I need to find a good girl who can deal with a bad boy like me. Someone who loves her Mamma, loves Jesus, and America too.

Categories: Asides
 
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Recently I’ve had an epiphany about myself: I hate people.

I’ve never been much of a people person, but lately it’s reaching the point where I don’t merely prefer just to be alone, I also want the lot of humanity to be dropped into a supersized vat of boiling vegetable oil.

Almost everyone these days (except for a select few) tend to put me in a mood where I’d like to rip their tongues out with wooden tonsils and then smack them around in the face with it. My God people, at least make some sense to me when you try to engage me in conversation. I don’t begrudge a dissenting view on topics of any flavor, but if you’re going to be more incoherent than Paula Abdul after she’s had 10 bottles of whiskey, then don’t be surprised if the next thing you see is me launching a coffee mug in your direction at 90 miles an hour just so I can get you to SHUT THE $%& UP.

I’ve been stewing over this for some time now, but it seems like the more I befriend people, the more it occurs to me that either I am some kind of magnet for the batpoopie insane, or the world really has gone stark raving, cracknuts mad. I’m betting it’s the latter.

These days I’m ready to toss in the towel, buy up a crapload of first person shooter/adventure games and immerse myself in another world completely just so I can get away from this freak show called real life. At least for say, the next 10 years.

Tags: epiphany, hermit, humanity, insane, life, nuts, people, world
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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Dear North Korea: If you’re going to fire a nuke at us, can you aim for San Francisco instead of Hawaii? Muchos gracias!

Categories: Asides
 
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Dear Minnesota: Screw all of you half canuck suck-bags for being the ugliest, brain deadest rat’s farts on God’s green earth. Love, Lincoln

Categories: Asides
 
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Why no Elton John, I am NOT feeling the love tonight, so sod off you platform shoe wear nozzle brain.

Categories: Asides
 
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So the MN Supreme Court apparently ruled for Franken. I think I’m done reading the news for the next 30 years. Wake me when NYC gets nuked.

Categories: Asides
 
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