my own question there. 

Here we go:

“Well, I’m a pastor, not a pundit,” {Rick Warren} told CNN’s Suzanne Malveaux on Thursday’s “Situation Room.” “One of the things we’re going to do is I’m going to ask identical questions to both candidates, which will be different.

“I’m not going to play ‘gotcha’ with one candidate and not with the other. This way, it will be totally fair. You compare apples to apples,” he added.

Among the questons that will be asked:

“What’s your favorite color?”

“Do you prefer sunrises, or sunsets?”

“How do you like your steaks: medium, rare, or well done?”

“If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?”

Ok, I might have made some of those up, but I wouldn’t be surprised in the least if Warren really did ask them. You think it might be too much to hope that this Hawaiian-shirt wearing fat-ass might actually bother to ask Barry-O how he can reconcile his quasi support of infanticide with his “Christian” beliefs (especially since he’s been a “Christian” for, what… 5-6 minutes now?) And yes I did say infanticide, because seriously, that’s how F%&*ED UP Obama’s position on abortion is.

You could almost hear the collective sound of balls hitting the megachurch floor as those half eunuch weenies (beginning with their Head Weenie Rickie Warren) abandon all sense of principle so they could entertain a couple of presidential hopefuls, because God forbid we should offend anyone you know, especially with the truth. Horrors!

There must be a reason why I keep confusing Saddleback with Brokeback these days.

I’m sure a few Warren fans will come out of the woodwork now to tell me what an idiot I am and that Warren is such a wonderful guy and everyone wubs him and he gives so much to the community and blah blah blah. Well sure everyone loves him. It’s easy to be loved when you don’t stand for anything.

I’ve been reading LGF on and off for the past few years (I was even on their blogroll), but I only recently began to notice a growing anti-Christian bias primarily born out of their head blogger’s distaste for Intelligent Design (ID).

While I’m a creationist at heart, I’m not a fan of the idea of ID either, since to me much of it represents a narrowly focused movement with disingenuous motives, and any movement that scraps its spiritual integrity in favor of political ambitions simply isn’t going to be blessed of God.

LGF’s continual bashing of ID though seems to be attracting a new demographic of readers, and to put it charitably, they are completely bugflip out of their heathen darkened minds.

After yet another ID bashing post, I happened to notice a comment by one of their more level headed readers:

I don’t support the intelligent design folks, but are they really so influential as to warrant such understandable hostility at this blog?  Have the(sic) made such inroads in education that they can no longer be casually dismissed?

To which another reader responded:

Considering they’re in bed with islamists and other haters of democracy- YES.

Uh oh, they’re on to us.  I better call my Al Qaeda buddy Omar and my commie friend Ivan to tell them the jig is up: them brilliant LGF folks have uncovered our conspiracy to destroy America by coercing an entire generation of children into believing that we were all intelligently designed.

Really, how much crack does a guy have to smoke before he starts coming up with nutty conspiracy crap like this?  Not only that, it would suggest that all creationists are of one mind in spreading the evils of Intelligent Design across the globe, and by God, we’ll enlist the aid of hardcore Muslims to do it if we have to!

Yet this very notion violates maybe 3/4s of what the New Testament teaches in regards to evangelism.  The emphasis has always been on preaching (and living) the Gospel, while leaving the rest up to God, because really, if the very act of observing the natural world cannot convince a person that we have a Creator, what more is there to be said?  It puts into question not only the wisdom of the extreme elements of the ID movement, but whether they are really even Christians to begin with.

But for those bare assed baboons hanging out at LGF, evidently we are esteemed in the same manner a black man is esteemed by a Ku Klux Klan dweeb: we all look and act alike to them.

Whatever.  LGF never really grabbed me anyway, as I’ve always been more partial to those sweet folks at Ace of Spades.  Only there could I get cuddly feelings of warmth and wubs just by being called a moron.