The Habitation of Justice

Why The Christmas Spirit Left Me Like a Cheap Ho

Lincoln Adams — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 13:00:19 +0000

There used to be a time in my life when Christmas actually FELT like Christmas. I used to get into it so much that I would get out my Christmas tree and start decorating before even Halloween itself came around, much less the holiday season.

The magic in the air was just intoxicating, and I could always smell the fresh, sweet aroma of evergreen everywhere I went. Lights would twinkle, while carolers jingled, and sometimes if we had a cooler than normal season, we’d even get snow to complete the ensemble. And of course there was my favorite tradition of all time: the mistletoe.

Yep, it was that time of year that made me prance me around like Pee Wee Herman in blissful joy joy happiness.

But then something happened. Year after year we would go through the same ritual as before, but the magic was somehow gone. I just couldn’t experience the joys of celebrating the season like I used to. Somewhere along the line, I had grown up.

I went from the little kid who would breathlessly wait for Christmas morning to come before flying to the living room at breakneck speed to open his presents, to someone who was now spending every Christmas season, alone.

Oh, so very alone.

It didn’t seem fair that my favorite season had to be ruined each passing year just because I didn’t have anyone special in my life. That shouldn’t have to matter, right? But it does, somehow. It always matters, especially around this time of year. I always thought about what I was missing, not about what I already had, and yet no matter how hard I tried, the despair of loneliness just couldn’t be fended off, and it would drop over my spirit like a wet, smothering blanket.

Christmas was now a time that made me yearn for a life where I could share these precious moments with her, whoever she was. I wanted to see her laugh every time a Chipmunks song came on. I wanted to see her eyes twinkle as she hung ornaments on our tree. I wanted to see her hold me close as we danced and kissed under the mistletoe. These were moments I could see only in fragmented dreams, in visions that would tease me with promises of happiness and love, only to fade away to the dark realities of my failed existence.

But still I hoped. Still I push on, ever forward, ever hoping that dreams do indeed come true, and that one day, some day, I will see the Christmas stars of a wish come true reflected in her beautiful eyes.

Some day…

A Contract in Limbo

Lincoln Adams — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 15:01:38 +0000

A recent morning conversation at work:

“Dude, what is up with our union contract? Is it still in arbitration?”

“Yep.”

“Well I’m getting sick of this cloak and dagger crap and them telling us nothing about nothing. I want to see what it looks like so far.”

“Why?”

“I wanna know what my rights are.”

“Oh that’s easy. You don’t have any.”

Whoever said women fall quickly in love was smoking serious crack

Lincoln Adams — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 04:18:46 +0000

Generally, it takes ten years for a woman to fall in love with a man. I’m serious people, this is science, look it up.

Things might move along a wee little faster though if you put some muscle into it and work 24/7 to get a girl to fall for you. Then perhaps after spending enough time, effort, money, (and then a little more money), and much sweating of blood and tears, she will finally deem you worthy of her love. Maybe.

But in the meantime you have to do all the heavy lifting, huffing and puffing your way into her heart, and if you’re a sensible enough guy you might start thinking somewhere along the way, “What woman short of Queen Esther herself would be worth all this aggravation?”

I mean really.

I look at creation and all I see is an ocean of women who are self centered, fickle, manipulative, ball crushing, man hating hell-beasts that were handcrafted in the bowels of perdition by the iniquitous and the vile.

But for most guys, they’re perfectly willing to traverse this minefield as long as it gets them the BOOTY. The acquisition of booty has therefore become the driving force of their existence. But for a Christian guy like me, it’s not the booty I want, it’s the luuuuuuuuuuuuurv. But women today, for whatever reason seem to be far more willing to give over their bodies than they are in giving over their hearts. Maybe it’s because they have no heart to begin with?

I might indeed be the last of my kind, a guy who wants romance and love and lots of wubbly snuggles, but in this day and age, there seems to be no one left who can truly fulfill those needs. When I look at a girl, there never seems to be anything compelling about her that would make her worth the effort, or worth the chase. And the thing that really kills it for me is the utter lack of empathy. There’s just no warmth, no sense of caring, no concern about my life or interest in me as a person. If I poured out my heart to them they would be unmoved by it all. They just don’t care. They’re lukewarm, neither hot nor cold.

So why would I want to fight for a woman like that? You could be more beautiful than a setting sun, but if you have a heart of stone, if you give me absolutely no incentive to make it worth my while, why should I even bother? I’m the kind of guy who just wants to hear these words:

It’s hearing that kind of heart, that kind of passion that would tell me you’re worth fighting for, indeed worth moving even heaven and earth for. But I fear those words will never come.

