I’m getting fricking tired of hotels and agencies offering “getaways for two” deals while stiffing us singles. We have rights too, DAMMIT.

Categories: Asides
 
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Last day of November, and Dual STILL has not released their GPS cradle for the iPod. Great job guys! Guess I’ll get a Magellan kit instead.

Categories: Asides
 
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I’m obsessing over a scratch on my watch the size of a spec of dust because I think women will see it from 100 yards out and thus reject me.

Categories: Asides
 
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What’s next, condom dispensers in public restrooms? Oh wait…

Categories: Gone Mobile
 
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I know I’ve bashed eHarmony before, but this is the last and final time. Maybe.

For this last attempt and latest attempt in the world of online dating, I signed up for a discount special where I “only” have to pay $20 a month for 3 months. It was cheap enough that I figured what the heck, but of course after only the first month I was so disgusted that I wanted to cancel my subscription early. That’s when I found out that they would not refund the rest of my subscription since I had signed up under one of their discount specials, and as they clearly indicated on page 489, section 5G, Subdivision 23 of their terms of service (font needs to be enlarged by 200% to be readable), I am thus not eligible for a refund.

So I was stuck. I could cancel and lose money, or just keep it going until it finally expired, because hey, you never know right? … … …

Well today my subscription has finally expired, and here’s what I do know: I have amassed a total of over 800 failed matches. EIGHT HUNDRED. 800 land whales, man beasts, visa hunters, neurotic cracknuts and mothers with 5 kids looking for a new daddy, not to mention the horde of whores who closed me out because I wasn’t tall enough, rich enough, or didn’t have the courtesy of mentioning what car I drove. And then of course, the nonresponsive types that I would beg, plead and grovel to respond to a communication request I sent, and finally the nonpaying members with their stupid remarks at the end of their profiles: “Oh by the way I’m not a paying member, so even if you were my dream guy, I wouldn’t be able to contact you. Sorry!”

You know, if you tallied up my failed experiences with online dating since the beginning, I’m pretty sure it’s now over 1000. Seriously, at what point do I finally say, to #&*ing hell with this crap? I really thought online dating would be an answer to prayer. I wouldn’t have to go to bars or other seedy places with no other purpose on my mind than to get me a hottie. I wouldn’t have to go to church and raise my hand in worship while scoping the congregation for babes, only to realize that they’re all either 80 years old or married. At least on dating sites, I could find single women according to my personal preferences and beliefs. I didn’t have to make a shot in the dark on the distant hope that a complete stranger I met on the street would have everything I’m looking for. I didn’t have to worry that I would be judged and dismissed on my looks or preference for Old Navy clothes up front before a woman had a chance to know me. Online dating did away with all those potential roadblocks.

Well, no it didn’t.

What it introduced me to was the absolute worst humanity had to offer. Dating became akin to sifting through a Walmart circular, trying to find the best deals on products whose quality ratings were questionable at best. Women were discount grocery items that I would need to squeeze at times to see if they were still fresh, or just a little too ripe for my liking.

Is this really how I want to meet the girl of my dreams? That when people ask us how we met, I’d have to say it was through the Hoinky Boinkys R’ Us Dating Site for Stupid, Desperate Numbnuts? Pass.

So you know what, I’m done. I am DONE with this BULL .

I will never use an online dating site again. If I really want a NICE girl who is not bat guano crazy, I am just gonna have to get up off my lazy love biscuits and find her myself. And in the mean time I am just going to move on and live life the way I please. I’m not going to deprive myself of some of the great experiences life has to offer me just because I have no one to share that moment with.

I’ve been trapped in that thinking for too long, and it’s time now to turn over a new leaf and start a new chapter.

Tags: dating site, dating sites, eharmony, online dating, profiles, scam, whores, women
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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I would pay mad money to see Blade go up and slice Edward Cullen’s face off. Now that’s a crossover that would rake in the big bucks.

Categories: Asides
 
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