How I Won By Losing: learning to be independent by depending on God alone

Lincoln Adams | September 5, 2007 @ 8:00 am

Tonight’s chat with a dear friend of mine reminded me of a lesson I learned a few years ago, when I went ape nuts clicking every blue link I could find at iWon.com in a bid to become independently wealthy and attract me some hot gold digging babes. I was on a mission to win something, ANYTHING from iWon’s site, so I could pay my bills, quit my job, and at long last tell my boss to go blow it out his own arse.

I also signed up for these gaming sites too in the hopes that I would become some kind of gaming master and win hundreds of dollars in cash prizes. Instead, I would win $1.50… then lose $2.00, win $4.00, then lose $5.00, and on and on.

For three weeks I was at it, playing games, click click clicking, playing some more games, then click click clicking, then play iWon’s slot machine, then click click clickity click click clicking, until my fingers started to sprain. By the end of the third week I was a few dollars in the hole and my fingers looked liked they belonged to the Elephant Man. I wasn’t getting anywhere. As usual, luck was never a lady with me, and in the end I finally gave up.

The next day I went to work, and as I was signing in, somebody handed me an envelope.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“That’s your raffle prize.”

“My…. what??”

“Every year we raffle off the profits from the soda machines, and everyone is automatically entered. You were one of the winners, so that’s your share. 25 bucks.”

I just stood there, blown away by having finally won something, and especially at the timing of it all. I had spent the last three weeks trying to win every prize imaginable at iWon, and failing miserably at that, and now came this, a $25 prize for a raffle I never even knew existed. I still have that envelope by the way, with the money still inside.

There’s an old joke where a man prays to God to win the lottery and the Lord tells him to go buy a lottery ticket first. In my case even that part had already been taken care of. It was a sobering lesson straight from heaven, and one I had sadly forgotten over the years. As much as I’d like to believe God to rain His blessings on my life without requiring any effort on my part except to receive it, I still strive in my own strength to create my own success, and no matter how many times I fail, that lesson never seems to fully sink in for me. It’s been especially true these past few weeks, as I try to cram as much knowledge as I can find into my poor little brain so I can utilize it all to make money off the Internet, whether through my blog or elsewhere. There’s so much information to sift through, so little time to digest it all, and not enough brainpower on my part to take what I know and transform myself into the self sufficient man that I’ve always longed to be.

And yet I seem to leave no room for God in any of this. I’m trying to do it all on my own strength, relying on the world’s wisdom and philosophies, when instead I should be casting these burdens on Him, and trusting Him to once again provide that envelope of blessings when I truly need it. That’s something no professional blogger or Internet mogul will ever tell you either. But it’s the secret to real success, real peace and freedom from worry, learning that it really is all under His control. If I succeed in this new mission I’ve made for myself, it will not be because of my talents or skills or luck, but only, and ONLY, because God is gracious in His blessings towards me.

By the way, I do intend to use the prize money I won someday… specifically for when I finally meet the girl of my dreams.

Tags: babes, blessing, blessings, blown away, cash, dear friend, elephant, elephant man, failure, financially independent, fingers, gambling, get rich, God, grace, iwon, lord, loser, losing, lottery ticket, love, money, nuts, playing games, prize, prizes, profits, schemes, self sufficient, slot machine, success, win 4, winner, winning, wisdom, world, worldly
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log

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6 Responses to “How I Won By Losing: learning to be independent by depending on God alone”

CaseyC wrote a comment on September 5, 2007 @ 09:58:am
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The money will pay for her half of the meal, right? :sym:

Good reminder, by the way. I needed that.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on September 5, 2007 @ 05:37:pm
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I’m sure it’s enough to pay for us both…. assuming we’re having our first date at Burger King.

ecclesia wrote a comment on September 15, 2007 @ 01:37:pm
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I know this post you wrote was days ago, sorry, I’m a little behind. Anyways, this particular one for some reason grabbed my attention. I’ve been talking to people a lot lately about being blessed by God, etc. You hear sermons about tithing and if you give this, you will be blessed. But what I’ve concluded is, where is your heart when you are serving or tithing? Do we do these things SO THAT we will be blessed, or do we do these things because God wants us to and we want to and perhaps reap some of those blessings? I know I’ve done it for the wrong reasons at times.
Then I think about the “prosperity gospel” that’s famous among many famous preachers. Basically just speak it, and it will happen. A friend once reminded me that Jesus never promised us we would be rich or wealthy in material things. He promised us heavenly treasures. I’ve been reading the book of Philippians. Paul “learned” how to be content with little and with much. What I fail to remember is that anything I have is the Lord’s and not my own. He can give it and take it as He seems fit. Some might think that as unfair or unjust, but I was reminded of something else recently. We are here to glorify God, our Creator, and we must remember we are living for Him, not for ourselves. It’s very hard to take in sometimes.
However, I also believe the Lord offers many blessings if we are putting our faith and trust in Him. And sometimes He blesses us in ways we least expect or even initially want. Sometimes we miss the blessings. Sorry I don’t have references in front of me, but in Matthew Jesus talks about being worried about what we eat or drink or our clothes. Are we not more important than the birds and the lillies? I hope I paraphrased that right.
I guess that’s why Scripture says to stay focused on the things above and not focus on wordly desires. They don’t go with us when we die, it’s all temporary. According to Paul, our main calling is to spread the gospel, no matter what the cost. Philippians offers a lot of wisdom in this matter.
I know it took him time, but Paul amazes me with his strength and courage. While in prison, he is always rejoicing and his main concern is that his churches are standing firm and united in one spirit and that the “right” gospel is being spread. If only I could display just an ounce of that selflessness and humbleness.
Sorry, didn’t mean to write an essay or go off on a rabbit trail. It just so happened that your particular post has been a topic of conversation of mine recently!

