Came into work today:

“Hey Linc, Happy Valentine’s!”

“Bite me.”

“Yo, Linc, got any special plans for valentine?”

“Sit on it, assface.”

I sit down at my desk, and Mick my coworker approaches me. “Say, Linc….”

“Look, snothead, I swear to God if you so much as even hint at mentioning Valentine’s I will vomit the contents of my last meal all over your nice shiny uniform. I do not care about Valentine’s, understand? As far as I’m concerned, Valentine is a pissant piece of garbage gay ass, crap ass, dog ass, everything ass, commercialized demonic STD infested rat piss of a holiday.”

Mick looked at me for a few seconds.

“I just wanted to know if you finished going through the court papers we got yesterday.”

“……………………………………………oh. Yeah, it’s all finished.”

Tags: coworker, desk, garbage, i hate valentine, job, last meal, valentines day
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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After going back and forth with the local law school that accepted me into their part time program, I finally made a decision.

I will not attend law school.

I knew if it was meant to be, the pieces would fall into place. Instead, my school absolutely refused to give me any leeway in granting me a schedule that wouldn’t conflict with my working hours. After conferring with my admissions counselor, the director of admissions, the assistant dean, and finally the dean himself, they flatly stated I must adhere to THEIR schedule, and I would be unable to change it should I be assigned to classes that fall within my working hours. For $25,000 a year and a debt load that will surpass more than a $100,000, this is how they’re going to treat me?

Up yours, law school.

Let’s get one thing straight: I don’t play by your rules. If I should ever attend law school sometime in this life, it will be under MY terms. The bottomline is, you’re all full of crap. You perpetuate a system that robs people of their financial freedom, commit academic fraud by doing virtually nothing to prepare your students for the real world of lawyering, and encourage the use of a grading curve that promotes back stabbing competition, as well as the false notion that students are doing well in classes when in fact they are HORRIBLE students, and are only surviving school because of their inflated grades.

Simply put: You SUCK.

I wanted to be a lawyer for charitable reasons, but I finally had to come clean and concede that I don’t really love the law enough to survive the perils of law school, and especially the legal profession itself. It does interest me at times, but it’s certainly nothing I’m passionate about. I don’t like the idea of writing dry memos and briefs all day long, and certainly not as a junior associate slave for some two bit law firm. Reading legal material is absurdly boring as well, mostly because it’s hard to digest the pompous and sometimes godawful writings of judges and attorneys who had probably failed third grade English during their adolescent years.

I also realized my debt load would severely limit my options and would make me a slave to my loans unless I somehow struck it rich with a case or won the lottery. By not attending law school, I will be completely debt free in the space of a year, and at that point I will be beholden to no one. I can probably do more good as a non-lawyer who is debt free then as a practicing attorney who is over $100,000 in debt.

However, life can be a funny old dog sometimes. While I have decided not to attend law school now, it doesn’t mean the door won’t suddenly open up later on in life. There’s a saying in Scripture where God promises His people that they would be “the head, and not the tail.” I know the time will be right for me when I can attend law school as a head beholden to no one, rather than a tail who would be at the mercy of a corrupt and perverse legal establishment.

Though I’m a bit disappointed, I do feel like a heavy burden has been lifted from my shoulders. Now I can focus on getting myself healthy again, exploring interests and hobbies that I could truly be passionate about, and of course last but not least: finding the girl of my dreams.

Tags: academic fraud, admissions counselor, bottomline, curve, debt load, financial, financial freedom, freedom, law school, lawyering, leeway, legal material, legal profession, memos, part time, perils, pompous, real world, time program
Categories: Legally Speaking
 
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Yep, there’s really no other explanation for why I keep going back to online dating sites. As much as I bashed and thrashed eHarmony in the past, what do I do?

I sign up for another 3 month account.

After seeing the truly bizarre matches I’ve been getting, I came to my senses before it was too late and cancelled my subscription. I have to give eHarmony credit for making it relatively easy to cancel and get a refund, so at least here there was nothing gained, nothing lost. So what do I do now?

I sign up for 3 months with Match.com.

