Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in 8 years, I have upgraded my ball mouse to... an optical mouse. The world will never be the same. (0)

If only single women could treat me as well as NewEgg.com does, what a wonderful world this would be. (0)

Yaaaay, I got store credit from NewEgg to cover the price difference of the printer I bought! Kudos for recognizing my supreme awesomeness. (0)

I need a cool name for my new computer rig (to be set up today). Best suggestions I have so far are Mr. Awesome, KillJoy and Woman-Stomper. (0)

Yeah let me lose a day's work waiting from 9AM to 7PM just to sign for a UPS package. Brilliant! (0)

Stupid moron UPS driver would not leave my computer package with my neighbor despite my explicit instructions to do so. UPS EPIC FAIL. (0)

Just got handed a warrant for a John Doe. Seriously? Who's next, Darth Vader? (0)

AHHHH, the printer I bought last week just dropped $40 in price today! Just a few more days and I could have saved $40, MOTHER- *bleep* (0)

Listening to Vivaldi's Four Seasons. This always makes me want to prance around for some reason. (0)

MGM just offered me $2500 to advertise them if I only had enough traffic, instead the most I can make is $2.33. I'm gonna go hang myself now (0)

Just listened to Miley Cyrus's version of Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. My God, she needs to be arrested for butchering Lauper's song. FAIL (2)

I miss Boston. :-( Being there was... more than a feeling. (1)

You know why Helen Keller was a bad driver? Because she was a woman. (0)

"The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her." - A Very Smart Dude (0)

Ever wonder why the air sometimes blows from the back of the room to the front? It's because you SUCK. (0)

You know, I really do think Jessie is a good friend of mine, but lately something's changed... (0)

I have finally found the love of my life: Me. :-D (0)

So all this hoopla over the Oscars wins and not one mention of My Name is Bruce. What an utter travesty. (0)

I just finished a brisk walk through Central Park. At midnight. I... am... AWESOME. (0)

So the prettiest vidblogger I follow online posts a video of her dabbling in geocaching... from 3000 miles away. I think God hates me. (0)

Enjoying Sicilian pizza and a pint of spumoni from L & B Spumoni Gardens in Brooklyn. LOVE (0)

Women always want to be told the truth until they hear it. -- Dr. Laura (0)

So I told 5 people I would be off from work yesterday. I come in today and nobody realizes I would be off. Does anyone not listen to me? (0)

Currently checking myself in a mirror. Ya know, I'm looking pretty darned awesome today. B-) (0)

Hmmm, I've lost five Facebook friends since mentioning my reporting of whores who upload whorey photos on there. Guilty conscience? :-) (0)

Currently having fun reporting terms of service violations on women who post whorish photos of themselves in Facebook. :-) (0)

Wise man say: women are like parking spaces, the good spaces are taken and the rest are handicapped. Heh. (0)

Dark in the city, night is a wire, steam in the subway, earth is afire, do-do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do, do do do, do do... (0)

Sometimes I wonder if I'm not just a younger version of Epic Beard Man. (0)

I'm starting to think people only have children so they'd have an excuse to go to Disney World without looking creepy. (0)