I recently saw the movie Stardust on DVD, which I found to be a somewhat racy film, but one that had its tender moments as well. Here we had a guy who was doing his darndest best to win over the love of a beautiful (and shallow) town girl, but unfortunately, she sees him as nothing more than a lowly and clumsy shop boy. One night both of them witness a shooting star landing somewhere in the magical land of Stormhold, and desperate to prove his love for her, Tristan promises to retrieve the star and bring it to her as a birthday gift.

Ah, the things we do for love…

The star however actually turns out to be another beautiful woman named Yvaine. Apparently, learning that the star was actually a person didn’t seem to faze Tristan one bit, and he uses enchanted rope to tie Yvaine’s hands so he can take her with him:

Tristan: Now, if I’m not mistaken this means you have to come with me. You’re going to be a birthday gift for Victoria, my true love.

Yvaine: But of course! Nothing says “romance” like a kidnapped injured woman!

Too funny. As I watched the movie though, I was reminded of just how truly awful unrequited love can be. I’ve only been in love a handful of times in my life, and yet each time they’ve always been unrequited. I was never good enough for anyone I “loved,” and it broke my heart. If the film showed me anything though, it was that there was something inherently wrong in pursuing after someone who clearly would never reciprocate the same level of love and devotion you had for them. At one point Yvaine confronted Tristan with this uncomfortable truth:

Yvaine: The little I know about love is that it’s unconditional. It’s not something you can buy.

Tristan: Hang on! This wasn’t about me trying to buy her love. This was to prove to her how I felt.

Yvaine: Ah… And what’s she doing to prove how she feels about you?

Tristan: Well… [stares blankly for a moment ] Look Yvaine, you’ll understand when you meet her, all right? If we don’t get murdered by pirates first.

Yvaine: Mmm… Murdered by pirates, heart turned out and eaten, meet Victoria… I can’t quite decide which sounds more fun…

Finally, as Tristan and Yvaine’s initial dislike for each other melted away to reveal true affection, Yvaine declares her love for Tristan in what became my favorite scene in the entire movie:

Yvaine: Yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and… What I’m trying to say, Tristan is… I think I love you. [begins to cry] Is this love, Tristan? I never imagined I’d know it for myself. My heart… It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it’s trying to escape because it doesn’t belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange – no gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.

Ah yes, only in a fairy tale could a woman offer a love like that. Meanwhile the rest of us in the real world have to bust our balls just to get the object of our affections to acknowledge our existence. For a beautiful woman to offer her love so freely… man, it’s just not something I’ve ever experienced, and there are times I wonder if it’s even still possible to find in this cold, cruel, materialistic world we live in. I can only hope the bitterness borne out of a heart that’s been broken so many times before won’t blind me to the day when a star of my very own might cross my path, willing to love me just as unconditionally.

Tags: beautiful woman, darndest, devotion, fairy tale, film, handful, magical land, movie, pirates, romance, rope, shooting star, star, stardust, stormhold, town girl, true love, unrequited love
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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One of my Christmas traditions for the past few years has been to boycott the movie “It’s a Wonderful Life.” To this day I’ve never seen the film, and I have refused to do so until I meet “the one.” Every time I watch a movie by myself, I feel the dull ache of knowing that’s yet another experience I haven’t been able to share with that special girl. I wanted there to be one classic movie left over that I hadn’t seen yet, and only watch it for the first time ever when I finally have my beloved in my arms. I hope if I do meet her someday, she’ll understand why I made this choice, and why it’s so important to me.

Now I’m about to start another tradition. As an early Christmas gift I received a potted miniature Christmas tree, and I thought to myself, “I will continue to take care of this tree until I meet the girl of my dreams, and perhaps even beyond. This will be our future, special tree.” So as long as the tree lives on, my hope lives on. Of course, I’ll have to take the ornaments off after Christmas is over, lest I should look like a moron keeping a decorated Christmas tree around the place in the middle of July.

For now, I can only hope that these two traditions will see soon see their fulfillment, perhaps even as early as next year. In the meantime though, I must continue to play the waiting game.

But for the rest of you, I wish you all the very merriest of Christmas, and that your Holiday season be filled with joy and peace. God bless us everyone.