Yeah, I think it’s time I gave up this silly dream of finding my soulmate and true love and whatnot, and finally moved on with my life, even if that means having to juice myself up with mega doses of Prozac just so I can numb out these feelings and keep them from consuming me.

Living the life of an emotional zombie has never looked better.

Invest Two Dollars, Get Back One!

Lincoln Adams — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 00:55:38 +0000

I’ve been spending the weekend exploring ways to bring more traffic to my site, which took me into the brave new world of domains. There’s an industry out there built on the notion that if you purchase enough old domains that once amassed a ton of backlinks and redirect these domains back to your website, it will give your site enough juice to bring in serious traffic.

The problem is, this whole domain business smacks of the stock market and gives me a bloody serious headache. There are literally hundreds of thousands of domains that expire (or are about to expire) every day, and sometimes you have to bid on them if they’re in high demand. Theoretically though, if you invest enough money into enough valuable domains, the dividends will make it worthwhile over the long run. So say I spend $1,000 on domains. If (and that’s a big IF) it brings in enough traffic that I end up making $500 a month in revenues as a result, I will have eventually gotten back what I invested after two months, and then some.

Here’s the thing though: every investment I have ever made in life has been a monumental failure with a capital F. Whether it was school or life or internet projects or relationships or whatnot, whatever I have purported to do in life has always resulted in ultimate FAIL.

So with that kind of batting average, do I really want to spend thousands of dollars grabbing up all kinds of domain names in the hopes that they will collectively bring me the kind of traffic I’ve been looking for?

See, that would work for other people, but not for me. Somehow, the laws of physics and economics all stop at my doorstep. You ever seen the show Lost? Well consider me the island. Once you’re on my shores, you can just forget about everything you’ve ever thought you knew about how the universe worked, because it’s all been rendered moot here. I am a walking wormhole of anomalies, a glitch in the system.

That’s why I’m kind of hesitant in blowing thousands of bucks on this new experiment, especially when I’m so close to paying off my debts too. I just want this blog to work out so badly, and the more I think about things and about finding another job or another career, the more I’d rather be out of the workforce altogether and be self-sufficient and self-employed, that way I can live anywhere and go anywhere. I don’t want to be stuck at one job in one place forever and ever. I need to MOVE, baby.

So, I don’t know. I think I’m just gonna leave this alone for now, and once all my debts have been squared off, I’ll come back to this and maybe think about making smaller investments instead of going all out, and see if it goes anywhere. I’m just so sick and tired of my 5 visits a day traffic that I’m just chomping at the bit to get SOMETHING going. Gaaaah.

Why does this bike look so familiar?

Lincoln Adams — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 22:31:00 +0000

It looks like my supermarket somehow got a hold of Pee Wee’s bike and decided to raffle it off.

I am thankful for nothing! NOTHING!

Lincoln Adams — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 13:00:34 +0000

And here I am once again arriving at another Thanksgiving, alone, empty, and even worse off than last year. What do I have to be thankful for? I’m still in a dead end job, I still haven’t found my dream girl, and now thanks to the Obamaton assbots who voted Antichrist-Lite into office, I can look forward to 4 years of misery so awful it will make me yearn for the Jimmy Carter years.

I have nothing to be thankful. NOTHING.

Well… at least I’ll soon be out of debt though, so I guess there’s that. And I have a job where I only have to work 4 days a week, so I guess I should be thankful for that too. And I have a nice car, a laptop, a desktop PC, two digital cameras, a fridge packed with food and a closet filled with clothes, and of course my incredibly designed blog as well. I also have two loving parents that still haven’t disowned me even when I accidentally set their car on fire. (And the kitchen too, after a failed baking experiment once.)

Ok, so maybe I do have a few things to be thankful for.

I guess I should take this time then to at least try and focus on the good things in my life instead of the bad. And out of all the good that I do have, the one thing I should be thankful for above everything else is having a God who is always watching out for me, even when I accuse Him of the most horrible things.

So thank you Lord for putting up with me, especially when You’re the only one who has the patience to do so. But who knows, maybe someday You’ll bring a girl into my life who will also have the kind of everlasting patience to put up with me as well.

I’m air banding it today

Lincoln Adams — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 14:00:39 +0000

I looked out this morning and the sun was gone, turned on some music to start my day, I lost myself in a familiar song, I closed my eyes and I slipped awaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…

It’s a miracle I haven’t been commited yet.

The Habitation of Justice

Why The Christmas Spirit Left Me Like a Cheap Ho

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A Contract in Limbo

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Whoever said women fall quickly in love was smoking serious crack

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Invest Two Dollars, Get Back One!

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Why does this bike look so familiar?

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I am thankful for nothing! NOTHING!

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I’m air banding it today

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