Monthly Archives: June 2008

Why I’m Giving Up On Christians

In spite of how difficult it’s become trying to find a nice Christian girl with enough moral fiber not to go a-whoring around town every night, I’ve always believed that if I just dug hard enough through the compost heap of life, I’d eventually find my jewel. With that in mind, there’s an old-time Christian…

Exploring My Psyche

Slow Dancer

I’ve been checking out OKCupid lately, and I have to admit there’s something to be said for their personality quizzes, which are fun to take. I don’t care for some of the raunchiness (the Slut Test?), but the results I got from taking their dating persona test intrigued me, considering the fact that it pegged…

Dead Men Tell No Jokes

We have a clipboard in our section that shows a list of the latest death notices for workers or workers’ relatives who recently passed away. I noticed one woman had a tendency to check the list every day when she walked by our section. She was doing it again today, so I said: “Checking to…

Why Do Dreams Go Unfulfilled While Nightmares Come to Life?

A friend of mine recently sent me this humorous cartoon, evidently seeing parallels between the comic strip and my nonexistent dating life. Such a kidder he is (who should be thankful I don’t live close by as I would have kicked the little bastard snot in the face.) First of all, it’s not nearly accurate…

“Lonely Teacher Looks For Loving Pet”

Is it me, or does it seem like women are getting married at earlier and earlier ages these days? Or am I just getting older and older? I blame Christians for this (naturally), particularly those within the Bible Belt who push to get their daughters married by the time they’re 18, so by the time…

Abandon My Church? YES I CAN!

So it seems like B. Hussein Osama Obama has finally resigned from his cracknuts church. I didn’t even know you could resign from a church, but besides that, didn’t he say he couldn’t disown Wright or his church anymore than he could his own family? I guess I must have missed the last part, “…unless…

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