Here’s a collection of Anti-Valentine related quotes I’ve found around the web. I think I like the last one the best. :-D
If it weren’t for you I’d be a different person, maybe even happy.
If your phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.
I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost as if you’re here.
You had me at HELL no!
Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma.
I feel much better now that I’ve given up hope.
I haven’t spoken to my girlfriend in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question?
My girlfriend has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you love, affection and comfort? Me neither.
If you can think of anymore, post them in the comments.
My favorite is the second one. “If your phone doesn’t ring, it’s me.” I need to use that one on a couple of guys in fact. hehehe.
Btw, I sent you an email. Did you get it?
yes i leke it
Well, my husband and I say this to each other from time to time after we hear the other tell a joke:
“You’re so funny! But looks aren’t everything.”
I’ll have to remember that one. :-D
A man is like a fine wine. He starts out raw as grapes and it’s a woman’s job to stomp on him and keep him in the dark until he matures into something she’d like to have dinner with.
LOL. I’ll be fair. Here’s one for the men.
For sale: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. (Got married last weekend, wife knows everything).
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Oh, God. Tee just about made me pee.
TEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am disappointed that you gave another just to be fair. LOL!!!
I like Tee. :-D
But my heart will always have a soft spot for U as well.
HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i fell in love at first site…then he turned
around and i was GONE!!!!
More like single awareness day!!!
here are a few which make me chuckle:
“I’m so glad we hooked up again, I’d almost forgotten what it feels like to be unimportant”
“With you I can be anything. I choose invisible.”
“Valentine’s Day is like herpes, always coming back to say I told you so”
Thank you for the being sane!
“You had me at Hell No!”…FUNNY
You’re welcome, I wish I could find more but they’re mostly anti-love quotes rather than anti-Valentine. ;)
“Valentine’s Day is like herpes: just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more. No wonder some people prefer to call it VD.”
Hey cupid! I got your arrows…you useless flying half naked midget bastard!
Death to the Fluffy Hearts , Down with the injustice of the Candy Giant … VIVA LA FREEDOM!!!
If I See Cupid… Im Gonna Swat Him Out Of The Air And Stomp Him Out….. For Shooting Me With Ever So Popular… Heres Another Dirty Whore Arrow
OMG Valentine’s day is today? Dammit, I forgot to get a boyfriend again.
lmfao sorry Molly but I stole your post and used it on Facebook hahaha. Made me laugh for the first time today ^_^
I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. I mean, when I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming to me with a weapon!smh
On the other hand, Valentine’s day was originally about a massacre. That sounds about right to me. :D