I found your blog through a link from a comment you made on another blog. You are truly a gifted writer! However, some of the things I’ve read here were profoundly disturbing because of the depth of depression that you seem to be enduring.

Your “About” section says you are a Christian. So am I. May I suggest to you that you read Romans 9:20? I think you’d be better served in your ongoing quest for a different job and female companionship if you would…truly…humble yourself before God.

The “bad news” is your sins and mine separate us from a holy God. He doesn’t owe us a thing but His eternal wrath. God is being unbelievably good to let sinful rebels like us live. We have no “right” to complain so bitterly.

The “good news” is that God gives grace to the humble–those who are willing to admit their profound spiritual need and embrace, as their only hope, Jesus, “the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.”

Please, don’t allow yourself to wallow in self-pity. Self-pity is just a twisted form of pride. God resists the proud, but He gives grace to the humble.

I do care, and I have prayed for you.

I found your blog through a link from a comment you made on another blog. You are truly a gifted writer!

Thanks bro.

Your “About” section says you are a Christian. So am I. May I suggest to you that you read Romans 9:20? I think you’d be better served in your ongoing quest for a different job and female companionship if you would…truly…humble yourself before God.

Wow, I certainly never heard THIS before.

Listen, I do appreciate your advice, but I think what’s truly concerning is not what I’ve written, but that it seems to be such a common feeling amongst a lot of Christians today. I really do think most Christians feel the same way at some point or another, but in today’s churches they usually repress it and put on a fake smile so no one knows what they’re truly thinking. In my view, this is much more damaging. There seems to be this expectation in many churches today where you are simply not permitted to have your low points and doubt God.

Personally, I feel like God has let me down. This is something I have to work out with Him though. I don’t want to remain bitter and angry, but I can’t just flip a switch and be Mr. Christian Happy Sunshine again. In time though, I hope I will… well not happy sunshine, just someone who can learn to trust God again and believe His love is meant for me as well.

Lincoln, I’ve been there: In 2000, I was fired from a job that I felt God had led me to. I thought God had abandoned me, turned His back on me, duped me and led me down a dead-end street. I trusted God, prayed and “stepped out on faith” in taking this job, only to see the rug pulled out from under me. Close on the heels of that firing was another crushing disappointment. I started to see my whole adult life as a string of disappointments orchestrated by God. I doubted God’s love and often thought death would be better than the life I was experiencing.

As far as relationships, I’ve been married 17 years, but before I was married I had wondered many, many times if I would ever find someone, if someone would ever love me.

So, Lincoln, I understand what you’re saying. I totally empathize. But, I learned a few years ago that I could not fight against God. That’s a fight we will always lose; it doesn’t move God, and it won’t change our situation. I found the only way out in James 4:6-10 (ESV):

“But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”

Life is not perfect now, but I am determined to not go back down in that dark hole of bitterness, anger and depression again.

So, Lincoln, I would encourage you to get into the Scriptures for solace. The Psalms were the easiest for me to digest in my darkest moments. Let them be your prayer. Outside of Scripture, I got much help from the writings of John Piper.

I will continue to pray for you.

So, Lincoln, I understand what you’re saying. I totally empathize. But, I learned a few years ago that I could not fight against God. That’s a fight we will always lose; it doesn’t move God, and it won’t change our situation.

I dunno, Jacob managed to pull it off, though it did leave him a cripple.

But I see what you’re saying. In the end, I think it’s about trusting that God only has your best interests in mind, and that can be really REALLY hard to do when all of life seems to fall apart or come to a standstill. I can understand now why some people become hardened atheists even though they had a Christian background.

Thanks for the prayers!

I just had to come over and see what 75 plug ins looks like!

I just had to come over and see what 75 plug ins looks like!

LOL, not all it’s cracked up to be, but with a little prayer they’ll continue to be nice to each other.

Maybe in a future blog post I might list them all.

Awww poor Lincoln. Maybe you could wait for my little girl to grow up. j/k. You’ll find her soon!

LOL, I don’t think I could wait THAT long.

P.S. Wonder what’s up with Adsense here. Kabbalah jewelry ads??? Seems like even Google is making fun of me these days.

Yeah but she’s so darn cute. A redhead like her mama. It could be worse. An ad for Daily Kos.

It could be worse. An ad for Daily Kos.

If that happens, shoot me.