He’s wearing a keffiyeh!

I love Michelle Malkin but I just couldn’t resist.

Tags: funny, indiana jones, keffiyeh, symbolism, terrorism
Categories: Comic Relief
 
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Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaay beeeeeeeeeee
If I praaaaaaaaaay eveeeeeeerry niiiiiiiight,
You’ll come back tOoOoOoooOooOoOo meeeeeeeeee! 

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaay beeeeeeeeeee
If I crrrrry eveeeeeeeeeeeeryday,

You’ll come back toOOoOoooooOOO staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay,
OooOoOooOhhhh, maybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

****************************

I’ve prayed and prayed,
To the Lord,
To send you back myyyyyyyyy looooOOOoooOve,

Buuuuuuut instead, you came to meeeeeeeeeee,
OoOoOoOOooOOoOnly in myyyyyyyy dreeeeeeaaaaaams!

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaay beeeeeeeeeee
If I praaaaaaaaaay eveeeeeeerry niiiiiiiight,
You’ll come back tOoOoOoooOooOoOo meeeeeeeeee! 

Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaay beeeeeeeeeee
If I crrrrry eveeeeeeeeeeeeryday,

You’ll come back toOOoOoooooOOO staaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay,
OooOoOooOhhhh, maybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Care to guess what I’ve been praying for lately? 

Tags: chantels, dreams, love, prayer, praying
Categories: Comic Relief, Romance and Relationships
 
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I love this site.

Longtime readers might remember my brief experience with Uptown Girl, who I had met through a dating site and was just getting to know when she blew me off unexpectedly, this after sending her flowers for her birthday too, but of course. I never understood why, but I should have figured she would go cold on me sooner or later. She was a Christian after all, and you know how warm and fuzzy them Chrischuns can get, a’ight?

This site however attempts to provide closure for people like me who constantly get blown off by the opposite sex. They work by acting as an intermediary and sending the… (Blower-Offer?) a friendly and easy to fill out survey so they can explain their actions, but without having to deal with the Blower-Offeree(?) directly.

It would be nice at least to know if there was something specific I might have done wrong to scare her off, that way maybe I can learn to avoid making the same mistakes next time. I submitted my own investigation request, so let’s see what the little bitch has to say for herself.

If she still doesn’t respond, I could always send her a bill for the flowers instead.

Tags: blown off, dating, dissed, uptown girl, women suck
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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There’s been another “revival” going down in Florida (it’s always Florida) where people have been experiencing healings and miracles and walking away with gold teeth even. (Really, gold teeth now? Why not drop some gold bonds into our laps instead? Seems that would be far more constructive than having to get one of my chompers ripped out just so I can cash in on some heavenly manna.)

Anyway… at least one healing allegedly went awry though when a pastor suffering from bone cancer died only a week later after he was pronounced healed by the repugnant looking Todd Bentley (really dude, how much metal can you possibly jam into your eyebrows there? Though I guess I shouldn’t say anything, since God supposedly told you to mutilate your body… repeatedly… all for His glory I’m sure.)

After I chimed in with my own thoughts on the story at Word N’ Verse, I noticed a comment in response to Isaiah’s post that to put it mildly, was bonknuts insane:

…But blame shifting is not the answer my friend. Todd Bentley believe that God’s word is true – just as you do. Therefore, he can say without any doubt that, “We are healed.” Todd is not the healer. God is. And we are not Todd’s judge. God is.

Good grief what an idiot. Supposing Larry Reed’s story is true (I can’t confirm whether it is), it’s obvious in this context Bentley was declaring that Reed was physically healed, and wasn’t merely speaking in metaphorical terms. Reed after all didn’t make that trip just so he could be reassured that we’re all metaphorically/spiritually healed in Christ, ‘Praise the Lord, Amen’ and all that jazz. He was looking for an actual HEALING.

Bentley made a false declaration, plain and simple. To infer that he was speaking merely in metaphorical terms is ridiculous and offensive.

So what went wrong then? I don’t know, maybe the angels that were assigned to do Reed’s healing were too busy gathering money from the four corners of the earth to support Bentley’s lifestyle that they just couldn’t get to the poor guy in time.

Seriously, this guy is like a Harley Davidson version of Benny Hinn, and you’d think by now people would finally warm up to the shenanigans of these holy rolling scam artists and realize how they’ve been getting jerked around all these years. But nope, proclamations of meeting up with Paul in heaven and conversing with girlie angels named Emma only has the masses begging for more.

Although…. I wonder if Emma is single? Hey, I always believed the girl of my dreams would be an angel from heaven, so maybe if Bentley Boy can hook me up, I might decide not to be so critical of his ministry.

Nah, I’ll do it myself, *picks up cell phone*

“Hello, Information? Give me Jesus on the line….”

Tags: apostasy, benny hinn, counterfeit, fake, false, healings, heresies, lakeland revival, miracles, todd bentley
Categories: Christians Gone Wild
 
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I had one of those nights where I would wake up early, look at the clock… and then go right back to sleep again.

Actually it’s like that every night, only I did it three times in a row today. When I finally did get up, it was a race against time as I blazed down the highways at warp speed so I wouldn’t be late for work. Considering how close I was already cutting it, I probably shouldn’t have stopped by the local market to pick up some DVD rentals and grub on the way.

I snuck inside 15 minutes late, checked the logbook and noticed no one had signed in since 9AM.

Hmmmmmmmm….

So I signed in an hour before my shift was slated to start, then messed up my desk to make it look like I had already been here for a while.

Looks like I’ll be going home early tonight, just in time for the holiday weekend too.

Tags: job, late, logbook, sleep, time
Categories: In The Coal Mine
 
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Tee hee…

…Lifelock customers in Maryland, New Jersey and West Virginia are suing Davis, claiming his service didn’t work as promised and he knew it wouldn’t, because the service had failed even him.

Attorney David Paris said he found records of other people applying for or receiving driver’s licenses at least 20 times using Davis’ Social Security number, though some of the applications may have been rejected because data in them didn’t match what the Social Security Administration had on file.

Davis acknowledged in an interview with The Associated Press that his stunt has led to at least 87 instances in which people have tried to steal his identity, and one succeeded: a guy in Texas who duped an online payday loan operation last year into giving him $500 using Davis’ Social Security number. (Source: Wired News)

I really have no comment other than to say there really is no such thing as security, and greedy lawyers totally suck the big one.

Tags: fraud, identity theft, lawsuit, lifelock, security
Categories: News Fit To Blog
 
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