Tags: beloved, Christmas, christmas gift, christmas traditions, christmas tree, dream girl, early christmas, fulfillment, holiday season, hope, moron, ornaments, romance, special girl, tradition, wait, waiting game, wonderful life
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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As each year draws to a close, I find myself losing more and more hope that I’ll ever find my future beloved. She exists only in a dream, her warmth and love such that only a woman can give was something I would never experience in real life. Any experience I’ve had with the opposite sex have instead always resulted in my heart being ripped out and torn to shreds.

But then something happened on Friday that infused me with a renewed sense of hope. It started when I received some white chocolate treats from a coworker, a pretty brunette I once had a major crush on, until she of course fell in love with another coworker and promptly married him a few months later.

“Wow, thanks Karen, these are great!” Then in passing I mentioned that while I liked white chocolate, dark chocolate was actually my favorite.

So she went home and made a fresh new batch of dark chocolate, just for me. I couldn’t believe it.

“Karen, you didn’t have to do this! I was just teasing!”

“It’s ok, I wanted to.”

I was stunned. This act of charity was truly unexpected and something I never thought would come from her.

Later that evening, I checked the latest video of TV Squad Daily, hosted by the stunningly gorgeous Brigitte Dale. I made a somewhat tongue in cheek comment a few days before asking her to sing a Christmas song, and to my complete surprise, she actually answered that request in her next video (beginning 00:34 seconds in):

Too bad she didn’t post my blog address though. Still, it was a much welcome gesture, especially coming from someone who is quickly coming close to taking the same throne once occupied by Jessica Alba. Ok, that’s enough dreaming now, Linc-O.

In any event, these two acts of goodwill went a long way in taking the bite out of what had otherwise been a stingy Christmas season for me. 2007 had been a terrible year, both health wise and spiritual wise. I needed to believe that better times were ahead, and I’ve been holding dearly on to the hope that 2008 will finally be THE year where everything will change, and where the identity of the mystery blonde will finally be revealed.

I still have a long and grueling road ahead of me though, and the outcome is still uncertain. Yet these two beautiful women collectively gave me the best Christmas gift I could ever ask for: hope.

I thank God for this renewed sense of hope and purpose, as it carries me through this Christmas season and into the dawn of a new era.

Tags: acts, brigitte dale, brunette, charity, Christmas, christmas season, christmas song, coworker. christmas song, dark chocolate, dream girl, few days, future, gesture, gift, God, goodwill, hope, jessica alba, love, new year, romance, shreds, slap, surprise, tongue in cheek, tv squad, warmth, white chocolate, women
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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True story: Guy goes online looking for love, only problem is he’s a 46 year old pretending to be 18. He meets the love of his life, an impressionable 18 year old girl who eventually finds out the man of her dreams is a wee bit older than he let on. Depressed and distraught, she runs into the online arms of a 22 year old stud. Finding this to be a rather unacceptable situation, the guy does the only logical thing he can think of: he grabs up his trusty old rifle, hunts down the 22 year old stud and blows him away.

But there’s another problem: the 18 year old girl of his dreams was also a wee bit older than she let on. As in, she was a 45 years old wife and mother of two kids. Whoops.

By the way, the guy was a church deacon.

I swear people, it’s not like I actually go looking for these stories to show that church people are seriously WHACKED (it was an old news item that showed up in my inbox today). Given my recent string of church bashing though, the timing did seem a little odd. But then again for a guy like me that’s par for the course. Welcome to my weird life, folks.

Tags: church, deception, grabs, inbox, killer, looking for love, love triangle, murder, news item, old girl, old news, old wife, online dating, stud, true story, women
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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Jingle bells, Britney smells,
Jamie laid an egg….

Yep, in what seems to be the beginnings of a Spears tradition, the 16 year old sister of Britney Spears now has one baking in the oven, the result of being the live-in girlfriend of some 19 year old dweeb she met… at church.

What was that about saying I should be going to church if I want to meet a virtuous, pious girl who could be my better half? Brilliant, F___ing “A” strategy there my man.

Tags: britney spears, church, dweeb, girlfriend, jamie spears, jingle bells, morals, pregnant, tradition, women
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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I used to have an 8×10 photo of Jessica Alba on my desk. It has now been replaced by a giant question mark.

Tags: funny, heartbreak, jessica alba, photo, question mark, women
Categories: Gone Mobile
 
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