Yeah yeah, there’s been some talk about butt faced men getting some serious cuddle time from hot women around the blogosphere, so naturally I had to chime in.

First of all, this is the Sun we’re talking about, you know, the UK tabloid Brits fondly refer to as a shag-rag, and which also sport fascinating headlines such as “Double Decker Bus Found on Moon!” As soon as I found out the source right away I knew this article was going to be a load of crap. I mean seriously, the dudes in the photos didn’t even appear all that ugly. They’re no Ben Afflecks, but they’re certainly don’t look like a bunch of butt balls either (though one of them could use a real haircut).

Was this really supposed to make Elephant men like me feel better? To me it just conveys the message, “Wow, lookie here, even the skanky ones are getting some loving, so there must REALLY be something wrong with you if you can’t match their success!” Thanks guys! Here, come a little bit closer so I can use an ice cream scoop to rip out that part of your throat box giving you that snooty British accent. Trust me, I’ll feel better if you do.

I sound bitter. Am I bitter?