Inside Google’s Algorithm

Lincoln Adams | January 10, 2008 @ 10:05 pm

Had a unusual dream the other night:

I found myself trapped inside Google’s algorithm, which oddly enough turned out to be two towns, built side by side. One town was called Relevant Search Results (RSR), while the other town was called Irrelevant Search Results (ISR). RSR was a sunny looking place: blue skies, flowers blooming, dewy meadows, and all that jazz. ISR on the other hand looked like a New York slum, a dark, grimy looking town with a bizarre populace that looked like it had been the product of several generations of inbreeding.

Guess where I was?

As I walked down the streets of ISR, I was able to behold just about every keyword and search result Google ever found irrelevant, and yet the only thing I remember about the town was meeting Chuck Norris. Yes, THE Chuck Norris, who inexplicably was also walking around ISR looking just as lost was I was. Not only that, he was bald. I’m not talking a little hair loss either, I mean baldy bald-o 100 watt soft white bald. I guess Google didn’t deem a baldheaded Chuck Norris worthy or relevant enough to be a citizen of RSR, so he was stuck in this horrific place instead.

But God bless the man, he was determined to make the best of a bad situation, and even began to perform some of his trademark kicks to help boost my spirits, when I woke up.

Now before you ask, no I don’t do crack, and no I didn’t have 18 shots of whiskey before I turned in for the night, but those are definitely questions I would ask of someone who actually thinks he could interpret this dream. :D


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13 Responses to “Inside Google’s Algorithm”

Jules wrote a comment on January 10, 2008 @ 11:02:pm
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You know, I like RSR. My blog comes up #1 for the search “hot julie” That’s pretty relevant, no?

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on January 10, 2008 @ 11:34:pm
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You might have a point, since I didn’t see you in ISR. :D

Sweet Mummy wrote a comment on January 11, 2008 @ 12:15:am
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You know, that’s just WEIRD! That these things are just rolling around in your head is almost alarming…almost. Mostly it’s just funny. Why would you dream such a thing? Weird indeed!

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on January 11, 2008 @ 12:48:am
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Sometimes if I’m stressing out over something it manifests itself in my dreams (in this instance, my rankings in Google.)

Don’t even ask me how Chuck Norris got into it, though maybe it’s because Google realized you can’t find Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris finds you.

Chuck Norris

John wrote a comment on January 11, 2008 @ 07:20:am
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Next you’re going to dream that Chuck came to work with you and put everyone in their place!

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on January 11, 2008 @ 10:41:am
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Just remember, if at first you don’t succeed, you are not Chuck Norris. :ggrin:

Rachel Hanna wrote a comment on January 12, 2008 @ 07:38:am
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Was it pizza? I’ve heard pizza can cause bizzare dreams. Probably the high proportion of matching letters between “pizza” and “bizzare”. As long as you don’t ever check then I’m sure my reasoning is scientifically sound! :whistle: Ok, it’s late and I’m tired. Maybe I’ll go dream of a bald Chuck Norris eating pizza.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on January 12, 2008 @ 01:11:pm
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Nah, pizza gives me good dreams. :D It may have been the fact that I DIDN’T have pizza that led to this one. :wideeyed:

itot54joni wrote a comment on January 14, 2008 @ 06:36:am
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maybe you were thnking about your google pagerank thats why you dreamt about it.just kidding.

evilwoobie wrote a comment on January 15, 2008 @ 09:20:am
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must have forgotten to do something important before you slept. :D

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on January 15, 2008 @ 10:51:am
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LOL, well it may have been a premonition of sorts, since my PR did go down 1 point in the last update. :tongue:

I hate living in ISR. :dunce:

evilwoobie wrote a comment on January 16, 2008 @ 08:12:am
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too addicted to blogging, i see. :D

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on January 16, 2008 @ 10:48:am
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Aren’t we all? :ggrin:

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