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on September 16, 2007 @ 01:57:am
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Hi ecclesia,

Thanks for visiting, and sorry I haven’t gotten back to your blog yet. Ironically enough, I’ve been busy working to install some new features here that will allow me to monetize my blog some more. :blush:

I hear you about the prosperity gospel though. I can’t STAND it when people prescribe to that kind of theology and start naming it and claiming it. :tongue:

For me, I’m not concerned about being rich or having gobs of money. I never desired luxury things or many worldly possessions, heck I don’t even want a house. What I would like is freedom, freedom to get away from a dead end job and pursue a more worthwhile way of life, and the capacity to help those in need, beginning with my family. My parents have endured so much suffering in the past few years, and partly as a result of their trials neither of them can ever retire. It breaks my heart and it’s partly why I’m running myself ragged trying to financially establish myself, so they no longer have to struggle and suffer healthwise just to make ends meet.

I want to believe that God will care for us and keep us safe in troubled times, but at the same time part of me despairs that He just doesn’t care about us anymore, if ever, and it falls to me to undo the financial damage that was inflicted upon us by some truly evil people.

As much as I know in my mind that true Christianity does not promise an easy life, it’s still jarring to see just how difficult this walk can really be at times. :unsure:

ecclesia wrote a comment on September 16, 2007 @ 08:19:am
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Yes, yes, this life is rough and can be frustrating. I hope you don’t think I was disagreeing with your blog, I was just adding to some of your thoughts simply because that particular topic has been on my mind lately.

You said, “As much as I know in my mind that true Christianity does not promise an easy life, it’s still jarring to see just how difficult this walk can really be at times.” Who better than Paul to have learned about trials and tribulations. Though this is easier said than done, it at least gives some hope to this life in Romans 5:3 (by the way, even though the theology is hard, I love Romans) “Therefore having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith ino this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this but we also exult in our tribulation, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance,proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit what was given to us.” And it goes on.

I think you are on the right road if you are trying hard to make something of yourself and get a good job and help your family financially. You’re doing what any man wants to do and trying to be a provider. I believe some of the responsibility falls on us to get out there and do something about our situation and not always sit and wait for the answer to drop from the sky. As long as we are in constant communication with the Holy Spirit, He will guide us in the right direction, though sometimes it seems unclear.

Trust me, I completely understand how you feel sometimes. My husband and I struggle financially, probably not in the same way as you. Please don’t think I’m comparing. We recently made a decision to move in with a family that has 5 kids. I help take care of them while the parents work. We live in their basement. There are now 11 people living in this house, including the sister that is battling Colon Cancer. No, it’s not the ideal, but I thank God our needs are at least being met. But I often wish we could have a house of our own and be more financially independent. Perhpas someday. I read Scripture all the time and it always sounds so easy, but when it comes to application, it becomes a battle of wills for me. It’s really difficult to trust in something we cannot see. I guess that’s just where faith comes in.

Just a little story to leave you with. I talk to a friend of my aunt’s at times when I struggle with finances and child-rearing. She’s friends with someone who has 10 kids. Tell me that isn’t insane. Apparently this family lived in a trailor just so the wife could stay home with her kids and homeschool. I can’t imagine what the sleeping arrangements must’ve been like. It certainly is not the “typical” situation of an American family. Just recently they got to a point where they could get rid of the trailor and build on the property they live on. It must’ve been years of struggle before they got to that point. I couldn’t even imagine.

It’s humbling. Sometimes being patient with God can make me so impatient. But He always manages to come through somehow. I’ve noticed in my life, it’s always been at the 11th hour.

Please don’t think I’m preaching, just adding to what you have to say and sharing some of the things I’ve learned. Trust me, I’m not even going to pretend to understand what you are dealing with, however I wanted to offer some words of encouragement. Isn’t that what the Church (the Saints) is all about? I know when it gets hard for me, I need to hear the encouragment. I think it’s my brothers and sisters in Christ that help me keep going! Hang in there, my friend. Sounds like you’re doing a pretty good job of it already! Trust in the Holy Spirit and you can’t go wrong.

Lincoln Adams wrote a comment on September 16, 2007 @ 06:22:pm
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ecclesia, there’s no need to guard your thoughts with me, so don’t worry that what you say might offend me. As long as you don’t tell me that the Atlanta Braves are a great team, we’ll be fine.

I know what it’s like to live in really constricted spaces too, though not with 10 other people. :shock: I hope your situation gets better too.