Recently I’ve had an epiphany about myself: I hate people. I’ve never been much of a people person, but lately it’s reaching the point where I don’t merely prefer just to be alone, I also want the lot of humanity to be dropped into a supersized vat of boiling vegetable oil. Almost everyone these days…

When a guy lives with his parents for so… very… agonizingly… long… he tends to take certain things for granted. While I contributed to paying for most of the rent and bills, Mommy would always pretty much take care of the rest. All those basic necessities of life (like toilet paper) would magically replenish itself…