Where’s the nearest exit sign so I can find my way out of this damned stupid body of mine? Yoish. Despite paying less and getting to choose my matches now, I’m still trying to figure out why I’m doing this. I also signed up for several other sites that allow me to post a free profile, but I won’t even think about paying for their services unless I get contacted by a REALLY good prospect, or by Jessica Alba herself.

I guess this is my way of putting myself out there while I fight my health battles, and maybe by the time I get my body under control and in shape again, I will have already met someone online that I’d be ready to meet in real life.

One can dream anyway, at least.

As much as I don’t want to, I think I have to give up the notion that there is a girl out there willing to accept my imperfections upfront and even help me improve on them. I always thought a lot of women liked the idea of changing a man (a la Jerry Maguire), and that they would appreciate a guy who was honest, even if he wasn’t perfect.

Nope.

This is why guys who lie their asses off on their profiles or in real life get all the girls. Even when they get found out (as they do eventually), the girls are already emotionally invested and stick with them. The result is a lot of unhappy marriages where the women eventually become sadder, older and wiser, realizing they should have gone for that honest nice guy all along. But of course now it’s too late.

So what’s the morale that nice guys should learn from this? Simple:

LIE. Lie your big fat holy righteous ass off. Girls say they want honest, nice guys and are ok with a few imperfections. This is true, but only when a relationship has already been established. Prior to that, your life and personality has to be a resume to them. Every success has to be embellished, and every seeming shortcoming has to be minimized or omitted. You must appear in every shape or form as the perfect guy to them. Just like the mighty moose, you have competition from other male moose who all want to get it on with the same hot babe with the sexy antelopes that you’re interested in. You have to be stronger and better than all of them to win her heart. And if you’re not, you do the next best thing: lie… lie…. lie…. Don’t worry, if you win her heart, she’ll eventually forgive you. THEN you can safely start being the nice, honest guy that women truly want you to be, even though they tend not to realize that until much later on in life.

And that’s the way it is.

Tags: asses, dating sites, eharmony, exit sign, girls, health, imperfections, jerry maguire, jessica alba, match, match.com, nice guy, notion, profiles, senses, shape, unhappy marriages
Categories: Romance and Relationships
 
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The week is finally drawing to a close, and I’m stuck here at work for a few more hours with no one to talk to, and no one to chat with on my instant messaging list. Evidently the rest of the world had already made plans for Friday night that didn’t include me.

What a week too. From problems at work to struggling with my acid reflux problem, I’ve seen better days for sure. January was largely a crappy month, and so far 2007 is shaping up to be yet another crappy ass year. I’m fighting to change that though, but some days I feel like I’m not making any headway.

It always seems to be this time of week where my depression suddenly descends over me like a dark cloud, and I feel the full weight of the world on my shoulders. I guess I can understand why though, because of my work schedule I’m usually working Friday nights by myself at the office, so while everyone has an early jump on their weekend, I’m pretty much left here all by my lonesome.

It is then that a deep melancholy settles in when I realize I won’t be getting any calls from any good friends, nor will there be any surprise drop-ins from a loved one just to keep me company. I am a forgotten man.

How did it get to this point? I blame it largely on my health, which has deteriorated over the years because I’m not man enough to deal with my stress the right way. Sure, I’ve had some hard times in the past, even awful times. But I’ve only prolonged my misery by not rolling with the punches. I just let myself be beaten down by life, and it’s a miracle that I would still have some willpower left over to get up off the mat and try again.

But this time I fear I may already be down for the count. This acid reflux issue has me thinking I’ll never be healthy again, not without risking major surgery, and it’s completely draining my resolve. Only God can pull me out of the abyss, and it remains to be seen whether I’ve exhausted all of His grace to no longer be worthy of His aid, or whether His mercy will save me yet again.

I’m tired. I want to go home and sleep, sleep until I can dream those dreams where my life had taken a completely different path than the one it’s on now. A life where where I learn how to make good friends and keep them. A life where I finally meet my soulmate and better half. A life where I can and do make a difference. Such dreams are lovely, dark and deep…

…but I have miles to go before I can sleep.

Tags: abyss, acid reflux, better days, dark cloud, depression, friday night, good friends, headway, ins, melancholy, miracle, misery, resolve, rest of the world, willpower
Categories: Lincoln's Personal Log
 
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