An Early Christmas Present

As each year draws to a close, I find myself losing more and more hope that I’ll ever find my future beloved. She exists only in a dream, her warmth and love such that only a woman can give was something I would never experience in real life. Any experience I’ve had with the opposite sex have instead always resulted in my heart being ripped out and torn to shreds.

But then something happened on Friday that infused me with a renewed sense of hope. It started when I received some white chocolate treats from a coworker, a pretty brunette I once had a major crush on, until she of course fell in love with another coworker and promptly married him a few months later. :wall:

“Wow, thanks Karen, these are great!” Then in passing I mentioned that while I liked white chocolate, dark chocolate was actually my favorite.

So she went home and made a fresh new batch of dark chocolate, just for me. I couldn’t believe it.

“Karen, you didn’t have to do this! I was just teasing!”

“It’s ok, I wanted to.”

I was stunned. This act of charity was truly unexpected and something I never thought would come from her.

Later that evening, I checked the latest video of TV Squad Daily, hosted by the stunningly gorgeous Brigitte Dale. I made a somewhat tongue in cheek comment a few days before asking her to sing a Christmas song, and to my complete surprise, she actually answered that request in her next video (beginning 00:34 seconds in):

Too bad she didn’t post my blog address though. Still, it was a much welcome gesture, especially coming from someone who is quickly coming close to taking the same throne once occupied by Jessica Alba. Ok, that’s enough dreaming now, Linc-O. :slap:

In any event, these two acts of goodwill went a long way in taking the bite out of what had otherwise been a stingy Christmas season for me. 2007 had been a terrible year, both health wise and spiritual wise. I needed to believe that better times were ahead, and I’ve been holding dearly on to the hope that 2008 will finally be THE year where everything will change, and where the identity of the mystery blonde will finally be revealed.

I still have a long and grueling road ahead of me though, and the outcome is still uncertain. Yet these two beautiful women collectively gave me the best Christmas gift I could ever ask for: hope.

I thank God for this renewed sense of hope and purpose, as it carries me through this Christmas season and into the dawn of a new era.

Tags: acts, brigitte dale, brunette, charity, Christmas, christmas season, christmas song, coworker. christmas song, dark chocolate, dream girl, few days, future, gesture, gift, God, goodwill, hope, jessica alba, love, new year, romance, shreds, slap, surprise, tongue in cheek, tv squad, warmth, white chocolate, women
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log

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8 Responses to “An Early Christmas Present”

Chad Smith wrote a comment on December 23, 2007 @ 02:03:pm
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Linc,

I feel your pain. 2 Christmases ago, I felt the exact same way. Last Christmas I spent with the woman that would become my wife. This Christmas she is saying she wants out.

While this might not sound encouraging, I want to pass this along. Things can change in a moment. My wife found me - out of the blue - and the next thing you know I’m married. So that’s encouragement number one.

Encouragement number two - DO NOT RUSH THINGS. I cannot speak for you, but I know for me that being alone for a long time made me want to rush through all the “preliminary stuff” and jump right into marriage. Bad move. I’m not saying I don’t love my wife - I do and I am trying to work things out - but I know for a fact that us rushing down the aisle has almost, if not completely, killed any chance we had at being happy together. Even though we had known each other for most of our lives (we met in Jr High - long story) - we got married as strangers that had less than 5 actual dates. (Long distance relationship over the phone - then *bam* wedding.)

Don’t do that. Don’t think the next girl that goes out with you has to be “THE ONE”. I know, you’ll want her to be. I know you’ll gloss over any imperfections (read MAJOR PROBLEMS) in her or you or the relationship because you want so badly for this to work. Don’t do that. Go out. Have fun, GET TO KNOW HER. Take your time. There’s no deadline on when you have to get married. It’s not like if you aren’t married by the time you are ____ years old, you’ll never get married. That’s silly. And getting married just because you don’t want to be alone is unfair both to you and your wife. I don’t know if that’s what I did, but I know we rushed and we shouldn’t have. Now, less than six months after we pledged to spend our lives together - she’s never home and she has told everyone, including our neighbors, our pastor, and me, that she is leaving.

That’s a pain far worse than being lonely.

“Tis better to have loved and lost…” Maybe - but make sure you aren’t going to lose before you say I Do. It make take time - but it’s worth the wait if you really love her. If you are meant to be together - it will happen. Don’t push it.

Sorry if I’m projecting here. I just so identified with your post. It sounded just like me 18 months ago. And possibly like me 18 months from now. Don’t rush. Don’t settle. Don’t think that just because she said “yes” that means she’s “the one”.

And, don’t give up hope. If you have the desire to get married - then God will provide a wife for you. Just make sure you are ready to be a husband. I can honestly say that I was not. I thought I was. I was wrong. Just be the best you that you can be, and leave the rest to God.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on December 23, 2007 @ 02:47:pm
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Great comment Chad. Thanks for that. :up:

Even though I’m hurting for love here, I’m actually not in a rush to get married. I do want to get to know her first and MAKE sure she’s the one. I just hope I haven’t developed such unreasonable expectations over the years that I end up trying to find the perfect girl, instead of just trying to find someone who’s perfect FOR ME (and vice versa).

I have to admit though that I’ve been sorely tempted at times to say #$%^ it, and just stick with the first girl who comes along and pays any attention to me. Because if that’s the first time in 30 years someone has ever shown any interest in me, it would probably never happen again, and she doesn’t end up being the one, that’s the best I’m ever gonna do anyway.

Thanks for reminding me just how wrong having an attitude like that can be. :wideeyed:

Christine wrote a comment on December 23, 2007 @ 03:37:pm
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She’s out there Linc, really. Maybe even eating a veggie sub Have a great Christmas!!

Click for Nick wrote a comment on December 23, 2007 @ 05:00:pm
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Thanks for requesting the nice Christmas song!

Simple Mindz wrote a comment on December 23, 2007 @ 05:14:pm
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That was a really nice story. I know just what you mean when you talk about “finding the love of your life.” I found mine once and it was short lived. But it was truly the most spiritual experience I ever had - even though, the break completely ripped apart my heart. (and made me forever bitter…lol)
I always am thankful for being allowed to feel what true love was like.