I’m sorry you have been feeling this way lately…. but sometimes when God feels the farthest away, He is closer than you know…

Hang in there… I am praying for you, right now….

Thanks Marshie.

I was kinda in a bad mood when I wrote that, but I’ve been feeling better since, though now I’m in another bad mood because changes I spent an hour making to an article got completely lost when I went to upload it.

Hi Lincoln

I don’t know how I came across your blog, but somehow Ive managed to become a regular reader…

Just wondering, what job is it you do that you hate so much??

Thanks for reading Chris, I appreciate that.

I can’t be too specific about my job, but it is in the criminal justice field, and rife with office politics, ego wars and incompetent people unable to count backwards from ten. Oy. :hair: My duties are largely administrative and usually involves cleaning up other people’s messes.

Linc, have you ever heard of the book, The Secret. It is great to read when we are feeling down and low and think that God is the one who doesn’t care about us. From my own experiences, and I have been where you are, it isn’t God that turned his back on me. God is standing behind me just waiting for me to turn around. If you want to see where I come from, check out my blog. I know what it is like to hate myself and God. I also know the lessons that I learned from it were some of the most powerful in my life. With your words of discontent, you are creating more discontent. What do you like about your life right now? Even small things can help pull you up out of the hole that you feel that you are in right now. Find others that love you, until you can learn to love yourself. God is patiently waiting. Sorry if I sound preachy. Didn’t intend to. I know that I will change only when I am ready. That applies to all of us. Create the life you want by loving yourself. If you love yourself, the rest will come.

@Patricia: Yes I know about the Secret, but I’m not too keen on reading a book written by a scam artist. I can eat whatever I want and stay thin as long as I send out positive vibes into the universe?

My ass.

There might be some degree of truth in it, but such truths are offset by the kind of simple logic that completely demolishes the assertions made by the book’s author. Shall I start blaming the Jews for the Holocaust now because they were thinking too negatively? Because that’s exactly what this book would suggest due to its corrupt and humanistic philosophy. In short, Byrne gives mere human thoughts and “vibes” waaaaaaaay too much credit for both the positive and negative things that happen in this world. We might be able to change the way we personally look at life, but that doesn’t mean Jessica Alba will soon fall into my lap the minute I start thinking Peter Pan-Happy Thoughts here.

I do appreciate your concern though, and I don’t mean to berate you. I just have very little tolerance for scams and B.S., especially the kind propagated by people like Oprah.

Read this article here. You might find it enlightening.

Linc,

Don’t know how life is treating you now, but I can only hope it is better. I know EXACTLY what you were feeling and believe it or not, it helped to see that I’m not the only one. The last three years have been hell on earth. I’ve prayed, fasted, believed, confessed, given sacrificially and well…here I am worse off than before. In the past three years I’ve watched my money dry up, my health deteriorate, my ministry go down the tubes due to an abusive, slanderous ex-husband that I had arrested for domestic violence, my kids lose their faith in God because of what they’ve seen me go through and on and on and on. All the while I’ve cried out to God, continued to praise Him during homelessness and hunger. It gets old. You get worn down. At some point if the train doesn’t reach the station, you think about getting off the train. It’s been a 22 year close relationship with Him, but the last 3 years He got off somewhere and left me on the ride alone. I guess it’s time to realize that and disembark too.

Hi Deborah,

I know it’s encouraging to see we’re not alone in these struggles, but it still breaks my heart to see what you’ve had to endure. I know one of the reasons we go through these things is because God is looking for the kind of faith that can survive any storm. Job had it worst then all of us, and even though he accused God of laughing at the trial of the innocent (Job 9:23), he was also determined to hold fast to the end: “Though he slay me, yet will I trust in Him.”

There is a reason for everything, good reasons too, and just because we can’t see it right now, doesn’t mean it won’t reveal itself in due season. I was so angry with God for ruining my plans to attend law school, but now I’m beginning to understand that He may have been trying to prevent me from what would have been a disastrous decision.

Be of good cheer. We really do serve a benevolent Savior who is touched by our infirmities, and we need only ask Him for the grace and mercy we need to help us endure our darkest hours, until it is finally behind us. I will pray that you reach your station soon.