Found an interesting Dear Dr. Graham letter in an advice column today:

Dear Dr. Graham: I’ve fallen in love with a woman I work with, and I sincerely believe God brought us together.

But my wife got very upset when she found out and I told her I wanted a divorce.

What a sad world we live in when even our own wives try to get in the way of true love.

Tags: adultery, funny, love, marriage, stupid
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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*Yawn* 

Can’t believe I woke up at one today.  12 hours of sleep and I’m still tired, and on top of that I had to wake up with a neck cramp too.    Now I can’t turn all the way to the left without pain shooting into my eyeballs and screaming like a wild animal.

Ah well, at least I finished my latest blogging errands, including signing up for the Pepperjam network, which will probably mark my last attempt to see if I can garner any kind of success with an affiliate network.  Yeah yeah I know I said I’ll never be an affiliate marketer, but like I also said, I’m willing to make exceptions for products I actually use myself or are of high quality.  And since a lot people have reported great success with Pepperjam, I decided to give it a try as well and signed up for a few programs.  Right now I have them rotating in a 125×125 banner on the top left sidebar, so feel free to check them out.  A few of them are for sites offering camping, military and law enforcement gear as well.  Things like backpacks, pepper spray, Kevlar vests, scopes for snipe rifles, etc.  You know, fuzzy wuzzy stuff. 

I’ll probably wean out these programs over time if I don’t see any results with them, but I suspect the best performing one may turn out to be Whitesmoke, an All-in-One Writing Solution that might be the perfect complement for blogging.  It will correct grammar, spelling and even suggest better adjectives to help enrich your writing experience.  If I wasn’t such a superb writer already, I might actually spring for the software myself. 

I also signed up for two new advertising networks to fill my ad vacancies, since Project Wonderful has done a really poor job of filling my spots lately, and most of the requests I’ve gotten were always for craptastic webcomics that only start making sense to you after you’ve had about 5 beers.

As soon as I set up my site to receive the new ads, WOW what a difference.  I was now getting my ad spots filled from major, high quality advertisers, most of whose products I was already using too.  It was perfect.  Not only that, I could set the rates at whatever prices I wanted, though obviously I can’t set it too high or my spots would never get filled.  Still, where before I was only making 15 to 20 cents a day with Project Wonderful, I’m now making around $1 a day with these networks. 

Probably won’t last though. I know my luck. 

Tags: advertising, advertising networks, affiliate marketing, blogging, cramps, monetizing, pepperjam, project wonderful, sleep, whitesmoke
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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The Kat House wants to put me in the dog house by tagging me with an embarassing posts meme (originally started by Christie’s Coffee Break).

You know, I really wish people would stop tagging me with silly memes and send me money instead. Or maybe a MacBook. Or the phone numbers of hot girls I’m currently stalking. You know, things I could actually use.

It’s a shame my blog can’t grow legs and run for its life whenever someone sets their sights on dropping a meme on me, especially when it requires highlighting embarrassing posts like this one does. That’s like asking me to find a drop of water in an ocean. Where does one even begin to choose from the many splendored goofs I’ve made here, starting with my offhand mention of twirling and dancing to the tune of Air Supply songs, to the time I once bid for a fake girlfriend on eBay? (…wait a second, I never wrote about that…. DAMMIT)

I think part of the problem is that I’ve never really experienced an embarrassing moment so much as I’ve had long stretches of humiliation that could last anywhere from a few months to several years. How can something like that be summed up in a mere handful of posts? I’d have to write a whole book instead.

Perhaps I should write a book, working title: “You think YOU got it bad??”

Tags: embarassing, embarrassing moment, embarrassment, humiliation, memes
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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Whoever thought tags was a wonderful idea for blogging and everything else on the internet should be shot, strung up, skinned, then burned alive.

It’s getting to that I can’t even talk on the phone anymore without thinking up tags to describe the conversation I’m having.

You know, back in the days before dweebie sites like Technorati existed, I used to actually have fun blogging. And then I discovered a few tagging plugins and thought, “Neato, now I can add tags to my blog and give myself a much needed SEO boost! After all, that’s what all the blogging experts are saying!”

Memo to self: Blogging experts are evil bastards who work for Satan and give us bad ass tips on purpose so they can maintain their status as a-list bloggers, while the rest of us continue to trudge around in internet obscurity. Of this I am now utterly convinced.

Because now, instead of being able to just fire off a quick post while I’m in the moment, I have to think up appropriate tags for it as well. Now I absolutely dread to blog because I know sooner or later, I’m gonna have to tag what I wrote.

“Is this tag too generic, or too specific? Did I use too many tags for this post, or not enough? How many synonyms should I use? Was this tag descriptive enough? Is Google gonna hurt me bad because I’m tag bloating my blog?”

I’m ready to reach into my backend here and rip out the plugins powering my tags with my bare hands, but ironically enough a good portion of my traffic comes via my tags archives, so I’m stuck with them for the time being.

Oh man, I’m finished with this post now, so you know what’s coming next. Mommy hold me please.

Ok, ok… deep breath here… deeeeep breath… here we go…

Tags: bite me tags, die tags die, tags, tags blow, tags suck
Categories: Blog Fog
 
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My server is having a temper tantrum here, so if you’re subscribing to my feed you may have seen a few duplicate and wonky posts lately. Sorry about that. Stupid stupid stupid WordPress. It’s like my own blog is conspiring to keep me from blogging here.

Tags: blogging, duplicates, errors, log, server, wordpress
Categories: Blog Fog
 
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A new study reveals that women who wed men who are uglier than they will have a happier marriage than those with a more attractive mate.

In couples where the wife is the hotter one, both parties seem to be content, found a study of 82 newlywed duos in the Journal of Family Psychology.

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Source: NY Daily News

Well yippie kai yay for normally b.s. psycho studies. I think they finally got a clue here.

Of course my luck would have me living in a town where any given hot woman here is so mind numbingly deprived of intelligence that she can’t even wise up to this little factoid, despite being on husband #5. Face it, we hairy-butt faces make far better lovers than the chiseled dweebs you chose to go with.

Of course, it’s also entirely possible that I’m being too hard on myself here, and the reason why I’m having so much trouble finding a date is because I am in fact, just so damned good looking.

Oh well, I guess that’s a cross I’ll just have to bear.

Tags: couples, good looking, hot women, marriage, mate, psychology, study, ugly men
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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