I walked into firearms division with a broad grin on my face.

“What, Linc.”

I grinned for a few more seconds and then said, “I would like to apply for a gun permit.”

I was met with a chorus of groans.  They know me so well. 

“Oh come now, as a citizen of this great country of ours, it is my constitutional right to be packing heat if  so desire!  I request, nay, I demand that you honor that right__”

An application booklet was tossed in my face.

“Easy, sheesh…” 

“Don’t forget you need 4 character references, and you’ll need to have it notarized too.”

“….cha–rac–ter… ref–er–ren–ces…” I repeated blankly.

“People who can vouch for you not being a whack job, and no we’re certainly not gonna do it since we know you.  Besides we’re not allowed.  You can use your co-workers though.”

“And you’ll give me full carry right?  Right, right, right?”  I jumped up and down.

“Go away please.”

I raced back to my section.

“Hey guys, can I use you as references so I can get a gun permit?”

Another chorus of groans.

“What is everybody constipated today?  Just sign the damned thing please.  I want my Beretta!”

I got 3 to sign in and offered the pen to my last co-worker, Mick.

“Are you kidding me??”  He scoffed.  “I think I’ll pass.”

“Well look at it this way.  If I couldn’t get a pistol license because you refused to vouch for me, I’ll just get a shotgun instead, and there’s no license required for that.  So which would you rather I have?”

He blinked a few times. 

“Gimme the pen.”