I last redesigned my blog in July ‘08, resulting in a sleeker look and faster load times, and I thought all was finally right with the world… until I got an email from a friend asking me what in the name of creation did I do to my site.  She mentioned coming here and not knowing what it was about, that the design gave too much space to ads, and she couldn’t see ME here anymore, and the content just wasn’t enticing enough to draw her in and read more.

After I stopped crying for a few hours, I decided that she had a point, though I wonder just how many people actually come away with this impression.  Does my site’s design confuse you, or do you know right away when you visit here that you’re reading a personal blog?  Do you get what the site is about?  Is the look aesthetically pleasing, or do you find it cumbersome and difficult to scan?

Regardless, I’m eventually I’m planning to do another redesign, this time with a more magazine-type layout (similar to this site maybe) but looking at all the themes out there, I end up getting nauseous and having the overwhelming urge to drink heavily (like Mountain Dew mixed with Dr. Pepper.)

In the meantime, if you ever visited a blog and came away with the impression “Wow, that blog was nicely designed!” let me know in the comments.  I might take a look at it and see if it can provide some inspiration of how my future design might look.

Tags: blog, design, inspiration, redesign, theme, themes
Categories: Blog Fog
 
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Yep, I moved to yet another hosting service, and I’m glad I did. Saved $38 a month and the new server is BLAZING. Thank God!

Categories: Asides
 
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I lead a charmed life.

So I’m just minding my own business and checking my email, when I get this alert from a Christian pastor I know.  He feels a great calamity is about to occur soon, causing massive fires in New York City that will spread out even to New Jersey and Connecticut, along with lootings and riotings in major cities worldwide.

If it had been anyone else I would have immediately dismissed him as a quack and merrily gone on my way.  But he had warned about the real estate crash and about the financial crisis we’re experiencing now since the early 90s and was right on both counts.  The fires he feels will happen soon is something he had been warning about for several years.  God’s judgment.

Whether you believe this or not, the email left me sinking into a pit of despair, even though it was meant to be sent as an encouragement to believers with the knowledge that God is still in control and will provide even in times of major distress.

But if there’s one thing that could define just why I feel so out of place in this world, that email sums it up.  It’s not something I can share around the water cooler at work with non-believers, lest they think I was dropping acid.  I try talk to other Christians about it but their heads are so far up the hairy flesh balls of Rick Warren that I might as well be speaking Klingon.

I could just say screw it, nothing’s gonna happen, we’re all right as rain here, but in my heart I know it isn’t true.  We’re in for some very hard times ahead, and there is virtually no one out there with whom I can confide in and share my feelings with about this without coming across as a cracknut to them.  And who knows, maybe nothing will happen, and in His mercy God will grant us a reprieve.  But can I not even have a conversation about this with others without getting strange looks or being laughed at?

People are often perplexed as to why I remain single, but this is a big reason why.  I see things that no one else does.  I believe things that no one else believes.  It isolates me from others, and I often have to keep people at arm’s length simply because once they knew the real me, they would either hate me dead or run away, or both.  And that’s fine.  I’m not looking to be the life of the party here.  A friend and a lover is all I’ve ever wanted.  While others need to be surrounded by people to the extent that they even use a ranking system for the best friends they have (BFF1 BFF2, etc. – WT*?!?), I would be more than happy having just one true friend.

We pride ourselves on our individuality, but the truth is most people are sheep, and would choose conformity over being unique so long as it meant not having to be alone.  That’s why most Christians today are merely nominal in their faith.  Their beliefs are so generic and ultimately meaningless that the only way I can get along with them is by completely leaving God out of the picture.  As long as we don’t talk about God or spiritual things, we’re a-ok.  God is somebody they treat as an equal, someone who is reduced to commercial slogans (Got Milk? becomes Got Jesus?) or a drug high, as if the experience of serving the Creator was tantamount to getting a heroin fix.   I’ve never understood this mentality, and yet every time I’ve challenged it, it’s resulted in near violence.  So I simply keep my beliefs to myself in order to maintain the peace.  People don’t want to hear it.

And now I have to deal with these new set of emotions brought on by this possible revelation of calamity that may soon come upon us, topped off with the fact that I’ve been feeling pretty lousy and fatigued for eons now, and facing a bleak future for which it would seem pointless to even hope of building a new life for myself, much less one that would include a special girl who can truly love me for who I am (who I REALLY am.)

I lead a charmed life.

Tags: best friend, calamity, christian, Christians, depression, despair, emotions, faith, feelings, financial, financial crisis, fires, friends, God, health, judgment, new york city, pastor, rick warren, violence
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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I did a short groceries run at the supermarket today for some cold cuts and bagels, then skipped over to the drinks section.

Let’s see, Pepsi Max… Pepsi Max… Pepsi Max… ah here we go…

I grabbed a couple of bottles and just happened to look to my left when I saw a pretty girl looking right at me, and smiling.  She had long flowing, dark auburn hair and a cute Irish look about her, her cart holding a baby carriage that was obviously not empty judging from the cooing sounds I heard.

So naturally I did what I always do when I see a very pretty looking girl smiling ever so sweetly in my general direction:  I looked behind me.  There was no one around.

“Wow, she really was smiling at me…”  I turned back again, but she was already gone.

Sigh.

Let’s see, Mountain Dew… Mountain Dew… Mountain Dew… ah here we go…

Tags: bagels, cold cuts, cute, drinks, groceries, irish, mountain dew, pepsi, pepsi max, pretty, pretty girl, supermarket
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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My mother wanted to go over her heirlooms with me and I quickly asked her how much I could get for it all on eBay. If looks could kill…

Categories: Asides
 
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*Sigh* I tried to daydream today, but my mind kept wandering.

Categories: Asides
 
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